100 Squats for 30 Days Challenge

Last Tuesday, I had the day off work because I spent the morning taking a 5 hour certification test. (I'm certified 6-12 ELA but am getting my K-6 General certification.) Afterward, my brain was mush so I spent some time on the couch watching YouTube.

One of the recommended videos that popped up on my homepage was this one:

I was intrigued. I know squats are a great exercise for your whole body, and I know women runners in particular need to strengthen hammies and quads to avoid injury. Kristina's squat and dead lift videos and progress are incredibly inspiring and cool to watch, too! I have always done my share of squats, but I liked the idea of a target challenge.

Taking a year off from running and basically any real workouts means I've lost lots of muscle definition. I am not happy with how my quads look right now and I want to be a strong runner. So, I decided that after the A1A 5k, I was going to start doing this challenge!

I figured I'd be super sore at first, so starting after a race is a good time because I'll be "recovering" anyway.

Track & Field, which I am co-coaching this year, began last week so I can probably incorporate some of my squats into practices, but mostly I'm going to try to break my squats into sets of 25. I'll do the first set when I wake up, the second set at lunchtime (my colleagues have already agreed to join in my squat party), the third after work, and the fourth set before bed.

Anyone want to join me? I am already three days into the challenge and feeling great! I created a Facebook group to help support/encourage/hold accountable anyone who wants in. I'm looking forward to seeing more definition and feeling stronger by the end of the month.

ABK

Freedom from Fear (and Shirts)

I've always wanted to be a runner who could run shirtless. I used to tell myself, "One day, when I'm fit enough, that will be me." My primary reason for setting this goal is that running in Florida is hot and every layer makes a difference. You wouldn't think shedding one thin, breathable layer would make much difference, but it really does. My primary reason for putting the goal off? I didn't think I looked fit enough to "deserve" to run shirtless.

Running shirtless is a topic we see a lot in summer, and a couple awesome women in the Sub 30 women's sub-group decided to host a virtual event that encouraged the ladies in our group to celebrate freedom from the shirt on the 4th of July. Men don't think twice about whipping off their shirts when it's hot out; why should we?

When this event was first announced, I decided that if I kept waiting for "one day", I'd never really feel ready. So I decided to run shirtless before I felt ready (fake it 'til you make it, right?), and since that first run I've found it easier to make it a habit. I've felt lighter, cooler, and weirdly...more free.

Real bodies; real women MOVE.

It's been really amazing to see so many strong women with a multitude of athletic accomplishments under their belts shed their shirts and embrace their bodies. I honestly can't tell you how inspired and motivated it has made me. The strength and support of other women in this movement helped me stomp that naysaying voice into submission.

The thing that stops many of us from running shirtless is that we don't think we look good enough to  pull it off. Well, who cares if you don't look "good enough"? What standards are we even using to measure what good enough means?

I'm sick of being uncomfortable when I run because of some self-created fear that people might judge me. If they don't like it, they don't have to look! My body doesn't exist for the eyes of others; it doesn't exist for their pleasure. It's a strong body that has gotten me through dozens of 5ks and 10ks, 10 half marathons, and three marathons. It supported me through Ragnar. It allows me to get up and go to work and live my life.

Looking at the women who participated in this event, it drives home the point that insecurities are rarely about what we actually look like. I don't understand why any of these women are self-conscious because I think they all look great. As they posted their photos, every comment confirmed what I felt: "You look awesome!" "You look confident!" "You look strong!" The stories accompanying the photos were full of self-realization and empowerment. 

I remembered that the flaws we see in ourselves are rarely visible to others.

You wouldn't think running shirtless would be as freeing as it turned out to be...But it is. I've wasted a lot of time hoping to someday be "fit enough" to run shirtless, and now I know that when I say women of any fitness level deserve to wear whatever they want, it applies to me, too.

I talk a lot about body acceptance and appreciating your body for what it's capable of. I need to work harder to apply that thinking to myself. Why not? For all I know, maybe people see me running shirtless and think, "If only I had that confidence."

Somedays I still feel weird about running without a shirt. I know each summer, after winter running dictates I need a shirt due to weather, this will be a renewed battle. But I also know that this kind of confidence (even if I'm faking it sometimes) is contagious, because Elizabeth has followed suit and run shirtless with me a couple times now, and that makes the discomfort worth it...because I want all women to feel comfortable enough to run shirtless whenever they want! 

If my step forward helps others get there, then that's a good thing for everyone. And I couldn't have done it without the community of women who encouraged each other to rock our bodies. Thank you for joining in and inspiring each other, ladies! And a special thanks to the women who were willing to let me share their pictures today: Meaghan, Tory, Tina, Dianne, Cathy, Candace, Patricia, Meagan, Kim, Nancy, Tovah, Kirsten, Chelsea, Steph, Honore, and Kara!

Whether you feel ready or not, taking a step outside your comfort zone is how we grow...and how we grow stronger. I'm glad I've stopped waiting for "one day" and am learning to be comfortable in my skin sooner rather than later.

Do you run without a shirt on?

What's a risk you want to take but don't feel ready to?

When's the last time you left your comfort zone?

ABK

Self-Imposed Limits

One of the best things about running is that the longer you stick with it, the more it teaches you and the more you grow. It's not just that you get better at it, or smarter about how you go about it. Running breaks down our self-imposed limitations even when that's not our goal.

And like any muscle, once we've broken down, we grow back stronger.

When I first began running, I was a two-miler. I mean, when I really first began, I considered anything an accomplishment, but once I got into the habit of it, two miles was my maximum.

And being able to find this kind of data is why I'll never leave Nike+.

Then I ran a 5k, and I was like, okay, 3.1 miles is my maximum.

And every day I'd run 1.5 miles from my house to a stoplight down the road, turn around, and run home. Then, a friend mentioned she had finally pushed beyond and gone four miles, and I remember thinking OMG, I can try to go four?!

And the first time I did, I felt absolutely elated and indomitable and just. plain. awesome.

I enjoyed going back and reading the build-up to this run. I was smart about building the mileage and then ran it three times the following week! I hit 4 miles and never looked back!

Since then, I've watched other self-imposed limitations fall by the wayside. I remember thinking a 10k sounded so daunting and scary, so impossible. And yet here I am, having run multiple.

I remember thinking that a sub-30 5k was impossible, and yet here I am, inching into the 26-range.

There are myriad examples, and there's no need to rehash them all; I guess what I'm getting at is that running - more than anything in my life - has shown me that many of the barriers and roadblocks I've faced are in my head. They're completely self-imposed and they're often not even physically impossible; they're only mentally impossible.

There was a time not that long ago that running a marathon seemed like the hardest, craziest thing someone could ever do! And now I've run three!

As a brand new runner, I couldn't run a quarter mile. Maybe physically I could, but I'd never done it before. The mile run in gym class? Yeah, I'd make it halfway around the track and start walking. Part of that was that I'd never been trained to pace myself (and I've written about that before), but it felt completely physical.

I wonder now if maybe that inability was mental. If I had known how to push myself, maybe I could have gone farther.

And maybe that's the point. As we stick with running, we learn to overcome our mental obstacles, and then we go farther - maybe because we're finally physically ready, but also because our minds have finally caught up with our bodies. Finally, our minds believe.

And once the mind is on board, we can do pretty much anything. So now I'm sitting here wondering: what else in my life feels physically, truly impossible? And, more importantly...is it?

What has running taught you?
Are you mentally stronger in different aspects since becoming a runner?
What is something you truly think you're physically incapable of?

ABK

Embracing "Girly" & Discovering Strength

Thanks, Amanda, for hosting TOL.

Teaching middle school serves as a daily reminder that those years are rarely solidly good. When you ask people what the best years of their lives were, does anyone ever say middle school? We wandered the halls hoping not to be noticed - or to be noticed by the right people - unsure of who we really were or if anyone would like us if they knew the real us.

If you were anything like me, you dealt with this anxiety by pretending to be above it all. Middle school is all about masks. I thought I was singularly unattractive and unoriginal, so I went the route of pretending to embrace that, and I forced myself into a kind of tomboy mold.

(I looked for pictures of these years to share with you guys, but I seem to remember avoiding cameras at all costs, and I must have burned all photo evidence of those years. Good thing Britt had this photo to share.)

I wore giant T-shirts and huge, baggy jeans - anything to hide my body. My hair was in a perpetual bun. The only makeup I used was worn to cover acne. When cotillions and dances came along, I wore my pretty dresses and heels with the grace of a newborn giraffe.

I developed a shell. I wanted to be tough, and I wanted people to know I was tough. In doing so, I turned away from all things girly. Even when I began to enjoy "girly" things - the color pink, makeup, dresses, etc - I'd try to be ironic about it.

But over the last few years, I've learned to love being girly. More accurately, I've learned to embrace the complex parts of my personality. I'm tough, yeah, but I'm girly too. Those things aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, over time I've learned that girls - women - are tougher than we let on. We might hide our steel under smooth skin and lipstick, but we're no less strong for our soft exteriors.

Feeling strong and girly at Gasparilla with Kristin.

I've come to realize that accepting who we are and having the courage to reveal every aspect of ourselves is what makes us tough. Hiding behind a tough exterior makes you seem strong, but masks are brittle. They crack. They're not meant to last.

Living as you are and as you want to be...that makes you actually strong. And personally, I don't think there's anything better. When you're strong, you can care for others, show compassion, experience joy, go after a dream, work hard, stand up, fight...

If I can be anything, I want to be strong.

This ended up being a totally different kind of post than I planned. I really wanted to rant about how women can kick butt even in a running skirt. I guess there was more to explore than I thought!

How do you define strength?

Do you consider yourself girly?

Are there any parts of your personality that you aren't comfortable with, or try to hide?

ABK

Paradigm Shift

I've talked a little bit before about The Leader In Me and the Seven Habits at my school. This past Tuesday, we had a teacher workshop that revisited the first three habits and paradigms.

Paradigms are how we see and interpret the world. What we see affects our actions. What we do directly influences what we get.

In life, we should work toward having paradigm shifts, where our point of view is altered and thus, so is our reality. We see the world as it really is; our blinders, preconceived notions, and assumptions fall away.

This classic optical illusion is a good example of a paradigm shift. Whether you see the old woman or young woman first, once you see the other, you can't possibly look at the image the same way again. Your view has been altered.

As we were doing some personal reflection Tuesday, I had a paradigm shift.

I was ruminating on my post about Matt's race, and the insight I had about Matt's reaction to finishing 32 miles compared to my reaction to finishing 26.2.

Matt's look of determination and grit...

...my look of pure disbelief and joy.

I wrote that maybe Matt's apparent lack of awe at his accomplishment was due to his total confidence in himself as an athlete, whereas my total amazement with myself was a result of my constant doubt.

Despite all I've accomplished, I still see myself as a weak runner. This is my paradigm, even though I hadn't really realized I believed it until Tuesday.

I didn't always feel this way. In 2012-2013, I was PR'ing like crazy and I knew I was awesome. When and how did this negative paradigm take over? Why did I let it?

The paradigm shift I experienced Tuesday seems so obvious, and it's probably something I've thought of before but never with such clarity: I can be a great athlete if I really put the effort into it, because despite all I say and do, I haven't actually put my full effort into training in over two years. 

Here's the other part of the paradigm shift: I began allowing myself to slack off and make excuses for the sake of enjoying running again after too much overtraining, but now I'm tired of the lack of drive. My "take it easy" mentality has turned into self-doubt, because I haven't been pushing myself enough. So this paradigm is a cage of my own making.

Anyway, turning these thoughts over in my head has helped me come to a decision about next year. I won't be running a marathon in 2016. I'm going to go back to 5k and 10k races, with the occasional half thrown in. And I'm tired of letting myself coast. I want to focus on making improvements where they really count for the long haul.

Rather than running long, I want to refocus on running fast.

(I'm still really excited about my marathon this year! Don't get me wrong. But I'm definitely ready to step back into shorter distances and focus on fundamentals once BDR is in the bag.)

If I fail, I fail. But I think it will feel good to challenge myself in a new way and to truly work toward creating a new paradigm.

Have you ever experienced a paradigm shift?

ABK

My Favorite Photo (Trigger Warning)

Let me be up front about this...I don't really know if I want to be writing this post. It's been swimming around in my head for ages and I know it's a topic that could create hope or change or empowerment for some people, so I should post it.

But it's also really private. Not to those who have known me a long time, not really; but it's not something I talk about much even with them. And while I do share a lot of my life here on the blog, there are some parts that I try not to delve into.

Still, I feel like sometimes being brave means putting things out there, and I've been wanting to put this out there for months. So here it is.

This is my favorite running photo.

It was taken after the Space Coast Marathon as I sat, recovering and crying a little, covered in glory and friends and flowers, sporting my brand new medal. Victorious.

The words on my arms are words from my sister, who wrote me a heart-wrenching good luck card, and Matt, whose usual blunt encouragement leaves no room for disagreement.

And those words, scrawled on my arms before I set off to do something totally life-affirming, something that epitomizes strength and determination, are written over dozens of self-inflicted scars.

You can barely tell in the photo. Most people don't really notice them in person, or if they notice, they have the tact not to ask about them.

But I see them. When I look at this photo, my eyes zero in on this strange meeting of my greatest time of weakness and my greatest moment of strength.

When I look at this photo, I see what my life was and what it has become. I am so grateful; I am humbled; I am in awe. I created those scars during a time in my life when I never imagined I could ever have the strength to turn my pain into something worthwhile. And here they are, obscured by words that prove the simple truth that, yes, I was able to do just that.

I don't know where my running will continue to take me, but I do know that it has already impacted my life in so many ways, and this picture is just one example of how completely I have changed...in part thanks to this sport and all it has given me. This March was my 10th anniversary of being..."clean", I guess you'd say. Some days are harder than others, and on those days, I run.

I know running has changed many of my runner-friends' lives for the better. Do you have a story to share?

ABK

Being Likable is Overrated

I had to laugh (kind of) when Kristina posted about being "too aggressive" in a work meeting because I'd had this post under construction when I read hers. (If you haven't seen it, go read it! She tackles this topic eloquently and with, perhaps, more relevancy than myself.)

Over the last few years, I've been making the purposeful choice to not care what people think. This seems to be working for me; the result has been that my confidence has grown. It has made me a better teacher, a more honest friend, and a more dedicated hobbyist. (Seriously, once I stopped caring about what other people think, my running improved and so did my writing.)

One of the biggest mistakes new teachers make? Wanting the kids to like them.

Are there times I have to compromise? Sure. I work with administration and the curriculum team and that often means interacting with teachers that aren't usually on my grade-level team. Sometimes I have to swallow my personal feelings and be nice and likable because, as someone in a mentor position, that's kind of my job.

Are there times I'm worried I'll get myself into trouble? Of course! I've definitely found my voice over the past couple years, and sometimes it means speaking out pretty bluntly about what's going on at our school or with education in general.

But I've found that I'm happier. There's a freedom to being honest. I like knowing that my integrity is intact because I refuse to just smile and make nice when something is bothering me. I feel stronger. And if it means I'm not buddies with everyone, that's okay. I don't believe in burning bridges for the sake of burning them, and I know there's a time and place to lay on the charm, but I also know the people who can handle me are totally the right friends for me.

So what had me thinking about this? I read this article the other day and it really resonated with me; it confirmed for me that the path I've chosen to take is the right one. We often silence ourselves or defer to others in an attempt to be liked, and honestly? Being liked isn't always worth it. When being liked is all we strive for, it makes us passive. I don't want to be passive. I can deal with not being liked.

I'd rather be respected.

Do you spend time worrying about whether people like you?

ABK 

Dynamic Planks & Volleyball

As runners, we know that core strength is essential to avoiding injury. "Core" doesn't just refer to abs; it includes our glutes, hips, and back muscles as well. If you find yourself slouching forward during runs, especially during long runs, your core may be in need of strengthening.

I am definitely one of those slumpy runners.

Photo evidence: totally slumped over during the last mile at Spacecoast.

Many of us turn to planks as an easy go-to strengthening exercise, but planks are fairly static. Even as we increase our time (I'm always blown away by people who can hold a plank for over three minutes!), we're still just holding there.

Definitely check out the full routine here.

I found this set of dynamic planks a little while ago and finally began doing them recently. My first impression was that they were incredibly more difficult than I expected! I was dripping sweat and panting as I went through the moves.

I completed 5 of each plank (per side in the case of the side planks) and did the entire routine twice. I think I'll build up to completing it three times.

As with any body-weight exercise, purposeful movement is key. It's important not to rush so that you're truly targeting and engaging your muscles.

My form needs tons of work, but I know it will improve as I get stronger!

I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the results of adding these planks a couple times a week to my usual workouts.

The rest of my weekend can be seen in the background: papers I graded and laundry I folded. I was very productive!

In other weekend workout news, we had our faculty volleyball tournament this weekend! Despite only practicing three times before the big day, our team held its own...

We didn't exactly win, or even place, but it was a ton of fun and we raised $1000 to send to a sister school of ours in Haiti.

I really want our team to keep meeting after school because I miss playing volleyball so much, but maybe I'll look for a Meet Up group to join if it doesn't interfere with weekend long runs.

(I took last week off from running because of all the travel/jury duty/classroom catch up/rest from Gasparilla weekend...but this week it's back to training as usual for my next half on March 15.)

 On a random note...I know quite a few of you liked Serial. Are you watching The Jinx on HBO? It's like Serial but about Robert Durst. I actually know one of the actresses who plays Kathie Durst in the reenactments (she's my best friend's sister), which is why I started watching, and now I'm hooked.

I had seen the movie All the Good Things about Robert Durst a couple years ago and find him really intriguing. This documentary is super creepy, and Durst himself sat for interviews throughout the series. He's a truly unsettling character.

How's this for a totally random post?

Do you do planks?

What is your favorite sport to play besides running? (Can you "play" running?)

Do you like the true-crime genre?

ABK

Running & NEDA Week

On my work trip to Miami this week, a colleague told me (after watching me polish off a gluten free pizza and pizookie) that she was relieved to see me eat so much because I usually "eat like a bird" at lunch time. (To clarify, if I eat too heavily at lunch, I have trouble functioning during my afternoon classes.)

Anyway, this reminded me that this week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. 

This issue strikes close to home for many reasons. As a teacher of adolescents, I am particularly attuned to the kind of pervasive body-shame language in our culture, especially among young people. As a woman, I'm all too aware of the negative way we talk about food, diets, fat, and body shapes. As a runner who frequents running forums, blogs, and websites, the discussion of orthorexia and over-exercising comes up at least weekly. 

And that's to say nothing of the many men and women I care about who have struggled with eating disorders themselves.

Kristina wrote a really wonderful post this week that breaks down some of the common misconceptions about eating disorders. I'm not planning to get into all that; her post is pretty perfect and I urge you to read it for more information. (Or go to the NEDA website here.)

What I do want to touch on is that, like many mental illnesses, we tend to try to sweep eating disorders under the rug or gloss over them, as if they're not a serious illness. We as a culture have a bad habit of commenting on and congratulating weight-loss when we should be focusing on positive changes in healthy lifestyle habits. We glorify weight-loss and see it as the ultimate signifier of health.

I don't want to get preachy or offer unsolicited advice or help that I'm not qualified to offer, but I am going to repost my own story...It's a good reminder to myself about how far I've come and how much better my life is now, and maybe it will help to shed some light for others as well.

When I Had A Thigh Gap

 (Originally posted 24 April 2014)

Today, I overheard a group of my female students discussing diets and lamenting over the fact that they don't have a thigh gap. I thought this trend was on the way out, but apparently I'm just not frequenting the seedy parts of the internet these days.

I told them their discussion depressed me; they're too smart to care about something so trivial, especially because their bodies will be changing drastically in the next few years, and because at least one of these girls is a runner. I assured them that thigh gaps have more to do with bone structure anyway.

But this all got me thinking about those days when I was too-too thin and my thighs didn't touch.

When I had a thigh gap, I had...

Really low self-esteem. No number was low enough. I hated myself everyday.

Hair loss due to malnutrition.

Brittle nails because...well, see above.

Mood swings and a short temper. I was constantly hungry, which meant I was constantly angry and upset.

Memory and focus problems. Days went by in a fog most of the time.

Terrible skin. Drastic dieting led to dry, thin skin.

Trouble socializing. I was too focused on how I looked and whether I would have to eat in front of people to even bother making an effort.

A relapse into clinical depression. I think this one doesn't need much explaining.

My thighs touch these days. They are strong, muscular, and powerful. They push me through long runs, up hills, across finish lines...They make me feel confident. They make me feel like a woman. They make me feel proud of my body.

These thighs helped me PR my last half marathon [at the time of the original post], and I'm damn proud of them.

The thigh gap seems to be, to this generation, what the magical number on the scale was to me back then. But of course, when I hit that number, I never felt satisfied. If anything, the less I weighed, the more I hated myself, because I still didn't look how I wanted to look. (Body dysmorphia will do that to you.) Obtaining a thigh gap might seem like it will be the moment of victory to these girls, but I know - as do so many others who have been there - that it's just the lid off the first can of worms.

I will never have a thigh gap again, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Can you relate?

Share: why is life better when you're not obsessing over your body?

What would you say to young girls struggling with their bodies?

ABK

First, Running Saved Him

Matt and I spent last Friday enjoying a legitimate date night. We had dinner at one of our favorite Thai/sushi restaurants, spent some time browsing Barnes & Noble, and then saw Unbroken.

I was looking for a running calendar and found the most perfect one EVER.

I have the book on Kindle and have started reading it (FYI - it's AMAZING), but this post is about the events of Louis Zamperini's life as depicted in the film. (I'm not going to review the film itself in depth, so I'll just say this: while I felt some of the scenes and transitions were a little awkward, the movie was successful in creating poignant, intense moments. It kept me engaged and was definitely enjoyable and inspiring.)

Obviously Zamperini's story isn't all about running, but the role that running plays is integral to the story's outcome.

...in a nutshell.

First, running saved him. Zamperini was the child of Italian immigrants who struggled to find his place in America. He was stealing, drinking, and getting into fights at a young age. His older brother introduced him to running. Pete saw it as a way to save Louis from himself, to make him more than he was, to harness some of that destructive power and energy to turn it into something good.

So many of us have turned to running for a similar reason. It was a way to test ourselves and find our limits; it's a way to learn what we're really made of. Zamperini learned he was made of better stuff; running pulled him off a destructive path and onto a better one.

Running made him strong. Zamperini learned to dig deep the way runners must. You can't run a 4:xx mile without growing through pain. Running gives us a mental and emotional strength that transcends the sport itself, and when Zamperini was stranded in the ocean for 47 days, we see that strength. When he was captured by the Japanese and endures torture and starvation in POW camps, that strength kept him alive. 

(In the ocean scenes, we also see another aspect of running: the spirit of camaraderie and teamwork. Part of that may be his military training; I can't help but think that his treatment of Mac on the raft exemplifies the best part of a runner's spirit.)

So, running saved him from a life of crime. It made him strong and gave him the knowledge that pain is temporary and can be conquered. And that knowledge saved him again when he faced the brutalities of POW camps.

Throughout the movie, you see glimpses of Zamperini's running career and you see, through the memories, that running sustained him. It taught him his value, his true strength, moral fiber, and resilience. It prepared him for a future he could never had imagined. The other soldiers in the POW camps needed something to keep them going - most of them seem to be holding onto memories of family or hope that the Allies will win the war - but it's clear that running lit a fire in Zamperini that kept him moving forward even when it seemed all hope was lost.

This movie truly captures the indomitable spirit that makes runners great. It shows what runners are made of, even though the majority of the movie isn't about running, and even though most of us will never have to endure even a fraction of what Zamperini lived through. It shows us, through his amazing ability to overcome without ever losing his integrity or his identity, what a runner's heart truly is.

If Pete had never encouraged Louis to run, would he have survived? Would he have developed the mental skills and bravery that kept him going? Beginning to run turned Zamperini's life around, and I have to credit it (at least partially) for the courageous man he turned out to be.

In 1998, Zamperini returned to Japan and carried the Olympic torch past one of the prisons where he had been held captive.

Watching greatness in running translate into strength and greatness in near-death, real-life experiences was more moving and inspiring than I had expected, and I left the theater filled with awe and more than a little teary-eyed.

Have you seen Unbroken or read the novel?

Which runners do you look to for real-life inspiration?

ABK

Sweating in the Classroom

As excited as I was to sign up for this weekend's half, I wanted to wait until I'd had a post-Ragnar run to see how I was feeling. I know that sometimes our legs feel strong enough, but then the first run after a big race is shaky.

Not so this time! Matt and I had a great evening run on Tuesday, and without even trying we pulled off negative splits with a sub-9 third mile.

Boom! I signed up for the race immediately after this run.

I added the Ragnar mask to my car. As someone who was once a hater of bumper stickers, I've got quite the collection going now.

It's like a secret high-five to other Ragnarians!

I realized this week that I forgot to post this picture and I really love it, so I'm posting it. Because this is my blog and I do what I want!

Meg, Margie, and me after our massages.

Our Spanish teacher has been doing T25 in her classroom after school, so on a whim I joined her Wednesday. Seriously, a group of teachers working out in a classroom to ridiculous music? How can cross-training get any more fun? Plus, working out at school with friends is a great way to stay accountable!

Who knows, maybe I'll finally get an 8-pack.

We did cardio and legs Wednesday, then the ab video Thursday. I'll do another run Friday, and the half is Sunday.

Hilarious. This workout is 8x harder because we laughed through the entire thing.

We don't have solid plans for birthday celebrations yet. It's a long weekend, so there may even be time to go home and see my mom to celebrate. (We share a birthday!)

In other news, remember Lauren Fleshman's infamous blog post highlighting what real bodies look like? She's at it again, presenting a challenge to women to post the photos of themselves that they hate. The photos that show them in a less-than-perfect light.

Click for the article.

The idea here is that our bodies are wonderful, strong, and powerful. They can take us great distances. They are amazing. The fact that we spend so much time hating on them is unfair. Posting unflattering photos is meant to be empowering. It to says, "Screw the beauty magazines! Look what my body can accomplish!"

So here are two of mine.

Overtaking my final kill last weekend at Ragnar.

Enjoying a nice paddle with Meg.

What's perhaps the saddest thing here is that I don't really like any photo of me, ever. I never think I look the way I "should". But my body is strong. It does amazing things. I'm grateful for the body I have, and I've learned to love it and appreciate it, even if I don't always love how it looks in pictures.

More importantly, I love it in real life.

I challenge you to join the movement.

How have your workouts been this week?
Do you like how you look in photos?
Have you ever tried P90X, Insanity, or any of those other programs?

ABK

Ragnar Relay - Miami to Key West 2014

This is too long, and I apologize in advance. If you scroll through and just read the captions, I wouldn't blame you.

As I sit down to write this, I know it will fall short. Ragnar is one of those experiences that defies explanation. If I focus on the running, I'm shortchanging the amazing emotional impact of this race; but, if I focus on the emotional impact alone, this post will meander and make no sense.

One of the women in my online running group told me, "It doesn't matter what you pack as long as you bring a positive attitude." This became my mantra for the entire race, and I think it saved my van. We were all so encouraging, supportive, nurturing, and kind to one another. I never once felt like I needed alone time. I never felt frustrated or annoyed. We had the good luck to mesh perfectly under the pressure of the race. I haven't felt this kind of bond and camaraderie since joining my sorority in college.

Packing

The food I brought. Pro-tip: bananas need to be stored in a hard box or they'll get smooshed all over and become inedible.

Two pairs of shoes and a backup running outfit were a must.

Everything fit perfectly!

Not pictured: a blanket, travel pillow, and beach towel. There's a fine line here between packing the bare minimum and making sure to have all your needs covered!

Thursday

We left for Miami in the early evening and arrived for the safety briefing just half an hour before it ended. On the road, we experienced our first taste of Ragnar as a van of men honked and flashed us as they drove by. During the ride we realized everyone in our van works in (or used to work in) education. Can you guess how we bonded so quickly?

We decorated the van in a Cracker Barrel parking lot. Ours was pathetic compared to some of the ones we saw!

That's right, Sarah. We're running ALL OF THAT!

We arrived at our hotel to discover that they hadn't realized there was a giant race in town and had overbooked. We had no rooms. 

Luckily, Kristin knows some secret codes and we were transferred to a nicer hotel for free...but we soon discovered they, too, were overbooked. Finally, we figured out a way to fit 12 women into three hotel rooms (with six in ours!) and got some rest before the big day.

This could have been a disaster, but positive thinking prevailed and none of us were the worse for wear after this ordeal.

Friday

8:00am. We're at the starting line, using the bathroom for a millionth time, quickly becoming used to the treacherous conditions that are porta-potties. (We should have kept track of how many times we used the bathroom. Our rule became: if there is a toilet available, USE IT.)

Van 1 before our 8am start. L-R: Trisha, Sarah, me, Meg, Kristin, Margie.

The starting line!

Kristin was our first runner. This was all new to us. We'd never done Ragnar before and hoped our plan for meeting each other at the exchanges worked out. We had decided weeks ago to use a GPS tracking app made for families, and it worked like a charm.

Kristin takes off!

At exchange 2, I got to meet Laura, a member of that same previously-mentioned online running group. By the time the first exchange passed, things began to flow smoothly. We now understood how to find the next exchange, meet our runner, pass the bracelet, etc.

Meg and Kristin at the exchange. This is basically how they all work.

Laura and me!

The major downfall was the heat. Our lovely Florida winter had melted into an early spring, and we dealt with temperatures in the 80s both days.

Hilariously, on our way to meet Sarah at the end of her run, we missed her because she ran faster than we could drive through traffic! (Blame the bad Miami traffic and credit her awesome speed!)

Margie running to the exchange to meet Sarah, who had been waiting there for a few minutes already.

Thursday flew by in a weird blur...The day felt simultaneously like the longest day of my life and also the shortest. It was insane how fast those six legs seemed to go.

When it was time for my first run, I barely had time to strap on my water and set my Nike+ before Trisha got to our exchange. She slapped the bracelet on and off I went! My first leg was a mere 2.7 miles, but the heat made it tough. While I killed the first mile in 9:16, I got stuck at two long traffic lights that added six minutes to my time. Still, I finished in just under 28 minutes, which was exactly where we had planned for my pace to be.

Exchange made...

...I'm on my way!

Coming in to the exchange to meet Tracey!

Tracey's on, and van 1 is done!

(Something I learned from Ragnar is that conditions may not be perfect, but sometimes you have no choice. Do I like running in 85 degree heat while the sun blasts me? No. But I did it, and I was awesome. We all were.)

After our van finished round one, we stopped at a BJs to eat. By this time we were all exhausted and hungry, but none of us ever seemed to crack under the stress. We were accommodating and understanding, and once we ate, any hint of a sour attitude disappeared. Food is magic. The handicapped stall felt like a luxurious bath-house. I "bathed" with baby wipes, changed clothes, and devoured a gluten free pepperoni pizza.

Thursday Night/Friday Morning

At this point, our van's decorations were becoming a symbol for our bodies.

Night gear: check!

Our next round began at the Homestead-Miami Speedway. We partook in some glorious free massages while we waited for van 2 to meet us.

Kristin is clearly super excited!

Yes, my IT band took two masseurs to work out. I was cool with it.

These nighttime runs were a different kind of challenge than our early runs. Kristin ran through pitch-dark urban streets and past a penitentiary. Meg and Sarah ran on a dusty, rocky canal road. Margie killed a 12 mile bridge run. Trisha ran down dark, slanted sidewalks. My 7.8-miler began just before 2am.

Meg and Sarah on the canal road.

If I hadn't had time to stop at 7-11 to pick up a Starbucks Double Shot Espresso, I would've been toast. But the caffeine set in just when I needed it, plus I got a surprise pick-me-up.

Best. Surprise. Ever.

Throughout the run, I passed vans from other teams. They cheered for and high-fived me, prompted me to overtake the runners ahead of me, and kept me going when I felt my energy waning. The feeling of fellowship and connection is indescribable.

Matt found me just in time for my second leg!

Trish and I look like robots!

At the end of my run - when I had overtaken those runners ahead of me I mentioned before - there was some confusion. Apparently our team was behind on time and we were concerned about finishing before the finish line closed. But van 1 was done, and it was up to van 2 to figure out what needed to be done.

We had other fish to fry. Margie had been throwing up since returning from her run. We had planned ahead to get a hotel in Marathon near our morning exchange with runner 12. Meg drove the rest of us, who were basically comatose, and we took desperately fast showers and passed out for a mere three hours of sleep.

This was the most brilliant thing we could ever have done. Somehow three hours revitalized us. We awoke feeling strong and pumped. Margie felt worlds better. We were looking forward to our final round of runs!

Saturday

We arrived at our final exchange much earlier than necessary. When Kristin finally got to run, she was so excited to get going she took off with a scream. She PR'd her distance and set us all off on the right foot.

Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed! Ready to rock it!

Daniella hands off to Kristin, and the final round is upon us!

Meg had volunteered to run the 7 Mile Bridge (part of a 9 mile stretch) in honor of her dad, who passed away last year. By the time she ran at 9:30, it was already cloudless and nearing 85 degrees. But she persevered and owned that bridge and came in right at the estimated time.

Sarah took off for her own 10 mile bridge run in that same heat. She never carries water, and we were worried, but as usual she showed us what an awesome runner she is by coming in under her estimated time.

Margie's final leg was four miles without van support (we weren't allowed to stop and bring her water) but by this time all sorts of vans and good Samaritans were stopping to hand water out their car windows. We were able to provide some ice water to her and some other runners.

Trisha ran her last five miles to meet me for my final leg; it was a virtual exchange, so when I saw her across the street, I just bolted. I was so hyped up and ready to get it done.

I would've liked my entire run to be this shady. No such luck.

Excited and ready to go!

Some more of my view as I came to the halfway point.

I plowed through my first mile at an 8:58 pace, ignoring the heat. When my path turned onto US-1 and I was running on asphalt, the only thing distracting me from the baking heat was the simple truth that the faster you run, the faster it's over. I couldn't let my team down. I dug deep to keep my pace fast.

Cackling.

As I neared the exchange, I saw the woman in front of me dancing and waving her arms at her teammates; she thought she had finished and was golden. I knew, in that moment, that I had to catch her. I stealthily closed our distance. I stalked her like a puma. When I was within sprinting range, BAM! I struck. I took off like a rocket, grinning maniacally, and finished to shouts of, "How is that even possible?!" from my teammates.

We did it!

106 kills total, baby!

Placing the final check-mark.

Matt had made it to the finish there, too. We took photos at our final exchange number and trekked back to the van. I was elated. I had done it. I had run all three of my legs, given it my all, and accomplished something insane.

We all did.

Friday Evening

After some deliberation, we went to eat before changing. We had drinks and lunch at the Conch Republic in Key West, then found our hotel (an adorable old house called Courtney's Place) and got ready for the finish line.

A much-deserved margarita to celebrate!

We survived!

Shuttling to the finish!

We met van 2 at the finish in perfect timing to meet Daniella as she finished her last leg and led us through the archway. We were Ragnarians!

Girls Gone Miles brings it home! 198 miles, done!

We placed 6th out of 12 in our division and the race took our team just over 34 hours.

Adding my name to the wall.

Sarah and Meg sign the wall.

The whole team! R-L: Kristin, Lisa, Margie, Daniella, Sarah, Shannon, Chelsea, me, Mari, Tracey, Meg, and Trisha.

Glowing!

Van 1, feeling good!

We made it!

Cute.

Hooray!

We had dinner at Burgerfi, took photos at the 0-mile marker, and collapsed into bed. I'm not sure who those people are that can really party after Ragnar, but we weren't it. We were wiped!

Final Thoughts

It's amazing how the smallest things can make your day. Gas station coffee...Honking at a runner to encourage them, and then realizing belatedly they're not running Ragnar...A perfectly timed comment that sends everyone into hysterics...Discussion of how to pee while running...Becoming "bona fide serial killers"...Off-roading in a mini van...Walking around with rolls of toilet paper and asking to bum some from complete strangers. (Seriously, where else but at races do you see this?!) Hearing, "Good job, Runner!" from dozens of strangers...Watching your teammates cry from happiness and pride, embrace bloody feet, and sharing in someone's greatest accomplishment...Realizing in the middle of my late-night run that I had trained for this exact situation, with a 3-miler back-to-back with an 8-miler...Seeing Matt on my longest leg.

Ready for some deep thoughts? Here we go.

The point of Ragnar is to see how far you can push yourself, to overcome, to be strong. Giving up because you're tired isn't acceptable. That's the whole point. You run. It hurts. You finish. You don't die. You realize how strong you are.

You do it for the team.

On my last run, as my legs threatened to buckle after so little sleep and so many miles in such a short time, it wasn't the promise I had made to myself that kept me going. At least, it wasn't that alone. It was knowing that my team needed me to leave it all out there for them. I felt responsible for them. I wanted to give them my best and make it count.

Staying positive is key.

I am filled with gratitude and love for every person who helped me get to this point. I can't put into words how much the encouragement of my family and friends has bolstered me and helped me to realize that I've done something great here. (And yes, I know just how lucky I am to have a husband who will drive 5 hours to the Keys to catch brief glimpses of me during a race.)

I was worried Ragnar might burn me out, but to the contrary, I'm actually more motivated than ever. My legs feel amazing. I am so ready to run my half this weekend to celebrate my birthday.

I can't wait to do another Ragnar. Maybe I'll even do the ultra next time. If this sounds even a little bit interesting to you, I can't urge you strongly enough. DO IT.

ABK