Dear Dr. G

Dear Dr. G -

This time last year, you performed bilateral fasciotomies on my lower legs to relieve my chronic exertional compartment syndrome. Before coming to you, I saw two doctors. The first seemed clueless and unmotivated to solve the medical mystery of the tightness and pain my calves. The second told me to give up on running, telling me that women always regret the scars from corrective surgery.

Words cannot express the gratitude I have for you and your team. It meant so much to me that you listened when I explained my symptoms, that you were eager to treat me, and that your vision for my longterm recovery was the same as my own. You never tried to talk me out of surgery. You never suggested that my passion for my sport mattered less to me than few cosmetic abnormalities would. Your goal to was help me run again.

These days, I am running again. The fact that I am seeing my old paces and distances just one year post-surgery is astounding, especially because I spent such a long time sidelined before I met you.

I am not a competitive runner. Maybe that's why other doctors weren't pressed to get me on my feet. But I use running to manage my anxiety and depression. Running is the only form of exercise I have ever enjoyed, so it is the only one that I have stuck with. When I can't run, my mental and emotional health suffers.

There were times last year when I thought I'd never run again. That was devastating. When I say you gave me my life back when you treated my legs, I really mean it. I cannot thank you enough.

Thank you. Sincerely.

Warmly,
ABK

International Holocaust Remembrance Day (Or: Why I Teach)

Florida has many faults, especially when it comes to education, but I am proud to work in one of five US states that has mandatory Holocaust education built into the curriculum.

From Wikipedia. Here is our very wordy "standard" for teaching the Holocaust. For once, Florida got it right.

Every January, I scrounge the news for new things to add. There's always something: an aged Nazi, discovered after all these years, that people feel conflicted about putting on trial; graffiti on a Jewish cemetery; rising anti-Semitism in Europe. There are feel-good stories, too, but only on days like today - International Holocaust Remembrance Day.

I undertake this unit with the gravity it's due, and I am never disappointed in the change I see in my students afterward. This year, I had my friend Brittany (who has worked for a decade with refugees in war-torn countries and who has studied the Holocaust and visited the death camps in Poland) come speak to my students to help introduce the unit.

We walked through the timeline of events. We discussed how and why Hitler was able to obtain power. And we took our annual visit to the local Holocaust Museum. We are very lucky - old people retire to Florida, and those old people include survivors of the Holocaust. The museum was started by 7th grade students as a project, and now it's filled to bursting with genuine artifacts and photos donated by those survivors. Many of them come to speak to visiting classes.

Students listening to the toured section of their trip to the museum.

Every year, we hear at least one survivor speak. In 2014, a survivor named Abe Price shared his testimony with us (he was truly the gutsiest man I've met - his story of escape and survival is awe-inspiring), and he passed away two weeks later.

We were the last school he ever spoke to.

My students, grief-stricken, organized themselves, convinced their parents, and - without my knowledge - attended his funeral. They did it on their own. I still choke up thinking about it. They made me so proud.

You can read about Abe's story here. It's truly amazing.

This year, my kids had the chance to hear two speakers: Jacques and Sabine van Dam, who were both children in hiding at the time of the war. Jacques avoided capture; Sabine and her family were discovered and sent to a transit camp. From there, her parents were sent to Auschwitz, and then on to Bergen-Belsen, where they did not survive.

Here is Jacques's story.

And here is Sabine's.

It's hard to look at 8th grade students and know if something has impacted them. They usually initially hide any emotions with bravado and off-color jokes. The day after the trip, I gave them ten minutes to write a reflection of their visit to the Holocaust Museum, and I allotted twenty minutes to discuss questions and reactions.

In all my blocks, we spent our entire 90 minutes talking.

This is why I teach. I see the dawning realization in these young people that the world is cruel, and that they have the power and responsibility to fix it. To make it better for the future. Their absolute confusion about how people can be so ignorant and hateful is refreshing.

All of this is a lead-up to our reading Elie Wiesel's Night and watching various survivor testimonies. All of the instruction is linked to reading, but it's about so much more than that. It's about helping students to become empathetic, tolerant citizens.

I see it everyday. It makes me realize the world isn't all bad.

I know we see so many terrible things in the news these days, and we're facing a terrifying election season this year, but I truly believe our young generations are so accepting and progressive that we really do have a bright future. So the silver-lining of teaching about such a difficult, painful topic? I get the satisfaction of watching them learn and grow and think and question, and I get to see the hope for our future right in front of me every single day.

It truly is a gift.

ABK

Spectating Disney

There is, honestly, nothing better than being there to watch a friend accomplish something totally amazing. To watch them overcome obstacles, stretch their limits, and realize their true abilities.

Okay, maybe there is something better...feeling like you had a hand in helping them to get to that life-changing moment is pretty freaking great.

Kristin's first marathon left me feeling awed and inspired. I was moved to tears throughout the day and was so humbled and grateful to be a part of it. In a way I feel guilty that being there for Kristin's big day gave me so much joy because really, it's about her success and victory, but I couldn't help basking in the exhilaration of the day. Being there was simply one of the best experiences and memories of my running life!

Kristin pre-race, courtesy of Stephen. She looks excited and ready!

Sunday morning, I kept waking up before my alarm. I was just so excited and ready to get to ESPN's Wide World of Sports (miles 17.5 and 19.3); I had been warned that traffic would be ridiculous and that GPS directions wouldn't work because of all the road closures. My hotel was only 10 minutes from WWS, but I gave myself two hours just in case.

At WWS extremely early, sitting in my car, way over-excited.

Luckily, I had planned ahead. I had all my notes printed and marked so I knew exactly where to see Kristin. I got to WWS around 8am and listened to the DJ go through his spiel a few times. He had figured out how to recycle his material so he could be on the course for seven hours and never run out of things to talk about.

My favorite was: "How many first time marathoners do we have out here? How many last time marathoners?" (chuckle chuckle) "You say that now, but this time next year you'll be frantically hitting refresh on the Run Disney website, waiting to sign up."

Well, he's not wrong.

Runners in the stadium.

While I waited, I got to see some really inspirational things. There were cancer survivors and people running in honor of others; I saw a blind runner and his guide (both at mile 17 and at the finish line, which reduced me to tears); I saw people well into their 60s conquering the course. It's truly awesome to spectate a marathon of this size. You really do get an idea of how unique each and every story is; what brought those runners out to the start line, and what will bring them to the finish. Each story is inspiring, and I loved being there to witness it.

The weather was weird. Overcast and cool (around 70), but very humid (92%). When the sun peeked out, it was hot, but it actually felt really cold when it drifted behind the clouds. Basically, it was all the best of Florida weather wrapped up into a single day, and the overall effect was a kind of clammy, sweaty feeling.

Around 9am I made my way to our first meeting spot. I was terrified I would miss her and texted Kristin's husband a million times ("What if I'm late? What if I miss her here and at 19? I just saw the 5:30 pacer, am I too late?") like a lunatic. I honestly was so, so afraid to let her down. I knew she was counting on me.

Finally, I spotted her! I handed her a cup of ice and ran alongside her for a bit. At 17.5 miles in, she looked great! She was keeping a steady pace, but seemed to be tiring out a little bit. I reminded her that she was into single-digits - only 9 miles to go! - and that seemed to lift her spirits a little.

Runners entering WWS. You can see how gray the weather was.

I left her and darted across the park, grinning like an idiot. I got to mile 19.3 (where I had parked) and waited at what I thought would be a good place to get some pictures. There were banners for the various weekend challenges, and a few runners stopped and I took photos for them. Not long after, I saw Kristin again. I wasn't able to get pictures after all because she didn't see me in time, so I just hopped back into the race and handed off her Glukos and gum.

At this point, she was struggling. She told me she understood what I had meant by the "dark" part of the race. I did my best to shake her out of it and encourage her. Tell your brain to shut up. Your body knows what to do and is ready for this. You can do seven more miles. At that point I had to leave her, but I knew she'd see Stephen again and then the finish line would be there!

Kristin leaving me for her final 10k!

Buses were going between WWS and Epcot (the finish line) every five minutes. I found the bus parking lot and got in line; ten minutes later I was on my way to the finish.

I speed-walked through Epcot, basically pushing people aside, because the buses were pretty far from the finish and I was on a mission. I refused to miss Kristin crossing that finish line.

The most crowded finish line I've ever seen.

I went through security check to see the finish line, then decided I was too far and wanted to be on the other side. The barricades were set up so people couldn't get near the actual finish chute, and the crowd was eight people deep. But I wasn't going to let my lack of height keep me down. I wove through the crowds and found a spot on the bleachers. I stood on them so I'd have a clear view of the finish line...and immediately knew why I'm unlikely to run a Disney race.

People were crossing the line in huge groups, walking, blocking each other, stopping to take photos...It was just a cluster.

Unamused by all the people between me and my runner.

I knew Kristin's approximate finishing time because I was tracking her on my phone, so I watched the  chute like a hawk. Ironically, it was those notifications that made me miss her actually crossing the line. The alert came and I looked down to check my phone, then looked up and immediately and blindly began snapping photos, hoping I'd catch her.

Luckily, I did. Kind of.

Official time: 5:55!

(She clarified later that the last timing mat was before the arch, which explains why so many people walked through the arch and didn't seem in a rush to get out of each other's way.)

I wound my way back out of the stands and found Kristin sitting on the ground surrounded by family, and I immediately dropped down for the best hug ever. I was grinning wildly, and I kept saying, "You did it!" and she kept saying, "I get it now, I get it."

And that's it, isn't it? You really can't get it until you do it.

We took some pictures and made our way to the resort buses. Kristin and I sat together on the incredibly smelly bus and rehashed the race a bit. Listening to her talk about her experience was so rewarding.

Pure joy! 

Kristin and her support team. Check out Stephen's awesome shirt.

I hung out while Kristin cleaned up and then we had a huge, amazing lunch at the Wilderness Lodge (where she was staying) and Stephen dropped me back at my car so I could head home.

Gluten-free everything, including cornbread and dessert. Best post-race meal ever!

The highlight of the day may have been the conversation we had before lunch. Kristin, still reflecting on what she'd accomplished, said, "When you're around runners, you start to feel like everyone has run a marathon. And knowing that you had done it made me feel like it was the next logical step after running halves. So if you hadn't run a marathon, I never would have even thought about it."

To which I replied, "So you're blaming me?" and we laughed.

Then she said, "Not blaming. Crediting." And I can take that compliment and enjoy it, because it really did remind me that you don't have to be a particularly gifted runner to inspire others and help them reach for new goals - goals they may never have even considered otherwise.

And really, it felt so good to feel included in such a huge moment. I'm just overwhelmed with gratitude and joy. Kristin deserved to have a million people out on that course supporting her, and I feel so lucky that I was able to be there for her like she's always been there for me.

And now, she's enjoying a few days on a cruise with her family and hopefully basking in the glorious afterglow of finishing her first marathon. I'd say she deserves it!

ABK

Something True

I like to invite friends to my races, but I usually invite them in a totally ironic way. Look, I know spectating isn't really fun for most people, so I don't actually expect people to come watch. I especially don't expect people to come wait for my to run a race that will take 5 hours!

Once I invite people, if they agree to come cheer, I usually try to dissuade them after the fact.

So one of the things I'm most nervous for this weekend has very little to do with the race...it has to do with my buddies! I can't help feeling like it's selfish to ask people to hang out on the course to cheer me on...and I hate to think of people waiting at the finish line for me! I'm nervous to let people down by taking "too long"!

I am overjoyed that Megan and Kristina will both be running the half, and I can't wait to see them, but I already feel really guilty about cramping their style because I'll still be running hours after they finish!

Kristin is tentatively planning to come spectate, and I've tried to talk her out of it because she drove all the way to Space Coast last year with her daughter and I feel like that's more than enough, but she seems to want to come!

Kristin and Claire drove hours to come see me race, stayed the entire time, and even ran with me a little bit around mile 21!

My sister is driving up from Boca to spectate, too! She was supposed to work but traded the day to someone else so she could be there.

And there are a couple other maybes from friends who are going to come if they can.

I feel totally humbled by all this support. I have never been someone who toots my own horn or asks for recognition, especially for something I'm barely mediocre at. In a way, I don't feel deserving of these kinds of friends or this kind of friendship.

I am just so incredibly lucky. I hope I can make them proud!

Do you invite friends to spectate your races?
Do you ever feel this way?

ABK

Mother's Day & Sacrifice

Today you're going to see a lot of blog posts dedicated to the "best mom in the world"...And why shouldn't you? Those of us who are lucky enough to have supportive, loving, funny, strong moms should be singing their praises! 

I was seriously a lucky girl to have not only the best mom, but also the best grandma!

My mom is the best mom in the world for roughly a billion reasons. As I look back on this past year, I recall her unwavering support as I trained for and ran my first marathon. It would be a lot to ask of someone to drive across the state and follow me along a full marathon course with a sign, smiling all the while...and I didn't ask. But she did it anyway! And after that race, as if cheering me on wasn't enough, she bought me the skirt that I'll probably wear to run my next marathon. After seeing yesterday's post about training plans, she offered to purchase an upgraded plan for me, if that's the direction I choose to go in.

Mom (and Matt) at the Space Coast Marathon, waiting for the next chance to cheer me on.

As a kid, I looked up to my mom because she was smart, funny, and not afraid to be herself. She was the role model every young girl should be lucky enough to have!

Mom doing our favorite bit ("Do I have something in my teeth?") while Stephie and I mug for the camera.

Now, as I stare down 30, she is still my biggest cheerleader, but also an invaluable friend. I couldn't ask for better.

Cheering me on at the Rays game where I threw out the first pitch.

I want to say something, too, to those women who are mothers but aren't my mother. (You can't all be that lucky.)  Moms are expected to sacrifice a lot for their kids. Their bodies, their time, their money...many women face the difficult choice of leaving the workforce to stay home with their kids. (The US doesn't make that choice particularly easy, either.) I don't want to be a mom myself, but I'm not blind to the work and dedication that goes into it.

Maybe due to this narrative of sacrifice - that mothers should sacrifice and be happy about it - most moms I know feel guilty when they take time for themselves. And that carries over into guilt about running. I have had the privilege to run with so many awesome, strong moms, and nearly every one has expressed some sort of guilt about the time running takes away from their families.

"Thank you, Mommy, for taking ownership of your life. You inspire me. I want to be like you." They are watching you, Mom. More than you know. <3#Moms #YourMom #FitMom #HappyMom #FitMoms #MomTime #FitFam #FitKids #MomLife #FitTribe #MyTribe #Love #Family #FamilyLife #YourFamily
Posted by Fit Mom, Happy Mom on Friday, May 8, 2015

Listen up, running moms. You are doing your kids a service by running. Not only is it keeping you sane, but it keeps you healthy, ensuring you'll be around for your kids for years to come. Perhaps most importantly, seeing healthy habits and determination teaches your kids to be healthy and determined. Kids learn by example; they will follow what you do.

So keep running. For yourself, absolutely, but also for your kids.

What is your favorite childhood memory of your mom/mother-figure?
What do you appreciate most about the mom(s) in your life?

ABK

Head Stuff

This week was emotionally draining. International Holocaust Remembrance Day was Tuesday, and as I'm currently in the middle of Night and the Holocaust unit with my students, I've been thinking a lot about it and things have been kind of heavy.

On top of that, I had my blood drawn on Thursday. Because they're running about a million different panels, the doctor took more vials than I'm used to, and I ended up almost passing out. (That's never happened before, but it was kind of nice to be given doctor-sanctioned candy.) Friday I felt sluggish all day.

Archie helped nurse me back to health after my long, weary week.

I spent most of Saturday reading Elie Wiesel's autobiography All Rivers Run to the Sea, so by the time I was ready to run, I was feeling pretty melancholy. Because of the blood draw, I hadn't run in a few days, and the longer I take off, the harder it is to motivate myself to go.

I decided to go to the park and run the loop there. I wanted to be able to just zone out without thinking about my route or my mileage. 

I ended up doing a 5k; I loved not having a set mileage in mind.

I put on the music I wanted to listen to, as opposed to the music that usually pumps me up for a run. I ran the loop over and over, switching directions every two laps to avoid any issues with my IT band. (I think the slightly warmer weather helped too.)

Some of the songs I listened to during my run.

It was a strange run. At first, I was ruminating on what I'd been reading. I felt almost disconnected from my body, but in a good way. By thinking about something totally unrelated to the run, a barrier I hadn't even known I was battling faded away. When I finished, I felt refreshed and energized in a way I haven't felt in weeks.

Post-run, feeling good.

Because of all my upcoming races, I've been in a place of I need to run X miles, and the stress of that hasn't been very motivating, especially when I've had to take time off. Being able to just run because my head needed it was liberating. Sometimes I get freaked out by the pressure I put on myself and I have to remind myself that I love running. And especially while feeling under the weather, I need to come back to basics. I run because I love it. The end.

I'm really glad that this was my last run of January; it was a good one to end on.

 How has your week in running been?

How do you balance training runs and for-the-joy-of-it runs?

Do you ever run with non-traditional music?

ABK

First, Running Saved Him

Matt and I spent last Friday enjoying a legitimate date night. We had dinner at one of our favorite Thai/sushi restaurants, spent some time browsing Barnes & Noble, and then saw Unbroken.

I was looking for a running calendar and found the most perfect one EVER.

I have the book on Kindle and have started reading it (FYI - it's AMAZING), but this post is about the events of Louis Zamperini's life as depicted in the film. (I'm not going to review the film itself in depth, so I'll just say this: while I felt some of the scenes and transitions were a little awkward, the movie was successful in creating poignant, intense moments. It kept me engaged and was definitely enjoyable and inspiring.)

Obviously Zamperini's story isn't all about running, but the role that running plays is integral to the story's outcome.

...in a nutshell.

First, running saved him. Zamperini was the child of Italian immigrants who struggled to find his place in America. He was stealing, drinking, and getting into fights at a young age. His older brother introduced him to running. Pete saw it as a way to save Louis from himself, to make him more than he was, to harness some of that destructive power and energy to turn it into something good.

So many of us have turned to running for a similar reason. It was a way to test ourselves and find our limits; it's a way to learn what we're really made of. Zamperini learned he was made of better stuff; running pulled him off a destructive path and onto a better one.

Running made him strong. Zamperini learned to dig deep the way runners must. You can't run a 4:xx mile without growing through pain. Running gives us a mental and emotional strength that transcends the sport itself, and when Zamperini was stranded in the ocean for 47 days, we see that strength. When he was captured by the Japanese and endures torture and starvation in POW camps, that strength kept him alive. 

(In the ocean scenes, we also see another aspect of running: the spirit of camaraderie and teamwork. Part of that may be his military training; I can't help but think that his treatment of Mac on the raft exemplifies the best part of a runner's spirit.)

So, running saved him from a life of crime. It made him strong and gave him the knowledge that pain is temporary and can be conquered. And that knowledge saved him again when he faced the brutalities of POW camps.

Throughout the movie, you see glimpses of Zamperini's running career and you see, through the memories, that running sustained him. It taught him his value, his true strength, moral fiber, and resilience. It prepared him for a future he could never had imagined. The other soldiers in the POW camps needed something to keep them going - most of them seem to be holding onto memories of family or hope that the Allies will win the war - but it's clear that running lit a fire in Zamperini that kept him moving forward even when it seemed all hope was lost.

This movie truly captures the indomitable spirit that makes runners great. It shows what runners are made of, even though the majority of the movie isn't about running, and even though most of us will never have to endure even a fraction of what Zamperini lived through. It shows us, through his amazing ability to overcome without ever losing his integrity or his identity, what a runner's heart truly is.

If Pete had never encouraged Louis to run, would he have survived? Would he have developed the mental skills and bravery that kept him going? Beginning to run turned Zamperini's life around, and I have to credit it (at least partially) for the courageous man he turned out to be.

In 1998, Zamperini returned to Japan and carried the Olympic torch past one of the prisons where he had been held captive.

Watching greatness in running translate into strength and greatness in near-death, real-life experiences was more moving and inspiring than I had expected, and I left the theater filled with awe and more than a little teary-eyed.

Have you seen Unbroken or read the novel?

Which runners do you look to for real-life inspiration?

ABK

Saturday Sundry

I'm spending my first official Saturday of winter break finishing grades and cleaning the house for potential guests, so today's post is going to be super random. I haven't been running this week because for some reason the week leading up to break is more exhausting than normal school weeks; I'm excited to get to run on my own terms for the next couple weeks.

So, let the random begin!

1. The lovely people at People/Target/MLB put together a 100-page, full-color photobook for this summer's All Star Teachers and mine came in the mail a little while ago. It's absolutely gorgeous and captures all the best memories from the trip. I am so grateful that they thought to do this for all of us!

2. December for teachers means sweet gifts from students. I never expect them but I definitely appreciate them. One student got me this absolutely gorgeous nutcracker. I've never had one before and it's such an original gift!

3. Still on the topic of holiday gifts, most of my students give me Christmas gifts, but one in particular this year remembered that I'm Jewish. It's a little thing that really made my day; plus, she spelled Hanukkah right!

4. If you missed it on Instagram, I finally cut my hair. I love my stylist so much; she always knows exactly what I want. I showed her some pictures and told her I was ready to chop it all off and this was the result. I was grinning through the entire cut; I didn't have even one second of remorse as six inches of hair fell to the floor.

5. I found these little snack packs of olives and am addicted. I love olives and I love the convenience of these packs. You know the theory that pickle juice is good for cramps during long races? I wonder if olives would have a similar effect. I plan on experimenting with these next time I'm training for a marathon.

I was only going to post five, but here's a bonus...I'm having a hard time finishing this post because someone decided to take a nap on my keyboard:

Do you like olives?

Share something random!

ABK

Mail Time!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who still has flashbacks to Blue's Clues upon the arrival of the mail. Anyone? Bueller?

Wow, two 90s references in three sentences. I must be in a mood.

Anyway, I'm really excited. Two amazing things came in the mail this week. The first was a post-marathon gift from my mom, as if she hadn't already done enough by driving across the state to cheer me on at a sport that, for non-runners, can be pretty boring to spectate.

After seeing so many runners in skirts at the race, she told me she thought they were adorable and wondered why I didn't run in one. I told her I had one, but it didn't have enough pockets for a marathon, and I'd bookmarked one I really wanted to get when the time was right.

She went ahead and bought the skirt I've been coveting from SkirtSports. I instantly fell in love. The skirt boasts three roomy pockets (two on the undershorts and one zippered pocket on the waistband) that are all large enough and secure enough to fit my iPhone.

I'm in love with the pleats!

 The shorts have a wide rubber grippy along the hem that keeps them from riding up even an inch, and they're long enough to prevent any kind of chafing.

Showing off one of the pockets.

Of all my shorts/skirts with rubber grips along the legs, these work the best.

The skirt fits so nicely and goes well with every top I own. Somehow wearing cute clothes makes me feel awesome during my run; I couldn't stop smiling Sunday when I took it for a test run!

 I want like...a million more of this skirt. It will definitely be my go-to for long runs from now on.

The other piece of mail that made my week was, of course, also running related! My new race decals finally arrived!

 Matt applied the stickers and I did the honors of carefully pulling the backing off. They turned out just how I waned them to!

I've been having a little trouble motivating myself to get back into a set schedule for running. I'm sure my lethargy will pass once winter break starts. Two days, people! I know I can make it!

Oh, and it's the first night of Hanukkah! So happy Hanukkah to any of my fellow MoT out there. I can't wait to have some latkes this week; I just have to decide which kind I want to make!

Click here for recipes!

Do you ever wear running skirts?

What was the last piece of mail you got that made you smile?

ABK