Freedom from Fear (and Shirts)

I've always wanted to be a runner who could run shirtless. I used to tell myself, "One day, when I'm fit enough, that will be me." My primary reason for setting this goal is that running in Florida is hot and every layer makes a difference. You wouldn't think shedding one thin, breathable layer would make much difference, but it really does. My primary reason for putting the goal off? I didn't think I looked fit enough to "deserve" to run shirtless.

Running shirtless is a topic we see a lot in summer, and a couple awesome women in the Sub 30 women's sub-group decided to host a virtual event that encouraged the ladies in our group to celebrate freedom from the shirt on the 4th of July. Men don't think twice about whipping off their shirts when it's hot out; why should we?

When this event was first announced, I decided that if I kept waiting for "one day", I'd never really feel ready. So I decided to run shirtless before I felt ready (fake it 'til you make it, right?), and since that first run I've found it easier to make it a habit. I've felt lighter, cooler, and weirdly...more free.

Real bodies; real women MOVE.

It's been really amazing to see so many strong women with a multitude of athletic accomplishments under their belts shed their shirts and embrace their bodies. I honestly can't tell you how inspired and motivated it has made me. The strength and support of other women in this movement helped me stomp that naysaying voice into submission.

The thing that stops many of us from running shirtless is that we don't think we look good enough to  pull it off. Well, who cares if you don't look "good enough"? What standards are we even using to measure what good enough means?

I'm sick of being uncomfortable when I run because of some self-created fear that people might judge me. If they don't like it, they don't have to look! My body doesn't exist for the eyes of others; it doesn't exist for their pleasure. It's a strong body that has gotten me through dozens of 5ks and 10ks, 10 half marathons, and three marathons. It supported me through Ragnar. It allows me to get up and go to work and live my life.

Looking at the women who participated in this event, it drives home the point that insecurities are rarely about what we actually look like. I don't understand why any of these women are self-conscious because I think they all look great. As they posted their photos, every comment confirmed what I felt: "You look awesome!" "You look confident!" "You look strong!" The stories accompanying the photos were full of self-realization and empowerment. 

I remembered that the flaws we see in ourselves are rarely visible to others.

You wouldn't think running shirtless would be as freeing as it turned out to be...But it is. I've wasted a lot of time hoping to someday be "fit enough" to run shirtless, and now I know that when I say women of any fitness level deserve to wear whatever they want, it applies to me, too.

I talk a lot about body acceptance and appreciating your body for what it's capable of. I need to work harder to apply that thinking to myself. Why not? For all I know, maybe people see me running shirtless and think, "If only I had that confidence."

Somedays I still feel weird about running without a shirt. I know each summer, after winter running dictates I need a shirt due to weather, this will be a renewed battle. But I also know that this kind of confidence (even if I'm faking it sometimes) is contagious, because Elizabeth has followed suit and run shirtless with me a couple times now, and that makes the discomfort worth it...because I want all women to feel comfortable enough to run shirtless whenever they want! 

If my step forward helps others get there, then that's a good thing for everyone. And I couldn't have done it without the community of women who encouraged each other to rock our bodies. Thank you for joining in and inspiring each other, ladies! And a special thanks to the women who were willing to let me share their pictures today: Meaghan, Tory, Tina, Dianne, Cathy, Candace, Patricia, Meagan, Kim, Nancy, Tovah, Kirsten, Chelsea, Steph, Honore, and Kara!

Whether you feel ready or not, taking a step outside your comfort zone is how we grow...and how we grow stronger. I'm glad I've stopped waiting for "one day" and am learning to be comfortable in my skin sooner rather than later.

Do you run without a shirt on?

What's a risk you want to take but don't feel ready to?

When's the last time you left your comfort zone?

ABK

Post-Marathon Recovery

It just doesn't seem right that I've been talking about the Space Coast Marathon as an upcoming race and then, boom, suddenly it's in the past and I'm talking recovery! I'm not ready for the fanfare to die down!

The newest additions to our medals shelves!

Luckily for me, recovery is just an extended chance to celebrate my accomplishment. I literally slept until after 12:30 on Monday, and when I finally got out of bed I was walking almost normally.

Still, after going back to work, I could tell my legs were still fatigued. I was only too happy to use that gift card Kristin gave me a few weeks ago!

Besides a big knot in the calf that seized up the most, the masseuse also found a really painful one in my lower back. Guess I need more core work!

I also had the wonderful surprise, upon returning to school, of seeing flowers from an old student of mine! She must have stopped by while I was still out and dropped them off, but the minute I saw the handwriting on the card I knew who they were from. She goes to school out of state, which makes her taking the time to think of me that much more special.

Seriously beyond thoughtful. They immediately made my first day back better!

Besides rolling, planking, and volleyball, I've been resting this week. (I do think "ready position" and volleyball-related squats have been great recovery tools!) My foot is still sore but I know exactly what's wrong with it and I know all it needs is rest, so even though I really want to run again already, I'm going to take at least a full 10 days off.

I went through the video clips Matt took of the race and pulled this adorable screenshot of Kristin and her daughter running a bit with me:

...and then Matt created a little video to commemorate the whole occasion!

Click here for the video! I can't get it to embed.

We've also ordered my new 26.2 car sticker! I didn't want to buy one beforehand and jinx anything, and I'm very picky about how my bumper stickers look so it took me a few days to decide on one. I'll be replacing my original 13.1, too, because I want a sticker for both distances but I want them to match.

This isn't my car, but those will be my stickers!

Over all, recovery is going much more smoothly than I expected. I'm so relieved that I still want to run, because I was really worried that I'd face burnout post-race, or at least the blues...but I haven't really dealt with either! (But maybe that's just because I still can't believe I ran a marathon! When will it sink in already?!)

What's your favorite method for recovery after a big race?

Do you get post-race burnout or blues?

Can you believe I ran a freaking marathon?! I can't!

ABK

Thanksgiving In Pictures

By the time this posts, I'll be in the first couple miles of my first full marathon. Holy crap. I am so thankful for all the support I've been getting as I undertook this journey. I can't believe marathon day is here! I can't believe I got through training!

I know it will take me awhile to recap everything from this weekend; in the meantime, here's a look at how I spent the days leading up to race day.This post contains entirely too many pictures and not enough substance. You've been warned!

Wednesday:

Mom had GF cupcakes waiting...as if Thanksgiving didn't promise enough sugary desserts!

 Thursday:

I woke up to a surprise from Kristina on my Kindle! Thank you so much for the hilarious distraction!

Last run pre-marathon along Lido Key...

 

...Followed by a leisurely walk through the trails while Matt finished his paddle.

Then, it was off to Thanksgiving Meal 1:

Just a little nibble to save room for later...

Followed soon after by Thanksgiving Meal 2:

Mom makes gluten free everything, including this homemade French silk pie.

Then, it was time for games and quality family time.

Steph, Gordon, and Zach...Gordon's looking sneaky and Zach seems to really be concentrating on the question.

Dad's facial response to my directive: "Pretend you like her."

Sister selfie.

Cards Against Humanity after mom & dad had retired for the night.

Archie was loving the chance to hang out with different people!

Friday:

Thanksgiving dinner at Matt's mom's means roast beef and more games!

The race was weighing heavily on my mind...I was sure to hydrate well all day.

Archie loves playing games with us.

Tiny, perfect dessert.

Phew! Our trip home was exhausting but full of really good "fuel". I think I carb-loaded pretty much perfectly this week!

How was your Thanksgiving?

ABK

An Attitude of Gratitude

The Space Coast Marathon is right around the corner! Truth be told, I'm feeling pretty good. Despite having to take almost a full week off due to illness and not running a long run in about two weeks, I feel a sense of quiet certainty that I will cross that finish line. My goals (which I've kept private) have changed a bit due to my sickness and the weather, but I absolutely know I'll be a marathoner come Sunday.

This Thanksgiving, I'm giving thanks for the amazing, unconditional support of my family and friends as I tackled training. They have had to sacrifice right along with me, and they did it without grumbling or whining. (I think I backed out of plans approximately 100 times during this training cycle and everyone was incredibly understanding.)

Social life? What social life? If you don't run, I probably didn't spend much time free with you over the last few months.

 I'm grateful for the roof over my head and the pillow beneath it. I'm grateful for my job, my students, and my colleagues. I'm grateful for my health; I'm particularly grateful that this damned cold is finally gone.

I'm grateful for my legs.

You all have probably seen this amazing video making its rounds on the internet this week. If not, take the time to watch it. It's worth it.

(Full story here.)

Things like this remind me that I ought to work on my gratitude. I'm not a natural runner, and I do have things working against me, but I'm not overcoming anything as debilitating as MS. Not even close.

I love when ESPN focuses on uplifting, motivating, beating-the-odds videos for any sport, but especially running. Today, I'm asking that if you have a favorite motivating video that comes to mind, you drop a link in the comments.

I'm looking forward to watching them Saturday evening!

What are you thankful for this year?

ABK

Something Old, Something New

Tuesday's recovery run was the perfect example of why "recovery" means "easy pace". I took Sunday and Monday off after my 15-miler and my legs felt amazing, but after two miles Tuesday they were wobbly as hell.

Wet phone = melty runfie.

I guess as awesome as my legs felt, they were still a little tapped from the long run. At least the view was pretty, and there was a nice drizzle.

Anyway, I'm super excited for this weekend. Tonight I picked up my race packet for Sunday's race and seeing the medal on display and getting my bib just reminded me of how much I love racing.

It's been since April that I've raced, and part of me has been thinking I'm kind of over it. I had to skip a bunch of my usual fall races because we've been trying to spend wisely, and I don't really mind making that sacrifice.

But wow, am I excited to toe the starting line twice this weekend!

The something old race is the Sanibel 10k I've done twice before (in 2012 and 2013). I love the route and the cause. The something new race is the Rocktoberfest 10-miler. I've never run a 10 mile race before (the 15k I did last year was close I guess), so it's not only a new race, but also a new distance...automatic PR, right?

This may be the lowest bib number I've ever worn...and it's my lucky number, too!

More than 50 members of the Sub-30 Club are in PA for the Runner's World Festival. I couldn't make it this year, but luckily someone had the bright idea to send flatties in our places. Flat!Ali is already enjoying pho and good company thanks to Patricia!

Apparently Flat!Ali can eat gluten. Lucky.

I also picked up a belt to try out over the next few weeks before the marathon. I'd like to be able to put my phone in the belt and have room for Gu...I've been chafing under my armband and the velcro is giving up, too, so I definitely want to avoid wearing it for like...six hours of running.

On a different note, this week has been rough...not running-wise, but work-wise. Sometimes I just feel like I'm missing the mark. Once in awhile, especially when report cards loom, all I can think about is sleep. (Yes, quarter 1 ends Monday. Isn't that crazy?!) This is a candid Matt took the other night:

I'm literally asleep and Archie is sleeping perched on my eyeball.

When Matt showed me this I nearly died laughing. I was so exhausted I fell asleep and stayed asleep for over an hour with the light on and the bird on my face!

After a couple good nights' sleep, some wine, and an incredibly therapeutic bridge run with Kristin, I'm feeling much better.

When is the last time you raced?

 What's the weirdest place/position you've slept in?
What makes you feel better after a rough week?

 Photos of you sleeping: cute or creepy? I'd say creepy 99% of the time but this one is acceptable because it's really more of Archie than myself.

ABK

"I'm housebreaking a tornado."

With only a quarter of 2014 left, I had to take a look at my resolutions from last year. I've had to readjust some due to moving and our finances, but one I let fall by the wayside simply due to laziness is cross-training. So Friday I forwent my usual after school nap and worked out with a couple teachers instead.

Arms and core...my armpits are killing me!

This week, I downloaded Matthew Inman's (better known as The Oatmeal) new book The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances. If you're unfamiliar with The Oatmeal, it's a website of informational/hilarious comics. Inman writes and draws them all; he also runs marathons and ultras. This book is a collection of comics - some already from the website and some new material - about his experiences with running.

I was crying/laughing my way through it; there are also some poignant moments that made me pause and go, "Yeah, I get that."

One such page from Inman's book.

 I think reading it just before my medium-long run was a good idea; today's run was easy. I mean, 9 miles is never easy, but my head was in the right place for it. And I had great company.

I know some of you up north are starting to see wintery weather; we're due for a cold front Sunday!

It was 79 when we started, and 75 when we finished!

Kristin met me just after mile 1 and stayed with me until mile 8. We chatted the entire time; good companionship can seriously make the run.

It sprinkled on us at mile 4. We paused at the park so I could eat a Gu and get a drink. It's so nice to not have to carry water or wear a belt when I'm running this particular route.

I highly recommend this flavor!

My new strategy is to not carry water if I can help it; instead I've started experimenting with hydrating really well the day before and sucking on hard candy during the run to keep my mouth from feeling dry.

So far, these have been working!

After Kristin left me, I finished my run with a smile on my face. We kept the pace nice and even. I couldn't have asked for a better recovery-miles week.

Mile 9, feeling fine!

 Of course, I treated myself to a nice breakfast after the run. 

Eggs over-easy and a waffle. Yum!

(Usually I'd be fasting today for Yom Kippur...this is the first year since 1999 that I haven't. Last year I fasted and moved my long run to Sunday...of course I was exhausted and depleted and nothing good came of that. I've missed too much training this year; I decided not to fast, but it wasn't a decision I made lightly.)

On a final note, Kristina's first marathon is TOMORROW! Head over to her blog and leave her a comment...she's worked really hard and is going to kick serious tuchas!

How do you like your eggs?

Do you eat candy on the run? Any recommendations?

Are you experiencing wintery weather yet?

Wishing good luck and speedy legs to everyone running the PDX Marathon tomorrow!

ABK

 

Be Proactive

After my last post, I've been thinking a lot about paces. I secured my first PR for a half marathon by running four days a week broken down into three four-milers and one long run.

I got my most recent half PR by training for a bigger race (Ragnar) and running on tired legs but with a renewed sense of accomplishment and confidence.

So what matters more, the mileage or the attitude?

This was my plan just a couple weeks ago.

My training plan right now only calls for three runs a week. I feel like my mileage is so low for marathon training. I don't want to add a fourth run a week because I want to avoid injury, and I think three runs cut out any "junk" miles. (I don't believe in junk miles unless I'm training for something specific. Sometimes we just want to run!)

Anyway, after reflecting on Saturday's super slow long run, I reassessed my training and realized I've been neglecting my speedwork. And what better time to rectify that than now? I've decided to be proactive about my finishing-after-the-line-closes fear and be more diligent about my speedwork.

A post-run dip in the pool, complete with Matt's iconic pirate face.

Monday Matt joined me for my golf course run. It's become my go-to for my shakeout runs after a long run. I love the silence and the openness of the course. I don't have to have it planned out; I can just run until my legs feel done, then run home.

Wednesday called for 400 repeats.

Wednesday I put my money where my mouth is and did my speedwork. I was going to run the parking garage but after Nessa posted about 400s, I had an urge to visit my loop in the park. I warmed up with a mile on the street, then did 400 repeats on the circle. They felt amazing.

I've shifted back to evening runs during the week because I need the extra sleep; I'm really enjoying shedding the day's stress at night, but I do miss the convenience of morning runs.

By the time I finished, it was so dark on the track (it's not lit) that I couldn't tell if the critter that crossed my path was a rat or a really tiny, fast possum.

I was beyond excited to end the week with some quality girl time. Some of the Girls Gone Miles Ragnar team met up for dinner Thursday night. It's so hard to schedule a time when we can all be there, but I'm trying to make it a monthly thing. 

Naples Flatbread is the best...I had the Spinarti (artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes, spinach, garlic, mozzarella, and a balsamic reduction sauce) on gluten free crust.

It's seriously so uplifting and fulfilling to spend time with women you respect and love and who get running!

I wore heels all day to take some pressure off my left heel, which hurt after speedwork. Worked like a charm.

I'm looking forward to working on my arms Friday and a shorter long run Saturday. I finally feel like I'm embracing training and enjoying it again. The last couple weeks have made me really happy, despite (or maybe because of) how tough they've been.

What do you think matters most for speed: training or attitude?

What's your favorite pizza topping? 

 Have you ever worn heels to make your feet feel better? This was a first for me!

ABK