Weight Loss & Intermittent Fasting

I went back and forth on posting this for awhile. The thing is, anytime I talk about weight or body image, I feel like I'm inviting people to roll their eyes at me. I know I weigh less than the "average" American woman and wear smaller sizes. I know that it's not "in" to care about your weight and what you look like. But the truth is, we all have our optimal bodyweight and size where we are happiest, and this is my blog so...I'm going to post about it. This post isn't about anyone else's size or body but my own, and just because I have hangups about mine doesn't mean I'm judging people who look different than I do.

If you want to roll your eyes, that's fine. No one's forcing you to read this. But it's important to me, so I'm going to write about it.

Since mid-June or so, I have been practicing some form of intermittent fasting, specifically a modified "Leangains" method.

Source

Here's the thing: I don't really believe a lot of the hype around IF health benefits, but I have noticed some anecdotal pros to eating this way for myself personally.

Source
Honestly, this all sounds fake to me.

I first started IF because in the summer I sleep pretty late anyway, so waiting to have breakfast until after 10am came naturally. Because I'd already been following a heathier diet since late May and had already seen some results, I decided to make the whole "late breakfast" thing more purposeful. I had already been "dieting" (for lack of a better term) for two weeks and had lost two pounds when I started.

Matt and I tend to finish dinner around 9pm, sometimes later in the summer depending on when I get home from my runs. I've pushed breakfast back to 12pm, although some days I'll eat an hour earlier or later depending on how I feel. I'm not being very strict about the whole thing. Surprisingly, I've discovered I can run on an empty stomach in the morning without any problem, too.

The payoffs I've personally seen are:

1. I don't feel hungry when I first wake up. 
2. I'm not dealing with nearly as much bloating as I usually do. 
3. I'm drinking more water (and tea).
4. I've been able to continue my weight loss and maintain my new weight, which until just recently was my "steady weight" that I'd been at for literally 10 years.
5. When I have a day of overindulgence - like that weekend in Captiva when I ate donuts and cupcakes Steph brought from Parlour Bakery and then had a huge serving of coconut ice cream - it's much easier to get back to healthy eating without feeling like I've derailed all my progress. 

I've mentioned in a previous post, briefly, that I successfully lost about six pounds this summer and have honestly felt like an entirely new person. I had really resigned myself to the whole "when you hit 30 your body just changes" thing, which is probably partially true, but I'm feeling more energized and confident than I have in awhile. 

I was so unhappy when I ran the SUP & Run 5k because my skirts weren't fitting and I just felt sluggish and awful. It was that weekend that I decided to change my eating habits, and I've been really successful. Adding some semblance of intermittent fasting has helped me stick to those new eating habits.

Here is a "before" picture - it was taken a week after the SUP & Run race and I had already started eating healthier.

It feels really, really good to be back to my usual weight and for all my clothes to fit again.

Now, all these positives could obviously also just be due to eating more balanced, healthy meals and cutting way down on junk food and mindless snacking, but I think it's a combination.

I can see a difference, even if it's slight, and I feel so much better and more confident.

I'm hoping that as I transition into the school year (I go back today!), I can keep this habit up. It'll make my morning routine much faster, so I'll get more sleep, and I'll be able to continue to see the positive results.

Right now, this is working for me. It feels sustainable physically and mentally. If it stops working, I'll change it up. And that's that on that.

ABK

TOL - Just Some Things

Today I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons to share some random thoughts.

1. More kitchen stuff! Our kitchen island came! I spent over four hours putting it together all by myself. It was a pain because the instructions weren't clear about which way certain boards had to face, so I ended up taking it apart and starting over twice.

I insisted on building this all alone and it SUCKED but now I feel like I can do anything!

But it's gorgeous! I built the doors and drawer and lifted the granite top (which is real granite and so freaking heavy) and everything! I was pretty proud.

It was really hard to get a good angle in these photos but you get the idea!

I've already used it to prep breakfast and dinner and I'm so glad I finally decided to just jump in and buy one - Matt and I had debated getting an island for months but it was definitely the right choice. 

2. Self-love. This week I realized how far I've come in the "body acceptance" area of my life. Like, I've finally gone from "acceptance" to full on embracing my body.

Instagram always brings up a lot of fitness accounts when I'm scrolling through searching for new people to follow, and often that means "fitspo"-type posts come up. Looking at some of those photos this week, I found that I wasn't comparing myself to IG accounts of perfectly fit or impossibly thin women.

I've spoken only briefly of it in the past, but I've dealt with disordered eating and I was surprised and proud to see that my mindset has finally naturally shifted away from wanting a waif-like body. (Some people are naturally waif-like, and that's fine, but that's not me.) I've never been happier with where my body is and what it's capable of, and it felt really good to avoid that comparison trap completely without having to consciously readjust my mindset.

3. RUNNING! Getting four runs in last week, even if our "long run" was shorter than planned, felt so good. I told Elizabeth after one of my two runs in late December that my body and mind felt good after running even if my legs didn't - I forget how important running is to my over-all wellbeing. I am so, so happy to be running again.

It feels great to be back!

Elizabeth raised a good point when so many people teased us for wearing long sleeves on our run Sunday...It literally goes from 80+ degrees to 50s overnight in Florida. We never acclimate to winter properly because the temperature drops 30 degrees without warning! That makes me feel better about how cold I felt!

4. Conversations on the run. While running one afternoon, Elizabeth and I received a few more honks than usual. (One of them was very encouraging and called out, "Keep it up, girls!" but the rest were just obnoxious as usual.)

We'd been having a normal running conversation, but eventually I couldn't ignore how strange it was that we'd received more honks during this one run than on the last dozen combined.

Me: "I wonder if we look really good right now, or if we look like we're dying and need to be woken up. Or if they think this is our New Year's resolution and they're trying to encourage us?"

E: "I wonder if they'd honk at us if they knew we were talking about poop."

I died laughing. Seriously! I imagine the people who honk and catcall would be pretty surprised if we turned around and told them we'd been talking about how running wreaks havoc on your intestinal tract.

We joked a little bit about maybe getting shirts that say WE'RE TALKING ABOUT POOP on the back so drivers have fair warning. It might make a good deterrent!

5. Candids. And, just because, here's an outtake from our workout picture from Monday. An old student had stopped by as we finished up, so he took the photo, and we were joking around about how we should pose.

Me: Let's look really sad that our arms hurt now. E: You are a dork.

What are some random things going on in your life this week?
Have you ever built furniture? (IKEA counts!)

ABK

I'm Not Losing Weight

For nearly four weeks now, I've been logging all my food into MyFitnessPal. I used MFP for about two weeks a year or two ago when I needed to be a little more mindful, but soon stopped because I didn't like how obsessive I was getting.

This time is different. Even though MFP forces you to count calories, I've been using it as a glorified food journal and basically ignoring the calorie count. Am I eating mindlessly? Am I eating a handful of fun-sized chocolates when I could be eating grapes or peanut butter on carrots or an apple or whatever?

I'm choosing more veggies and fruits these days instead of candy, pastries, and crackers for snacks, and I'm making fresh lunches instead of eating canned soup every day. 

This exercise has done the trick, and I'd like to be able to move away from using the app and back to trusting my instincts, but I don't think I'm there yet.

I very rarely weigh myself, but I was curious to see if making smarter food choices was making a difference beyond my energy levels and stamina during workouts. My doctor weighed me at my yearly checkup in February and I weighed the same as I have since 2011. This week, I put the battery back in our scale - we never use it so we keep the battery out in case we need it for something else! - and stepped on first thing in the morning.

I weighed exactly the same as I did in early February.

Now, that alone doesn't seem that crazy, but consider this: I've been the exact same weight for five years. For awhile I was stable at one weight; then I began running and over a year or two I put on some weight (probably mostly muscle - I can tell because my thighs and butt are much curvier and stronger than they used to be), and since then I've been stable at this new weight.

I'm adding way more fresh vegetables to my dinners by sticking with what I know I'll eat - I could eat mountains of zucchini, so I've found a way to eat it almost daily instead of making something like spinach or peas, which I'll barely touch.

I'm fine with this weight and actually, being here is a relief because I know it means my body is consistent. I know I'm feeling better and I probably have more muscle now than I did even a couple months ago. But I just think it's funny and weird that my body has found equilibrium and is just so damn predictable.

I know that consistently making good choices - with some indulgences here and there - is going to allow me to keep getting stronger and feeling better, which will help me become a better athlete. That's what counts.

This has been my mantra over the last few weeks and I think it's working.

So while my new workout schedule and meal-journaling haven't altered the effect of gravity on my body, it's done something under the surface, and for once that's enough. I weigh the same, but I feel stronger, more energetic, and generally better! That's something to celebrate, and I think this acceptance is a milestone for me!

Weight and scales can be a touchy subject - do you weigh yourself? Why or why not?
Do you use a food journal or meal tracker?
What's your favorite vegetable?

ABK

Running & NEDA Week

On my work trip to Miami this week, a colleague told me (after watching me polish off a gluten free pizza and pizookie) that she was relieved to see me eat so much because I usually "eat like a bird" at lunch time. (To clarify, if I eat too heavily at lunch, I have trouble functioning during my afternoon classes.)

Anyway, this reminded me that this week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. 

This issue strikes close to home for many reasons. As a teacher of adolescents, I am particularly attuned to the kind of pervasive body-shame language in our culture, especially among young people. As a woman, I'm all too aware of the negative way we talk about food, diets, fat, and body shapes. As a runner who frequents running forums, blogs, and websites, the discussion of orthorexia and over-exercising comes up at least weekly. 

And that's to say nothing of the many men and women I care about who have struggled with eating disorders themselves.

Kristina wrote a really wonderful post this week that breaks down some of the common misconceptions about eating disorders. I'm not planning to get into all that; her post is pretty perfect and I urge you to read it for more information. (Or go to the NEDA website here.)

What I do want to touch on is that, like many mental illnesses, we tend to try to sweep eating disorders under the rug or gloss over them, as if they're not a serious illness. We as a culture have a bad habit of commenting on and congratulating weight-loss when we should be focusing on positive changes in healthy lifestyle habits. We glorify weight-loss and see it as the ultimate signifier of health.

I don't want to get preachy or offer unsolicited advice or help that I'm not qualified to offer, but I am going to repost my own story...It's a good reminder to myself about how far I've come and how much better my life is now, and maybe it will help to shed some light for others as well.

When I Had A Thigh Gap

 (Originally posted 24 April 2014)

Today, I overheard a group of my female students discussing diets and lamenting over the fact that they don't have a thigh gap. I thought this trend was on the way out, but apparently I'm just not frequenting the seedy parts of the internet these days.

I told them their discussion depressed me; they're too smart to care about something so trivial, especially because their bodies will be changing drastically in the next few years, and because at least one of these girls is a runner. I assured them that thigh gaps have more to do with bone structure anyway.

But this all got me thinking about those days when I was too-too thin and my thighs didn't touch.

When I had a thigh gap, I had...

Really low self-esteem. No number was low enough. I hated myself everyday.

Hair loss due to malnutrition.

Brittle nails because...well, see above.

Mood swings and a short temper. I was constantly hungry, which meant I was constantly angry and upset.

Memory and focus problems. Days went by in a fog most of the time.

Terrible skin. Drastic dieting led to dry, thin skin.

Trouble socializing. I was too focused on how I looked and whether I would have to eat in front of people to even bother making an effort.

A relapse into clinical depression. I think this one doesn't need much explaining.

My thighs touch these days. They are strong, muscular, and powerful. They push me through long runs, up hills, across finish lines...They make me feel confident. They make me feel like a woman. They make me feel proud of my body.

These thighs helped me PR my last half marathon [at the time of the original post], and I'm damn proud of them.

The thigh gap seems to be, to this generation, what the magical number on the scale was to me back then. But of course, when I hit that number, I never felt satisfied. If anything, the less I weighed, the more I hated myself, because I still didn't look how I wanted to look. (Body dysmorphia will do that to you.) Obtaining a thigh gap might seem like it will be the moment of victory to these girls, but I know - as do so many others who have been there - that it's just the lid off the first can of worms.

I will never have a thigh gap again, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Can you relate?

Share: why is life better when you're not obsessing over your body?

What would you say to young girls struggling with their bodies?

ABK

Why Health Screenings Suck

This post is kind of serious and kind of sad, so I'm going to throw in funny stock photos to lighten the mood. 

 

When signing up for health insurance every year, our provider has an optional health screening. If you score certain points from the screening (good blood pressure, BMI, heart-rate, etc), you can save money on your policy.

Usually I really don't mind the screenings. As someone who exercises frequently and is fairly healthy, I don't really see it as being stressful or scary. I also think it's nice to receive a benefit for being healthy.

But this year I was pretty annoyed. The problem is so simple it's stupid. I looked at the scale when they weighed me. Usually I close my eyes or I get on the scale backwards. Most women who have dealt with any kind of weight issues or disordered eating understand where I'm coming from. But this year I was pressed for time and didn't stop to think, and when I stepped on the scale, I had one of those moments of utter misery. 

The internet is fully of HILARIOUS stock images of women yelling at scales. Is this normal?! Do real women do this?!

The scale shouldn't dictate how I feel. I've come a long way from letting my self-worth depend on the number that I see there. We have no scale in the house and I literally never know what I weigh. I "monitor" my weight by the fit of my clothes; the last time I checked my weight was a few years ago, and I've assumed I'm still the same weight because I'm so short that when I gain/lose weight, my clothes fit totally differently. So avoiding hard numbers works for me.

Before this scale debacle, I was perfectly happy with how I look; all it took was one look at the numbers to make me question my confidence. That's not okay.

This is all to say that I've had an idea of what I weigh, but haven't checked in a long time, and I've been perfectly happy with my body. But, all that changed when the nurse weighed me at the health screening; the scale said I weighed almost 10 pounds more than I have ever weighed in my life.

Apparently searching "sad vegetables" brings up pictures of veggies that need to be hugged.

I immediately went into that mode of thinking, "How can I possibly lose this weight?" Logically, because my clothes are fitting me the same and I look the same in the mirror, I had a pretty good idea that most of this weight is muscle mass from my recent training. However, the illogical side of my brain was telling me that I can't possibly look good at this new weight and that I must find a way to lose it.

I know that I no longer fit some of my old favorite jeans. I also know that that's because my thighs and my butt have gotten a lot bigger and more muscular since I started running. It's also totally normal for me to not fit into the clothes I wore when I was 19. I know all this; these are things I came to terms with years ago.

But somehow, even though I was fine with all of this before I was weighed, now it matters. And the scale is to blame for that. 

I, too, resort to gymnastics to zip jeans that clearly don't fit my body.

I'm frustrated because I thought I was past the point where weight mattered. Especially because I know that I'm strong, fit, and so much more than just a number on the scale. Especially after all this training and a successful 20 mile run!

Here's the really sad part (as if this wasn't sad enough): a colleague told me later that day that she was sure the scale was seven pounds off. That's exactly how off I thought it was, too. So all this obsession and worry is for nothing, because most likely the scale was just wrong.

I wish that I could just not care. I know the bottom line is that this has taken up too much of my thought process, and that's a problem. I guess I have some stuff to work out in my head that I didn't realize I was still dealing with.

Why can't I just be carefree like this yogurt-eating, staring-into-the-distance lady?!

I wish I had a better way to end this rant. Do you deal with scale-issues?

Any words of wisdom?

ABK

When I Had a Thigh Gap

Today, I overheard a group of my female students discussing diets and lamenting over the fact that they don't have a thigh gap. I thought this trend was on the way out, but apparently I'm just not frequenting the seedy parts of the internet these days.

I told them their discussion depressed me; they're too smart to care about something so trivial, especially because their bodies will be changing drastically in the next few years, and because at least one of these girls is a runner. I assured them that thigh gaps have more to do with bone structure anyway.

But this all got me thinking about those days when I was too-too thin and my thighs didn't touch.

When I had a thigh gap, I had...

Really low self-esteem. No number was low enough. I hated myself everyday.

Hair loss due to malnutrition.

Brittle nails because...well, see above.

Mood swings and a short temper. I was constantly hungry, which meant I was constantly angry and upset.

Memory and focus problems. Days went by in a fog most of the time.

Terrible skin. Drastic dieting led to dry, thin skin.

Trouble socializing. I was too focused on how I looked and whether I would have to eat in front of people to even bother making an effort.

A relapse into clinical depression. I think this one doesn't need much explaining.

My thighs touch these days. They are strong, muscular, and powerful. They push me through long runs, up hills, across finish lines...They make me feel confident. They make me feel like a woman. They make me feel proud of my body.

These thighs helped me PR my last half marathon, and I'm damn proud of them.

The thigh gap seems to be, to this generation, what the magical number on the scale was to me back then. But of course, when I hit that number, I never felt satisfied. If anything, the less I weighed, the more I hated myself, because I still didn't look how I wanted to look. (Body dysmorphia will do that to you.) Obtaining a thigh gap might seem like it will be the moment of victory to these girls, but I know - as do so many others who have been there - that it's just the lid off the first can of worms.

I will never have a thigh gap again, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Can you relate?
Share: why is life better when you're not obsessing over your body?
What would you say to young girls struggling with their bodies?

ABK

Body Acceptance

I recently read an article that attempted - awkwardly and unsuccessfully - to promote "body acceptance". After some reflection, I think maybe the article itself wasn't the problem; my outlook is.

You see, there's a fine line between accepting your body and ignoring it. Or maybe I should say "neglecting" it. After a drastic rise in eating disorders in the 90s and early 2000s, partly (and superficially) blamed on the "heroin chic" look of models, we've finally come to a point when young women are encouraged to accept their bodies and treat them well.

This is the kind of body acceptance I can happily get behind.

And of course I'm delighted and supportive of this. Like many women - hell, like many human beings - eating disorders have touched my life in many ways. I don't write this with flippancy, and I don't take the issue lightly either.

But I am uncomfortable with the fact that suddenly any encouragement of healthy lifestyles seems to fall into one end of the spectrum or the other. We see women and men forcing themselves to exercise beyond what is necessary or deemed healthy; we also see them turning their back on any kind of self-improvement and hiding behind "body acceptance".

Should we accept our bodies? That shouldn't even be a question. Our bodies are fascinating machines; they work in ways that, to me, sometimes seem almost magical. It's mind-blowing to know the details of how our systems work to moderate our breathing, our temperature, our blood-flow, our energy...How can anyone look at the trillions of cells working in harmony to create a human body not find it miraculous?

Nature and its inner workings never fail to leave me awe-struck.

Our bodies are capable of amazing things. Running has taught me that. History has taught me that. We are physically able to do so much, and we are only here living our lives because we have a body to live in. Our bodies deserve to be treated well, taken care of, and respected. This means our bodies deserve exercise.

So why do I feel so uncomfortable with "body acceptance"? It's probably because these days that seems to be a euphemism for avoiding exercise. More and more I'm seeing this weird battle about what makes a woman a "real" woman. It started as a way to empower those that didn't fit the ideal, which is something like 95% of us. But it's become an "us vs. them" mentality. To hear the rhetoric, either you're thin, fit, and smug about it, or you're overweight, sassy, and proud.

Exactly. Whatever floats your boat, ladies and gentlemen.

Fat-shaming and prejudice is despicable, whether a person is fat due to simple inactivity and overeating or a glandular disorder. I believe in loving our bodies as they are; I also believe in self-improvement.

I believe in pushing yourself to see what you can really be. I believe in testing the paradigms we surround ourselves with in order to test and realign our world-view and our idea of "normal".

Why is this a desirable mindset?

There has to be a balance between accepting our bodies, loving our bodies, and improving our bodies.

This is the same reason I feel uncomfortable when people talk about exercise as a form of bodily punishment, as if their body is a disappointment or a wayward animal that needs to be brought to heel.

Exercise has taught me to love and accept my body, not because it has changed my body, but because it has changed my mind.

I'm afraid I've written this whole thing and have no answers for myself. How do we balance body acceptance and improvement? How do we seek to "fix" ourselves while still loving ourselves? Why does "body acceptance" have to mean neglecting making healthy exercise and food choices?

I don't think it should.

And because I believe in staying positive, and I need to remind myself that not everyone out there has such a skewed outlook on health and what bodies "should" look like, here are links to two excellent articles about bodies and weight.

The Different Body Types of Olympic Athletes

Female Bodies: A Weighty Issue

What does "body acceptance" mean to you?
What are your thoughts on finding balance?

ABK

"Diet" is a Four Letter Word

As counterintuitive as it may sound, many women begin to see the numbers on the scale increasing along with their mileage. This can be blamed on gaining muscle, but it can also be caused by being "rungry"...You know, that feeling you get where no matter how much you're eating, you never feel full?

(I am going to spruce up this post with pictures of foods I'm eating on vacation. I'm enjoying every bite of them and intend to continue enjoying food even as I more carefully monitor my choices. Because food makes me happy and keeps me alive.)

Gluten free red velvet cupcake and ice cream?! YES PLEASE.

I make it a point to never step on a scale unless my pants suddenly stop fitting. I spent too many years weighing multiple times a day, stressing about the number, and letting the results determine my mood. I've never been "overweight", but eating disorders are rarely just about weight. The scale was a powerful and cruel master. 

I'm in a place now where I'm very happy with my health, fitness, and fit of my clothes. Until, of course, I went to pack my favorite jeans for California and realized the waistband was snug. Very snug.

Animal fries from In N Out Burger? YES PLEASE.

So how do you "diet" as a woman who has a history of disordered eating? You don't.

Diets don't work. Anything that asks you to drastically change how you eat, has a cutesy name, or seems unsustainable for a lifetime of eating isn't a good choice. 

And how we eat has to be about good choices. 

A good food lifestyle and relationship should allow you to enjoy foods you like, eat socially, avoid obsession, and fuel your body.

Crab mac n cheese in a homemade gouda and fontina sauce? YES PLEASE!

For me, this means I'm going to be more true to my motto: "Everything in moderation." Moderation is key, and I need to be eating with my lifelong health and marathon in mind.

The first step to this is to find out how much I actually burn a day. You can't just go around cutting huge chunks of calories out of your daily intake. Using this basal metobolic rate-calculating equation, I'm going to spend the next few days figuring out how much over my necessary intake I'm going, and why. 

(Hint: cheese-laden and dessert-oriented fare is probably the culprit.)

How will I measure success? Why, by how my favorite jeans fit, of course! The scale is just going to have to find another victim.

Linked within the BMR article is one about fad diets, and I thought I'd share some key points. This is generally why I dislike diets. (I have no idea why these won't line up like nice little soldiers. Just deal with it.)

I don't mean to sound like a paleo-basher, but the lack of evidence in support of this diet drives me nuts.

I've ranted on this before because I'm gluten free for actual health reasons. If you're going gf because you think gluten is inherently bad, you're doing it wrong. Also, if you're going gluten free and then eating gluten free pastas and breads, you're missing out on the conventional stuff, which is cheaper and can be way healthier. Whole grains, anyone? (Gluten free breads are notoriously high in calories and low in nutritional value.)

I feel so strongly about this. If you cut out an entire food group, you're depriving yourself. What happens when you tell yourself you can't have something? You obsess. It becomes all you want. The next thing you know, you're eating pounds of that "forbidden" food and feeling like a failure.

(Don't even get me started on "good", "bad", and "safe" foods.)

I really think the bottom line here is that if you love something, you should eat it. My idea of a healthy food lifestyle is one that allows you to be social, eat what you enjoy, and fuel your body to its optimum level.

Have you ever tried any crazy fad diets?
How do you monitor your food choices?
Have you ever gained weight during periods of more intense training?

ABK