Biking Makes Me Realize...

...That I am still in desperate need of "additional padding" on my tuchus. Ouch. Also, I hate to say never, but I truly don't see a tri in my future.

I just finished Is Everybody Hanging out Without Me...And Other Concerns and was a little disappointed. Age of Miracles is already amazing and I'm barely five chapters in.

We biked to the park Monday after the race and read for a little while. The weather was just beautiful. Sometimes I'm just enamored with Florida winters!

Matt sneakily took a photo of me reading...

...And I sneakily took a photo of him. Match made in sneaky heaven, yes?

Other ways we celebrated the long weekend and a new half marathon PR?

Giving Archie some love...

He loves scratches!

Waffles for brunch...

Be jealous.

Ice and the Olympics...

My cold knees commiserated with the skiers' cold everythings.

Receiving the most hilarious and awesome birthday gift ever...

My sister knows me so well!

And finally...

Technically I signed up on my birthday, before the half, but here's my official announcement.

That's right folks. I'm giving it another go. I've heard such good things about this race, and multiple people from my Sub-30 group are running it. I'm a stronger and more confident runner than ever right now; I'm ready to keep on track and tackle a full.

Last year I was sidelined by injury; this year I will prevail!

Would you ever try a tri?
What are you reading right now?
Please tell me you've seen and love Labyrinth as much as I do! Not joking, my siblings and I have probably seen it over 100 times because it was the only thing we rented from Blockbuster (remember them?) every weekend when my parents had date night. Its soundtrack was the first CD I ever owned.

ABK

A New Plan

This far into my training, I've been following the Hal Higdon Beginner II plan for my marathon. But I've been finding that only one rest day isn't enough for me. This week, I've taken three days off because of IT band pain.

I refuse to be injured. I'm going to nurse my leg so I can complete my training successfully. But this also means I need to look at a backup plan.

I was doing some searching this week, realizing I have 11 weeks to go until race day and have pretty much decided the Higdon plan isn't working for me. I found this one from Women's Running UK.

I like it because it gives specific cross-training workouts, and it allows for more rest days and fewer mid-week runs above 5 miles.

I was unable to do my long-run Sunday because my IT band was still twingey, despite the rest this week. I've been rolling diligently, doing hip and core exercises, and wearing my most comfortable work shoes. Today it feels better, and I plan to head to the gym to test it out when this post is finished.

This weekend wasn't all a bust, though. Matt and I had a race of a different sort.

Matt on his final .1

Okay, he had a race. I got to experience what sitting in the sun waiting for a race to be over feels like.

Matt did a 5k paddle race and a 100m sprint. He placed 3rd in the 5k for his division, and 1st for the sprint!

His trophy is seriously the coolest thing ever!

I'm so impressed! It's pretty cool how similar SUP and running can be.

After the race, we traveled to St. Pete to meet some of our oldest college friends for dinner and to catch a Rays game. It was an extremely packed, wonderful weekend.

I stepped out of my comfort zone and had bacon and cheddar grits with shrimp, avocado, and tomatoes. Uh-maz-ing!

The crew after dinner.

The Rays new mascot is the cutest stingray EVER!

Enjoying the nosebleed section.

When we got home Sunday, I promptly took a nap and then graded all evening.

Wish me luck on my run tonight. I'm hoping I'm back in tip-top shape after six days off.

What is your most persistent injury?
Have you ever dealt with IT band issues?
Do you like baseball?
When's the last time you got to see some old college friends? 

ABK

What I've Learned

Well, the Runner's World summer run streak is coming to a close. It's crazy how daunting the streak seemed in the beginning, and now how short it seems in retrospect.

39 days of constant running (37 at the time I write this) has taught me more than a couple lessons. Lessons about running, lessons about stamina, lessons about perseverance, and lessons about myself.

I was uncertain how much pressure I could put on myself during this streak. I was afraid if I risked injury, I wouldn't be able to begin marathon training in July. (OMG that's this month, guys!) I was afraid if I pushed too hard or too far, I wouldn't be able to make it without a rest day.

Every. Single. Day. BOOM!

But after the first two weeks of keeping my mileage laughably low, I realized that a single mile can be a rest day. I wouldn't plan to never take a rest day during regular running/training, but on a streak like this, I found an easy mile or two after pushing myself was just what my legs needed.

I realized I'm stronger than I think. I learned that I can transcend discomfort and pain - like during the week I was dealing with shin splints before they miraculously went away - and go beyond my goal. I was ready to call it quits there, and I'm so glad I chose to keep going.

I learned I could set my goal for 3 miles and then tack on one or two more if I was careful about my pace early on.

Negative splits and an additional mile? I feel like a beast!

I learned that there is a place in this world for treadmills.

I learned that focusing on short distances for awhile can drastically improve your pace...I can now run a mile well under 9 minutes without even feeling like I'm working for it; before the streak, that was unheard of.

I learned (or relearned) that working out consistently makes me sweat like a bear. It's downright embarrassing.

Mm, nose sweat!

I learned that I have a huge group of friends - runners and non-runners alike - who are willing to cheer me on, put up with daily facebook posts, and generally pet my ego when I need it.

I learned that when I set a goal and don't want to miss it, I'll do anything, including running at nearly midnight or running through a torrential Florida downpour, lightning included.

After a full day in the airport/on planes, people!

Speaking of, I learned that a good spouse will run with you at 10pm in the pouring rain, even though he's not a runner, just because he loves you.

I learned that refrigerated towels are a luxury I don't want to live without.

This is so glorious, it needs a new word to describe it.

I learned the importance of cross-training, personal accountability, walking-the-walk, and keeping promises you make to yourself.

Mostly, I learned that the limits I've set on myself in the past were simply abstract creations that I put in my own way. If I want something, I can achieve it. Will this lesson stick with me? It's hard to say; some days you feel like Superman (or Superwoman) and can run a fast four miles without a thought, and others even two miles seems daunting.

But the more times you force yourself to face the daunting reality of...whatever...the more successful you'll become. There were days when I was too sore/too hot/too tired to do much more than a mile, but I went anyway and always felt better afterward. Eventually, you remember that, and your current discomfort makes you crave a run even more.

This may be my new mantra.

The challenging runs taught me more than anything else, because I conquered them. I finished them victoriously. The harder a run felt, the more likely I was to add some distance at the end of it, even if just to prove to myself that I am stronger than the whiny voice in my head.

We learn something from the hard runs. Life is a freaking classroom, people. I couldn't plan a lesson as flawless as this run streak.

And now, with the streak due to end in two days, I find the most valuable gift this streak has given to me was a renewed sense of belonging. I am a runner. I belong here. And I feel confident and ready to tackle marathon training. This challenge set me up perfectly to take on the next.

And when in doubt, I can now look back on countless difficult runs during these 39 days alone and think, "Hell, I can do it. I can do anything."

What have you accomplished that you never thought you could?
What has running taught you?
What is the craziest weather you've ever run in?

*If you didn't click the link for Remy's "So I Went for a Run", do it. It's so heart-wrenching and inspiring. Here it is again.

ABK

Splint Decisions

The third week of the Runner's World Run Streak has begun, and I'm going strong. Well, strong-ish. I've always had a hard time toeing that line between giving up and acknowledging that there is a more important battle to be fought.

When it comes to picking battles in real life, I'm a pro. I know what's important to me, and for the most part I know when to let things roll off my back and when to pick up a sword and start slaying dragons.

I posted this to FB in one of my running groups after Day 15 of the streak. (Can you catch the typo?)

The problem with "choosing my battles" when it comes to running, though, is that I'm not a naturally competitive person. Often, I'm more likely to back down from a daunting run than to face it head-on. Over time, I've grown to a point where I know when I'm shortchanging myself and backing down. But the run streak has really messed with my head a bit.

Here's the face of someone who doesn't know when to quit: the day after that post, I hopped on a treadmill anyway.

Weighing my looming marathon training, set to begin July 7, and this run streak, the training should come first. That means that anything that could risk injury should automatically be put on hold, right? Shin splints are clearly my body's way of saying, back off! I'm tired! You're doing too much too soon! But logically, I don't think one to two miles a day is really asking that much of my body, especially as I'm keeping the pace nice and slow (in the low 10s, sometimes high 9s).

Foam rolling and sleeping in my compression socks seemed to help a bit.

Usually, I would balk at the first sign of pain and take a nice rest for a couple days. But you see, the run streak has re-ingrained in me the habit of running. I had taken so much time off, remember? I had been burned out. I have the streak to credit for my even running at all lately! And if I want to have any base level of fitness before July 7, then I need to be running consistently.

Day 17: Today I tried my luck in another pair of shoes, but nothing much changed there.

So here I am, at a crossroads. Quit the streak, take a rest day or two, then go back to running normally and hope I don't lose the motivation I've finally found again; or run through the shin splints, hope they don't turn into a real injury, and stay motivated through July?

The threat of injury should easily outweigh anything else, but it's hard to take shin splints seriously. Plus, I tried to take yesterday and today off and was so grumpy and fidgety that I had to get to the gym. And once there, I had to run! The rowing machine, the elliptical...yeah, I spent time on those, but in the end I needed to pound out a couple miles before I felt satisfied. Nothing makes me happier than a run.

I know what the seasoned runners will say. I know, as a relatively experienced (if not average) runner, what I should do. But I felt transcendent running through my pain today, telling it to shut up, take a back seat, and let me do my thing. In a way, I think this is something I need because it will teach me not to back down at the first sign of discomfort, and I know when I'm doing 16 or 18 miles during training, I'm going to need to know how to push through some pain.

All the treadmill shots lately can be explained by this.

I need to play the rest of the streak by ear. Maybe call it quits, maybe just see what happens. It was fun while it lasted and I'm grateful for the lessons it taught me. Now it's time to stop hanging my success on a certain number of days, and do what's right for me.

On a more cheery note, I'm currently designing my first running tattoo. I've decided to reward myself post-streak (however long it ends up being). I told my parents about it last week, and then received this email from my mom after she had shared the news with my grandparents.

Either Grandma is a master guilt-tripper, or the sweetest lady ever.

How cute is that?

What are your thoughts on running through discomfort?
How do you decide when enough is enough?
Do you have any running-related body art?

ABK

I'm baa-aack!

Okay, so my break from running ended up being a little shorter than anticipated, but I'm comfortable saying that with 13 days of no running and an early morning three miles under my belt today, I'm back to it.

I didn't spend the two weeks off doing anything really important. I avoided Nike+ and DailyMile and didn't read much in the way of running blogs. I turned off my usual alarm and slept until 6:17 every day. This week, I was feeling antsy, so I did some of my hip exercises (the ones I promised photos of...they're coming soon). I saw that Pro Compression had a 40% offer going on, and I ordered a pair of compression calf sleeves and a pair of socks.

We went out for dinner for my birthday last night, and K mentioned that a running group she's met up with a few times was doing a 3-miler this morning. (They usually do long runs, but we're all signed up for a 5k this evening so they wanted to keep it easy. On a bit of a tangent here, the 5k is sure to be really cool. It's called the Edison Festival of Light, and it's run at night - obviously. Afterward, there's a huge parade. It's a giant race with lots of spectators...should be fun!)

So anyway, we did the three miles this morning and I felt really good. Well, my legs felt good. They like time off. But my breathing was really erratic. It could be that I kept a bit of a faster pace for some of the run in the beginning because the other runners were fast/not just coming off a break. Or, it could be that I'm not totally over whatever cold I had last week. But probably the trouble breathing had more to do with resting than anything else. I plan to take the rest of the day easy, and run the race this evening for the atmosphere and fun.

I did a little soul-searching during the time off, and it really helped my mood today. It felt great to be out there in cold, bright, sunshiney morning. It felt great to feel my body getting back into the motion. The biggest thing I realized was that the idea of all these half marathons was stressing me out. I wanted to run the Hooters Half in March, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't want to run it for any other reason than to add to my bibs and medals. How silly! If the run isn't about the experience, but just the end result, then where's the enjoyment?

So I've decided to run my shorter races - mostly 5ks and one 10k planned out so far - and not worry about distances at the moment. I'm going to spend the summer doing speedwork and building strength, and I'm going to run the full (or half) in November as planned. I think two half marathons a year is an accomplishment, and I don't need to run a half every month to feel like running is part of my lifestyle. I can still be consistent and meet my goals, but in a way that's more mentally and physically efficient. I still plan to build up distance eventually, but if today's first run back reminded me of anything, it's that there's merit in just getting out there.

No matter how slow you go, how long the run takes you, or how far you get, putting feet to pavement and loving it is what it's all about.

ABK

Weekly Report: Nov. 26 - Dec. 2

After taking time off, the little voice in my head telling me I'd be starting from scratch was getting annoying. It was nice to get in a weekend run that was farther than I planned to go, and faster, too. This week, we're back to routine. Maybe not up to the 20s yet, but I'm planning on hitting mileage in the teens.

Next race to train for? Not sure...but the next long race is the NDN Half in late January.

ABK

Resting Easy

It has been an incredible indulgence to have taken this time off from running. While my legs are feeling jittery and I'm restless and ready to run again, it's been nice to "sleep in" until 6am. It's been nice to give my legs time to heal; the twinges in my hip flexor, knee, and foot (all on my left leg) are growing faint. I've spent this time getting back to work, coaching volleyball, and relaxing. It's funny how, right after traveling for the holidays, I'm always in desperate need of relaxation.

This week off hasn't left me feeling awful or depressed, as I wrote about feeling on unplanned days off. In fact, I feel whole and sound in my body, mind, and spirit...as corny as it sounds.

I've kept myself in the running loop, though. The three or four Facebook running groups that I follow are alive with chatter as fellow runners gear up for their big races. Mine has passed and I'm in a moment of suspension, but it's cool to sit back and watch the training go on around me. Goals are being met, feedback is being requested, advice being doled out, and I am happily finishing the last of the cranberry sauce and pie and just...taking a break.

It's nice, too, to know that this break isn't indefinite. There have been times in the past when taking a week off quickly rolls into months of inactivity; that's what started this 2012 resolution in the first place. But I know this time that this year has changed me. Running has become too important to me; I will not fall idle again.

I'm not ready to ruminate on the year. It's an upcoming post which will be more appropriately timed, but even the thought of sitting down to write it is daunting. For now, I'll leave it at that.

I am so excited to run this weekend. My plan is to have no plan. Ah, freedom! I just want to stretch my legs, take it easy, and start at square one. This weekend's run won't be about training. I'm not even quite sure which race I'm gearing up for next, so I guess the answer to that question would be "none". There are a few left on the list for this race season, but they're in the back of my mind.

I'm reliving fond memories of breaking out of two-milers at the end of the summer and consistently adding distance and weekly mileage, rocking our first long-run, shocking ourselves at how far we could really go, and how easily! It's exciting to know I'll be starting back there soon, and that the increase and skill will come back faster this time around. It's exciting, too, to know that I'll be able to add longer tempo runs, more long-runs...that basically this was my first round of training in a lifetime of training cycles, and this next cycle will give me the opportunity to climb up to the next level. Maybe I'll push my distance. Maybe I'll push my pace. Maybe my new goals will be ones that were previously unfathomable. Who knows? The running world lays open wide with possibilities before me!

I feel weirdly...fresh. A chapter is closed - the Half is finished. A new chapter begins.

On my time off, I've been collecting the quotes I get from RunnersWorld.com. I feel like it would be lazy to just post a bunch of them and call it a blog entry, but I want to keep them somewhere that's easy to access and available to others in need of inspiration. I think I'll create a new tab for quotes sometime this week. It will be good mental prep that I know will get me revved up and ready to rejoin the running world.

ABK

Addiction and Cure

Author's Note: This blog entry discusses running as an addiction that affects my personality, and as a cure for my depression. In discussing addiction and depression, I in no way wish to offend anyone. This is about my experience, my struggle, and my journey. Thanks for reading.

Addiction is a worrisome word most of the time. It calls to mind illicit activities, an inability to control one's urges, and a sense of impending doom as destructive habits go unchecked. Veteran runners will tell you about the runner's high without any sense of irony or concern. Non-runners will roll their eyes, because surely this is just something runners talk about; it likely doesn't exist and is just a figment of a deluded mind.

But the runner's high is real, caused by endorphins and hormones released during exercise; and if the high is real, then it makes sense that - like other things that get you high - running can be addicting.

I have written before about becoming a total nightmare on days I don't run.  This still holds true for the most part, although since increasing my mileage and consistently running in the morning, I find that rest days aren't as difficult to deal with. My body craves rest, and I don't really mind taking those days off anymore. However, I am noticing different side-effects of running consistently.

For example, this week we ran Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. We took Tuesday off. We were supposed to run Wednesday, but you know what they say about "the best laid plans". I didn't feel guilty about taking Tuesday and Wednesday off, but my mood underwent the kind of subtle and horrific change that can only be attributed to not getting a fix when your body is screaming for one.

I was lethargic all day. I was irritable with my students. I came home after work and wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep for a year. I was despondent; I clung to M and barely held back tears that, if pressed, I could not have explained the cause for.

Here's the thing. I've dealt with depression. I don't mean the kind of depression where you're kind of sad but a good day with friends pulls you out of it. I'm talking consistent, unshakeable, deep depression. The kind that leads down dark roads paved with unhealthy habits and addictions, concerned parents, baffled friends, helpless therapists, medications that prove useless, etc. I've read some interesting articles about running and depression, specifically that running can "cure" depression, but that those who choose this route may need to rack up 40+ miles a week in order to stave off the monster.

Anyway, on days I don't run, that deep, gnawing, unfathomable depression that has no immediate cause (and therefore no immediate solution) threatens to wake from its hibernation. It's barely a shadow of what I've dealt with in the past, but...well, slippery slopes, and all that.

So yes, running is an addiction for me. It's one that keeps me sane. On the days I think I'm too tired to run, I sleep an extra two hours but then struggle through a day filled with fatigue and short fuses. My students, who often bring me joy, irk me. They notice it, too, because kids are observant, and because they're tactless, they ask, "Are you getting sick? Are you tired? Are you okay? You look sick. You look tired."

On the days I force myself out of bed, I lose two hours of sleep but go to work feeling refreshed and buoyant. The energy lasts all day.

Off-days that are planned ahead are much easier to deal with, but the days that sneak up on us because of circumstances outside our control never turn out to be good days.

Running has become a wonderful drug for me, but I have to worry, because like any addiction, there are negative side-effects. This week I've had some tenderness in my ankles and knees; what if I injure myself and have to take time off? What if I (like many runners before me) ignore the signs that I need to cut back a bit? I could cross train at the gym on the rowing machine, the elliptical, the bike, in the pool...but I know that part of the high I get from running is from running. I may still be getting exercise in, but nothing affects me like running does.

This was meant to be a lighthearted post, and I think it got away from me. But I've been reflecting on the past ten months (oh my gosh, has it been that long since I made this resolution?!), and my relationship with running has changed and changed again. It's amazing how important it's become to me, and I feel a sense of complacent pride when I think down the road five, ten, fifteen years and know I will still be running.

When I think back to high school, when I half-heartedly walked the mile run in close to 20 minutes and was struggling with a beast of a depressive nature, I can hardly believe the lifestyle change I've somehow managed to make. It used to look impossible; it was a mountain I'd never conquer. But today I can credit my health, my happiness, my solid relationships, and my clear head to running. It's truly been a miracle drug.

ABK

This is Your Brain on Running

This weekend was stressful. We headed to a baseball game out of town Friday night and spent most of Saturday seeing our parents and some of M's extended family. We left home Friday evening after a full day of work, stayed out late for the post-game concert, and spent Saturday out of town much longer than I had originally planned. We had to get home in time to prep our house for Hurricane Isaac, and I needed to fit in a run.

I was a horror Friday and Saturday. Everything that changed our schedule even slightly drove me into a fit. I was biting heads off left and right. Could it be a coincidence that Friday was a rest day and didn't run until evening on Saturday?

Well, the short answer is most likely "no". When I brought up this phenomenon to K during our run tonight, her response was an emphatic "THANK YOU!" Apparently we're at the point in our training when taking a day off sends us into a spiral of bad-attitudiness.

Running lifts my mood, keeps me grounded, and releases endorphins that keep me positive and feeling good. Rest days are necessary to recovery, but if I'm not able to workout at all on those days (no gym, no run, nothing), then my patience grows short. It's like any more than 24 hours between runs sends my mood plummeting.

So how do I fix this? Rest days are a necessity, but being inactive on those days turns me into a monster. Even being up and walking (which I do for roughly eight hours a day when I'm teaching) isn't enough to stave off this wretched attitude. And let me clarify: on these days, I feel fine, but I'm more likely to be annoyed, upset, or angry when little things go wrong. I'm more likely to be outrageously irritated by small annoyances, like someone trying to talk to me while I'm concentrating on something. One minute I'll be perfectly happy; the next I'll be snapping at someone. My fuse, as they say, is short on these days.

I can't stop taking rest days, even if I only take one or two a week. So what can I do?  If I take the day off and can't get to the gym, what's the alternative? How do I stop myself from wanting to throttle people just because I have built up energy I can't spend?

I guess the answer is to do some other form of exercise on those days off (easier said than done, given my schedule), and I could do some yoga poses if I can't get to the gym. Or we could schedule days off so that our next run is in the morning, not evening, keeping our off-hours at 24 instead of 36. Both of these options are things I'll need to work to incorporate into my training, because being the teacher from the Black Lagoon twice a week is definitely not an option for me.

Running is supposed to be a wholly positive thing; but this, then, makes not running a negative (instead of neutral) thing. This makes "rest days" an oxymoron: good for you and bad for you all at once. In order to be successful, this needs to change.

I'm confusing myself. The bottom line is that I don't want to be a terror on days I don't run. Insights are welcome!

ABK