What I Hate to Hear from Non-Runners

Running isn't for everyone; I get that. I think it's more important to find a physical activity that makes you happy so you stay consistent and get some exercise than to pick up one particular type of exercise.

Not everyone is going to want to run, and that doesn't have to be justified to me or anyone else. So that's why I can't stand it when people feel the need to justify it, and then spout off something like, "Well, you like running" or "You're good at running" or "Well, you're a runner."

All I can say to that is...not always.

I didn't always like running. I know I've mentioned it here before, but I was legitimately that kid who walked the mile "run" in gym class. These days, I love running in general, but some days I still really, really don't. If you don't want to become a runner, fine, but don't justify it with "You like running, you wouldn't understand" because I was the epitome of a running-hater, so I know that logic doesn't stick.

Sometimes I don't love running for weeks at a time! Getting this reminder in my inbox is always a little hard to swallow.

I wasn't always good at running, and I'd argue that I'm still not very good at it most days. There was a time a couple years ago when I was only running 5k and 10k races, and I was getting speedy. Back then, I felt good at running. These days I feel like every run is a battle. (Must have something to do with 90% humidity.) You don't have to be good at running to enjoy it; is anyone good at Zumba, or weight-lifting, or spin, or...anything else when they first begin? Of course not! But still, people find a way to enjoy the workout even if they're not good at it yet.

And anyway, what does being good at running look like? Are we talking about being good like Meb? Because really, in that case, who is?

I wasn't always a runner. I didn't consider myself a runner when I first started. But like I've already said, you have to start somewhere if you want to achieve something great, and that somewhere isn't going to be at the top.

I think I blame the mile run in gym for people's aversion to running. I mean, coaches never teach you to build up to a mile. Twice a year you just...run it. It's like, Good luck, kids! We're not going to talk about pacing yourself, intervals, or even how far a mile really is! Go get it!

No wonder so many people say they hate running! And as someone who used to, I can't help but think if those people just gave it a chance, they'd be singing a different tune. But hey, to each his own! I just want the lame justifications to stop!

What do you say to these kinds of excuses?

Did you always like to run?

ABK

SUP 'n Run 2013

This weekend was our Sup 'n Run relay! Matt and I arrived in Melbourne after 9pm on Friday, checked into our hotel, and grabbed some Panera for dinner.

The race venue was only five minutes from the hotel, and the race didn't start until 10am. I'm assuming the late start was for the SUP portion, but an 8am start would have been preferable due to the heat. I'll get to that momentarily.

I had 3/4 of a protein bar and a small Fuji apple for breakfast, and ate three or four Chomps 15 minutes before race time. As far as breakfasts go, it was skimpy, but I hadn't really planned ahead very well for eating while traveling.

At the start line!

At the venue, the race director showed us the course for the paddlers and runners. The divisions were split by SUP AND Run and SUP OR Run...Matt and I were in the latter, because he'd paddle the entire race and I would run it all. (Other teams would trade paddling/running at each exchange.)

Our divisions were separated further by board type and combined-age. Matt's portion of the race was four miles on the water; mine was eight on land. We met at miles 2, 4, 6, and 8, then ran across the finish line together. At the beginning of the race, I wore three red bracelets, and we exchanged them at each meetup so that by the finish line, Matt was wearing them.

I was worried about getting lost, and the race was very small, but the organizers had done a great job marking the course, and there were volunteers pointing the way at all the tricky turns. I only got turned around once, and a fellow runner quickly sent me back the right way.

Coming in to the first exchange.

The hardest part of the race was the heat; it was cloudless and in the mid-80s during the entire run. Very little of it was in the shade. The minute we got to the venue, I stripped off my compression sleeves; the fewer clothes I was wearing, the better.

(Sorry...I know so many of you are braving sub-zero temperatures right now! I'm not sure what Florida is thinking, but someone needs to remind my backwards state that it's DECEMBER!!)

My legs felt fantastic, but three miles into the run - after our first exchange - I could feel my heart-rate getting out of control. I was having trouble breathing. I took extra time at the second exchange to drink more water and pour some over my head.

Not exaggerating. Look at my idiot state.

I began setting run-walk goals for myself, taking breaks where the paths were uneven or steep or where the sun was strongest, and running hardest where trees or houses blocked the sun and provided some semblance of shade. I dug in at the last mile and ran the entire thing because I hate walking in the last mile of any race.

I like to be able to run an entire race without walking at all, but sometimes we need to assess the situation and make smart choices. Choosing to be smart is sometimes harder than pushing through, because of the disappointment that goes along with it, and this feeling that we're "backing down".

Spoiler alert: we finished! Our medals are bottle openers. Love it!

I know I can blame the heat and being on antibiotics for strep for how tough this race was on me (why have I been sick for two of my last three races?!), but I kind of hate chalking it up to that. If I had trained better and hadn't let volleyball and my schedule get in the way, I know I could have performed at a more satisfactory level.

I can't do anything about it now; I'm glad we went to the race and I had a great time. Being disappointed in the outcome is stupid because the experience itself was such a great way for Matt and me to enjoy the sports we love together.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

1st place...I like that our age group was 40-75.

After the race, there was a delicious spread of homemade chili and Florida beer. Matt and I placed first in our division and we both won raffle prizes of gift certificates for Road ID bands.

This race was a learning experience. At our second meetup, I told Matt I didn't think I could finish. By mile 6, I had resolved to finish strong and had found my second wind. I now see that I need to work on training for hitting the wall and working through less-than-perfect race conditions.

Perfect beach weather; not exactly perfect race weather.

Post-race, we enjoyed monstrously huge Mexican dishes and some necessary libations. We saw The Book Thief after. (I admit I haven't read the book yet; the first chapter failed to catch my attention, but the movie was poignant and beautiful; it spoke to the writer and book-lover in me. I'll take another crack at the novel, and I highly recommend the film!)

Yes, please!

Today, we had breakfast overlooking the ocean at our hotel, then got back on the road to head home. 

Enjoying the view as we wait to eat.

As we were driving through the middle of nowhere, we passed a runner who must have been on an ultra-long run. There weren't any houses or stores for at least 15 miles in either direction. It was kind of an awesome sight to end our trip.

ABK

Just the Facts

I ran exactly zero miles last week.

I'm frustrated by my foot. When I take my pills, my stomach is too ravaged to run. When I don't take them, the pain creeps back and is just as devastating.

My interest level in completing my full in five weeks has dwindled to almost non-existent.

I'm seriously considering running the half instead, and pushing a full to December...more time to heal and rest.

I'm reading my blog list, but am too busy to leave meaningful comments, so I've been incommunicado.

My failure to complete my long run last weekend because of the baseball game from hell has basically sapped me of all motivation. That mental whammy went pretty deep.

Today was the first day I woke up and had even a little urge to run.

I'm worried I won't have time for a real taper because of the two long runs I've missed.

I'm trying to stay positive, but right now I feel like I'm in survival mode.

Keep on chugging, friends. I'm not sure what my plan is as of right now, but I'm seriously weighing my options and trying to be realistic.

ABK

Stumbling Block

This week has been a bust so far. I have to remind myself it's only Tuesday, because I feel like it's already mid-week and I haven't run yet.

It's because I've had four days off.

I feel like a fraud.

I took Saturday off in order to fast, and spent Sunday hungry and exhausted as a result. I did some paddleboarding Sunday, but only to try some new boards; I was hardly on the water for an hour. I have no legitimate excuses for Monday or this morning.

The weather is finally nice here in the mornings (and, honestly, even in the evenings!) so I should be happy to be running. But of course, little wrenches in my plans have thrown off my schedule. Grocery shopping, dinner-cooking, and an earlier sunset have really made it hard to get on track again.

Perfection.

Hopefully admitting this will set me back up for success this week! One thing marathon training has taught me: I enjoy too much OTHER stuff in life to dedicate myself to a training schedule. It kind of sucks, but that's just how I am.

So I need to learn to work around it and make it work, because I want to run this marathon, and I want to do it knowing I put my full effort behind it.

How do you get out of bed in the dark, cold morning hours?
Tell me to suck it up. I need it.

ABK

Personal Responsibility

Since returning from California, my running has been in a weird place. A mostly bad place. But I'm trying to replace the idea of "bad" runs with "disappointing" runs or "tough" runs. Any run is a good run because it gets you out there and helps you make progress. Right?

I know my trouble is 90% mental and 10% environmental. Here's why. In California, I was easily running my longer mid-week runs, so I know I'm physically capable. However, I missed my long run while away, and when I got back to Florida I was back in the outdoor-running-state-of-mind.

After one successful 5am run this week, I laid out clothes for the next...and they've stayed there for 3 days.

I miss running outside. The treadmill is boring and tedious, and I admit, I feel less like a "real" runner when 90% of my runs are indoors. But summertime in Florida refuses to cooperate with me. Even when it rains, it's so steamy and humid that I have trouble breathing. My legs have felt heavy and sore on every outdoor run since returning home.

Only in Florida do you see skies like this behind you while skies ahead are bright.

I don't have the option to complete morning runs indoors because my gym doesn't open early enough. I don't want to go to the gym after work because I'm too exhausted.

Running outside - and alone - at 5am is kind of terrifying. And, despite the early hour and lack of sunlight, there's still 90% humidity.

I need to start carrying water on shorter runs in this climate, but I've been putting off getting a fuel belt because I'm afraid I won't like it.

This week I really suffered for my lack of hydration and being on my feet all day. I've been living all summer in flipflops and running shoes; after my first day back at school in work shoes, my feet cramped up and turned into crazy claws for 15 minutes, until Matt fed me a high-potassium smoothie.

The long and short of this is that I have no one to blame for my slacking but myself, and maybe I needed to take some time off because the anxiety and change in schedule that accompanies the beginning of school have left my energy stores empty. But I also don't want to make excuses or allow myself to continue on this path and then have to bow out of the marathon.

Ready for open house to begin! Check out those under-eye circles!

It doesn't help that my last three runs in my new shoes have been less-than-great. Like, uninspired. I go out excited and within a mile feel tired and heavy; there has been some low-grade pain in my legs that I think could be from the shoes. I've been slower than I planned, and had to cut my runs short so that I'd have time to get home and shower to get to work on time.

As much as I want to love them, I have to wonder if I just need to get new Kayanos instead of sticking with the Adrenalines. But maybe it's all in my head!

(This is why I hate shoe-buying.)

As of right now, I'm not at all on track. This needs to change. I'm the only one who can change it. Being behind and knowing I have a plan to follow is stressful, so I'm taking my training into my own hands and ignoring my actual training plan for now.

Goals for this week: 
    1. Run at least three weekdays, at least 4 miles.
    2. Complete my long run.
    3. Complete a real crosstraining workout at the gym.

Once I'm back in the habit, I know getting up early to run will be doable and even easy at times. But this week I've had zero energy. And I hate to admit it, but admitting it will force a change.

Above and below: my post-Open House classroom looks more lived-in and normal!

Besides, I don't want to lie and say things are going well when they're not. This blog is a place for me to ruminate on running: the good, bad, and the ugly.

Now that I've gotten the whining out of my system, it's time to move forward.

How do you motivate yourself out of a slump?
Share some words of wisdom/inspiration!

ABK

Short & Sweet

If you didn't already do it when I first posted about Heather's promo post at Run Like a G, go check it out! There are bunches of blogs I'll need to check out after I get back from vacation and have real internet again.

Every year for our anniversary, Matt and I take a trip. Last year it was to Panama, and this year we'll be in California!



With friends in Panama, summer 2012!

Wish me luck keeping up with training while traveling. I was able to do it while in Cleveland, but this will be a lot different - longer vacation, more miles required.

I intend to find a way.

I probably won't be posting much while I'm away, and I know I won't be able to comment because for some reason commenting using my phone is virtually impossible. I'll reward your understanding attitudes with lots of beautiful pictures.

(If you're not already, start following my Instagram to keep up with my vacation!)

This trip is my last hurrah...I go back to work July 30!

ABK

Splint Decisions

The third week of the Runner's World Run Streak has begun, and I'm going strong. Well, strong-ish. I've always had a hard time toeing that line between giving up and acknowledging that there is a more important battle to be fought.

When it comes to picking battles in real life, I'm a pro. I know what's important to me, and for the most part I know when to let things roll off my back and when to pick up a sword and start slaying dragons.

I posted this to FB in one of my running groups after Day 15 of the streak. (Can you catch the typo?)

The problem with "choosing my battles" when it comes to running, though, is that I'm not a naturally competitive person. Often, I'm more likely to back down from a daunting run than to face it head-on. Over time, I've grown to a point where I know when I'm shortchanging myself and backing down. But the run streak has really messed with my head a bit.

Here's the face of someone who doesn't know when to quit: the day after that post, I hopped on a treadmill anyway.

Weighing my looming marathon training, set to begin July 7, and this run streak, the training should come first. That means that anything that could risk injury should automatically be put on hold, right? Shin splints are clearly my body's way of saying, back off! I'm tired! You're doing too much too soon! But logically, I don't think one to two miles a day is really asking that much of my body, especially as I'm keeping the pace nice and slow (in the low 10s, sometimes high 9s).

Foam rolling and sleeping in my compression socks seemed to help a bit.

Usually, I would balk at the first sign of pain and take a nice rest for a couple days. But you see, the run streak has re-ingrained in me the habit of running. I had taken so much time off, remember? I had been burned out. I have the streak to credit for my even running at all lately! And if I want to have any base level of fitness before July 7, then I need to be running consistently.

Day 17: Today I tried my luck in another pair of shoes, but nothing much changed there.

So here I am, at a crossroads. Quit the streak, take a rest day or two, then go back to running normally and hope I don't lose the motivation I've finally found again; or run through the shin splints, hope they don't turn into a real injury, and stay motivated through July?

The threat of injury should easily outweigh anything else, but it's hard to take shin splints seriously. Plus, I tried to take yesterday and today off and was so grumpy and fidgety that I had to get to the gym. And once there, I had to run! The rowing machine, the elliptical...yeah, I spent time on those, but in the end I needed to pound out a couple miles before I felt satisfied. Nothing makes me happier than a run.

I know what the seasoned runners will say. I know, as a relatively experienced (if not average) runner, what I should do. But I felt transcendent running through my pain today, telling it to shut up, take a back seat, and let me do my thing. In a way, I think this is something I need because it will teach me not to back down at the first sign of discomfort, and I know when I'm doing 16 or 18 miles during training, I'm going to need to know how to push through some pain.

All the treadmill shots lately can be explained by this.

I need to play the rest of the streak by ear. Maybe call it quits, maybe just see what happens. It was fun while it lasted and I'm grateful for the lessons it taught me. Now it's time to stop hanging my success on a certain number of days, and do what's right for me.

On a more cheery note, I'm currently designing my first running tattoo. I've decided to reward myself post-streak (however long it ends up being). I told my parents about it last week, and then received this email from my mom after she had shared the news with my grandparents.

Either Grandma is a master guilt-tripper, or the sweetest lady ever.

How cute is that?

What are your thoughts on running through discomfort?
How do you decide when enough is enough?
Do you have any running-related body art?

ABK

Mind Games

I've been itching to write a post dedicated to the simple pleasure of the casual run - the kind where you didn't necessarily plan it ahead, and you're just blowing off steam - but this morning's run was just the opposite of that and quickly proved it deserved its own post. I suppose the other will wait for another day.

If I had to define what kind of racer I consider myself, I would say "cautious". I go into each race thinking, "I'll just keep my pace steady; I hope I meet [insert really easy goal here]." I don't have much swagger or confidence. I set my expectations low to avoid failure, a weakness in myself I've discussed a couple times.

I'm scared that if I push my pace, I'll burn out and end up limping my way to the finish, unable to even conjure up the energy to trot. So instead of setting a race pace that's really challenging, I actually try to ratchet down my speed during races. I know the adrenaline and the people all around will get me going, so I purposely try to counteract that by setting a slower pace.

But today's run - and Tuesday's, as well - have been working on my mind to lift this fear. Our Monday run left me feeling a bit tired, and I hadn't really given it my all, so I was happy to only do three miles Tuesday. But during those three miles, K and I ran at the same pace. She was doing a pace that was easy for her, and  in wanting to keep up with her, I reminded myself that this was a short run and therefore I could push myself and be okay. Her easy run is, for me, a challenge.

We finished those three miles in just over 28 minutes. My 5k time is usually mid-29s. So this means, of course, that I've been shortchanging my 5ks. I told M later that evening that I realized I could probably run a 5k in 28 minutes easily if I were just willing to be a little more uncomfortable for the duration of the run. Of course, letting people know of a goal like that means setting yourself up for embarrassment if you don't reach it, right? Well, maybe not, but it's certainly how my mind works.

Then we ran today. We did a 4.5 mile tempo run. I'd had in the back of my head K's latest blog post, wherein she mentions that the warmup mile we usually do was too slow for her these days. I kept this in mind as we ran this morning, doing our first mile together. (For those new to training runs, a tempo run gives you a warm-up mile and cool-down mile, and you run the middle distance at race pace.) That mile was around 9:28, which was faster than the race pace I did on the last tempo. Our run took us over the bridge and back today, so as I kicked up my speed for the middle 3+ miles, I had that moment of doubt.

K took off at her pace, and I followed diligently. Something in my mind seemed to click. This is "pounding the pavement". I am not going to die from this. I am going to run at a pace that feels uncomfortable until it's time to stop.

And I did. My second mile was 9:13 and my third was 8:56. This is including the bridge. The last mile came in at 9:11, and I took the last half mile in the 9:20s.

I finished this run thinking that I actually felt sore, a good kind of sore, and that I felt I had broken some barrier and proven to myself that the old dictum of running being mostly mental is so damn true! My tendency to slow down at the halfway point, my constant worrying and "checking in" with how I feel, my aggressively uncompetitive nature...these are all obstacles my brain has created to keep me from facing the pain of failure. (The most dangerous is that mid-run slowdown; I know it will destroy me in the Half if I give in to it.)

If you don't try your hardest, you can't be ashamed when you fail, because you can always say, "Oh, well, I didn't really try." How many times have I seen students working under this impression? How often have I told them that failing is how we learn, grow, and make progress? It's terrifying to take a risk, but the outcome is almost always worth it.

I don't think I'm "cured" of these mental hangups by any means. But I do think that these two speedy runs will be strongholds against that whispering doubt. And I know eventually that the doubt won't be able to break through, especially if I do it again and again, running at a faster pace, pushing myself harder, throwing fear of failure and discomfort and momentary pain to the wind. If I relive these runs in my head until the next run, and then the next, I will create stepping stones away from doubt and toward a new confidence.

It scares me to realize how truly desperate I am to feel confident in my runs, in my races. Because wanting to be good means I'm making myself vulnerable. I'm not talking about competing with others; I am fighting a battle with my own mind. I intend to win.

"The real purpose of running isn't to win a race; it's to test the limits of the human heart." -Bill Bowerman, Co-founder of Nike, Inc.

ABK

Excuses and Running Links

This past week became an excellent example of how easily I can go from being on a consistent running schedule to accidentally taking seven days off.

The week went like this:

• Monday: I had a good two-mile run late at night with M. Felt awesome, but my knee was killing me afterward.
• Tuesday: I usually run every other day, so it was normal to take a day off. Plus, Valentine's Day! So I didn't feel guilty about not running.
• Wednesday: My birthday...this seemed like a good enough reason to take the day off. We had friends over for dinner and cake, and it was a work night. I got to bed late.
• Thursday: My allergies caused intense sinus pressure, stuffed nose, and played havoc on my asthma. Another day off, and early to bed.
• Friday: We left for the weekend to go to Miami, which had been planned ahead of time anyway for my birthday. So...clearly no running there, since I had work and then had to pack and get the animals squared away.

Now, usually if we're out of town for a few days I'll pack a set of running clothes just in case. But I'm so unfamiliar with the areas we were going to, I figured I wouldn't want to run on my own. Little did I know that one of our friends brought workout gear and hit the gym while we were there. So I missed out on that, and felt tremendously guilty about it.

We did a lot of walking around a catamaran show on Saturday, and we walked downtown to dinner instead of driving. So Sunday, when we finally arrived home late, I wasn't very motivated to run.

So that brings us to Monday. A full week with only one run in. I know a week off is easy enough to catch up on, but in the past when this has happened, a week usually turns into two or three without my even realizing it. The difference this time is my new NY resolution to be more consistent. And, of course, seeing tons of runners in Miami and Fort Lauderdale really had me feeling jealous and antsy to get out there.

(And can I mention the abundance of gym-hard bodies on the beaches there?! Talk about motivation!)

The plan for tonight is to run without overdoing it. The last thing I need is to hurt my knee, giving me another excuse to take some time off.

The bad news is that I've been planning to run the Hooter's Half Marathon on March 4, and it's unlikely I'll be up to that. Realistically, I just know I'm not going to be ready in two weeks' time.

But this weekend raised a lot of good questions for me, including questions about being a runner but not being competitive, or not wanting to really increase mileage. Those are posts for another day.

Now, I leave you with some interesting reads of the running variety:

Treadmill vs. Running Outside
Chocolate is Good for Endurance
The Dangers of Eating Disorders in Runners
3 Part Training Plan
Jog.fm Running Songs
Running and Immunity
The Color Run - a FUN 5k!
6 Benefits of Running
The Hooters Half

ABK