A Beginner's Injury

I started running in 2008. Like most runners, especially those who come to it for the first time as adults, I've dealt with my share of injuries. 

(Warning...there is a photo of a bruised and swollen foot in this post!)

Fingers Crossed

On Tuesday night, I ran for the first time since my second surgery.

I had wanted to run all weekend, but we were away for a wedding and timing just didn't work out. I was nervous to go alone Tuesday but I also didn't want to go with anyone. I just needed the chance to test the waters.

Matt came with me because when we run together we don't really run together. We walked the warmup together and I told him, "If this run goes well, I'm signing up for the A1A 5k when we get home."

And then I turned my watch on and started my first 3-minute interval, and Matt took off at his loping pace. He'd come back and loop around to meet up with me every few minutes throughout the run.

I ran in the circle neighborhood I stuck to after the first surgery; it's pretty and predictable...and quiet. I don't feel too self-conscious there.

For the first three minutes, I felt a little tight and stiff. I was doing 3:1 intervals, and at my first walk break I started to feel loosened up. The rest of the run was just...Amazing.

First walk break. Starting to feel good.

I had some hamstring tightness and I could feel a knot in my right calf, but it was definitely not tight or painful. I can't express the relief of being able to tell that a muscle ache is just a knot that needs some massaging.

By the middle of the run, I was grinning. I struggled a little in the chilly air and my legs felt tired and out-of-practice but I felt good. About 3/4 of the way done, I almost started crying. OAR's "City on Down" came on my playlist and for some reason everything just felt so perfect.

Matt caught me mid-joy. I couldn't contain my elation!

When we got home, I iced and used my TENS unit while I signed up for the race.

I also managed to convince my sister to run it with me - she usually meets me at the finish line of this race, so I am ecstatic - and even Matt and Oden (who we stay with for A1A every year) may run it! It'll be like a big celebratory party race! Obviously I will be using intervals and focusing on just finishing nice and easy, but I can't think of a better way to celebrate the end of this frustrating, depressing year of injury.

2 miles done and feeling GREAT!

I know I'm not fully "recovered"; Dr. G. said to expect it to take 3 months before I'm ready to pursue the kind of running I was doing pre-diagnosis. So, I will be patient and listen to my body. And maybe in the fall, I'll be ready to aim for a longer or faster race...

But honestly? I'm not even that impatient anymore, because now that there's forward progress, I am satisfied. I am ready to take the days as they come, because I have a lifetime of running ahead of me.

ABK

Running Journey Part II

In November 2016, I suddenly began experiencing unexplainable calf pain. Going back to read that blog entry is a little surreal, because I had no idea of what lay ahead. It's weird that I can know that November 28, 2016 was the day compartment syndrome first affected me.

And today is the last day of that chapter.

Although I tried lots of solutions back then - rest, heat, ice, stretching - nothing helped. The pain was more than muscle fatigue or the usual tightness runners sometimes experience during training.

My calves felt like rocks. My feet began to feel like they were slapping the ground. I couldn't run through it.

At this point, I had been running for about seven years and the only other time I'd ever felt pain like this was during my first marathon.

It took months of denial before Elizabeth pushed me to go see a doctor. This was followed by months of dead ends and waiting before I had an answer and a solution at hand. The first two doctors I saw were unhelpful and defeatist*, respectively. I self-diagnosed my issue and began calling around to sports medicine doctors to find someone who could do a pressure test for me.

That was when I finally began finding answers. I am so lucky I found Dr. Guerra and that he was so willing to work with me. Now, two surgeries and almost 14 months later, I am officially on the road to full recovery.

I had my last post-op with Dr. G today. He looked at both legs and tested my range of motion. He told me I looked "fantastic". He told me he feels very optimistic about my prognosis. He told me I could forgo PT after my final appointment this week and rely on at-home exercises as I finally finally FINALLY begin to run again.

I have lost fitness this year and I've lost forward momentum, but I am so grateful. I'm near tears just thinking about what the future could hold now. The goals I can resume pursuing. The improved quality of life I'll be able to enjoy once more.

Dr. G gave me back my legs. I can't even explain what that means...but I know you guys will get it.

Here's to Part II of this journey.

ABK

*Tangent: When I went to see my regular doctor last week, she was all, "Anything new happen this year?!" and I was like, "Funny you should ask. I had two surgeries!" and then I told her the entire story and when I told her about the vascular surgeon and his whole "women don't like scars" spiel she rolled her eyes so hard I thought they might fall out of her head.

Looking Forward

To say this was a tough year would be an understatement. It was not the year I envisioned at the end of 2016 and it wasn't the year I wanted. Obviously I took a step back from blogging (both writing and reading), and there were a few reasons for that. The first major reason was that I struggled with enjoying lighthearted hobbies when they began to feel frivolous in the face of...everything that happened in the US this year.

I have little hope for 2018 politics-and-justice-wise, but I do have some hope for the year running-wise.

Top 9 pictures from Instagram this year. Fewer running pictures than in the past. I had my lowest-mileage year in ages.

After the fasciotomy on my right leg I was able to get back to running using intervals (3:1) but always had to stop at about 2 miles because my left leg was still exhibiting symptoms. But the right leg's success made me excited to have the left leg done. My insurance made us wait to move forward with that surgery, so I was basically fully recovered on the right side by the time I had the left done.

Here we go again.

I had my left leg's fasciotomy on November 30 and have been recovering very well. At first I had more pain and discomfort than in my right leg, but I am only four weeks post-op and already my incisions look even cleaner than the first set.

Two days post-op, I had a ton of bruising. This is normal, but I didn't have it with my right leg. I found out after my post-op that I had bled more in this surgery and that explains the higher pain levels and bruising.

About 9 days post-op, when they removed the steristrips. Incisions looked good!

I am experiencing some calf stiffness in both legs, in the left due to surgery and in the right due to inactivity (I think); it will be another couple weeks before I can truly begin running again, but I did jog for three minutes on Christmas morning and it felt good to get moving.

Merry Christmas to me - a 3 minute slow jog on my parents' treadmill.

PT is going well. I have a couple more weeks of it to go. My therapist is confident I'll be able to do a 5k in late-February, which is my "comeback" goal - to run/walk the Fort Lauderdale A1A 5k (maybe with Kristina?!). I've done the half and full at the race over the last few years, it's always my birthday weekend, and it would be literally a year since my last race and REAL run/training, so the significance is huge. I'm feeling hopeful.

My left-anterior incision is still a little lumpy (that's where I had bleeding) but the posterior is already almost less noticeable than the scar on my right leg.

I am looking at 2017 as the final chapter in the first half of my running "career". I began running with no clue about what I was doing. I had no idea what intervals were or even what appropriate shoes were. I didn't even know races existed.

I plan to use 2018 as a chance to start totally fresh. I will pick up running from the beginning, but with the benefit of the knowledge I've gained over the last 9 years. I know there will be days when I really struggle, and there will be days I lament my lost fitness, but I hope this experience will serve as a reminder to never take it for granted. I hope that I'll be able to put this all behind me and focus on my running goals with renewed vigor and dedication.

I hope this blog will become something I'm excited to pick up again. I started it in 2012 with the intention of keeping myself accountable, and I don't think that's necessary anymore, but as an outlet and a place to track my journey, progress, setbacks, and victories...well, I hope it will become that again. I have no way of knowing where my mind will go as my recovery continues.

It's hard to start completely over, and I refuse to fall into the comparison trap while I build myself back up to where I once was, and maybe even beyond, so I know I'm not ready to step back into the runner-blogger community...but I feel like I'm standing at the threshold of a doorway that is slowly opening, and sooner than later, I am going to step through.

I am desperately excited and anxious to do so.

So, here is to the new year, my new legs, and a Part II of my running journey.

ABK

Recovery Rundown

There have been a few factors in my stepping away from this blog, but I felt I had to write this post. For posterity, or something. It's been a month and ten days since my surgery. In that time, I've gone to and graduated from physical therapy and started running again. I'll see my surgeon October 16 and will book my left leg's surgery on that day.

In physical therapy, I did a variety of exercises which helped strengthen my calf while improving mobility post-surgery. I did leg lifts, heel and toe raises, squats, leg presses, and lots of fun balancing exercises. (I think the therapists liked challenging me because I always rose to the occasion and they aren't used to having a willing guinea pig.) Each session always ended with a massage and 10 minutes in an ice boot while receiving TENs stimulation.

They put me on the bike early on and started working short treadmill runs into my routine about four weeks post-op. Everyone at PT seemed impressed by two things:

1. How quickly I was recovering. I've always been a textbook healer and when something is serious I take my orders seriously. Meaning, I actually obeyed orders, didn't run or overdo my stretches, moisturized, elevated, iced, and compressed. I wasn't surprised when I bounced back fairly quickly.

2. The precision of my incisions. Dr. Guerra is an artist! My scars are very thin and flat. They're still red/purple, but I know that will fade in time.

After a night of dancing at a friend's wedding, my right leg was super swollen, so I am still wearing compression socks daily.

My last physical therapy appointment (for this leg) was October 9; my PT told me that because I've begun running on my own again, from a PT standpoint there's not much more they can do for me. But I'll see them again once the left leg is done.

You can see where my right leg lost quite a bit of muscle.

I've done a couple short runs on my own using 3:1 intervals and my right leg is feeling amazing. Yes, it feels a bit weak, but it is pain-free. My left leg is another story; it is still tightening up badly. This is kind of a good thing because it makes the path very clear for me: the fasciotomy worked on my right leg and I need to repeat the process on my left.

A real run! 

In the meantime, I am going to enjoy the little runs I can, get back to the gym, and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.

ABK

Surgery & Afterward

I am going to include photos in this post; nothing is gory or bloody, but there is one photo of inside my leg so if you think that might gross you out, you've been warned!

Thursday

Matt and I arrived at Naples Day Surgery at 2pm for intake. I was feeling very calm; I don't think I got nervous once during the entire day, maybe because I was still in denial a little bit about actually having surgery. Let's call it survival mode!

After I changed into a gown and got settled in the pre-op area, Matt came back to wait with me. The nurse gave me an IV to start pushing some fluids because I hadn't had any since very early in the morning, and then the anesthesiologist team (there were three of them) came by to each check on me and get my medical history.

This is my new look; it's great for hiding bad hair days!

One of these team members had had an emergency fasciotomy in high school due to a football injury, and he showed me his scars. Everyone was so helpful and nice; I definitely give them all an A+ for bedside manner.

Dr. Guerra came by and marked my leg, and then I asked one of the nurses to help me to the bathroom. The IV had made me have to pee, and I was afraid I'd go on the operating table once I was under anesthesia!

Finally, it was time to go into the operating room. They pushed the first dose of...something...into my IV and I immediately started feeling loopy. I remember trying to tell them a story as they wheeled me into the OR, but I honestly don't know what I was telling them. (Okay, I think I was telling them about an Unsolved Mysteries case about a doctor who killed patients by putting bubbles in their IVs. What is wrong with me?)  I vaguely remember the nurse attaching the monitor wires to my chest, and I think I remember the oxygen mask.

A photo they printed of my surgery. I think the silver thing on top is the blade, the smooth pink at the bottom is the muscle, and the thin white/red thing is the fascia being cut.

The next thing I knew, I was hearing voices and being moved into a sitting position. I became aware that Matt was there talking to someone about my care, and I asked for something to drink. I felt dizzy from the anesthesia, so I asked for apple juice (I felt like I needed the sugar) and nursed that slowly while I woke up.

I was wheeled out to the car, and about halfway home I made Matt pull over so I could try to puke, but nothing came up. After that passed, I actually felt a lot better. Matt stopped at Publix to get me ice cream and soup (I remember telling him exactly what to get me, but it's all very foggy; all my memories from Thursday are), and then at home he made me dinner and was generally just the best caretaker I could ask for.

I do not remember taking this picture while I waited for Matt. I guess I was subconsciously thinking I need this for the blog.

I used my crutches the rest of the day Thursday. I really didn't want to take any of the narcotic painkillers I had been prescribed, so I stuck with Advil (Dr. Guerra said that was fine) and actually didn't have much pain. I was able to sleep pretty well!

Friday

I spent the day lounging around watching Jessica Jones with Matt. I was able to hobble around a bit without the crutches, and was still taking 600mg of Advil every 6 hours or so, but really my pain was very manageable.

The size of this bandage freaked me out but when I finally removed it, I saw I had very little swelling. The ace bandage was just packed with gauze and cushiony stuff.

I woke up around 3am Saturday morning with some burning in one incision, and I took Advil and went back to bed.

Saturday

I was finally allowed to shower Saturday night! I did not have to take any Advil all day (besides the 3am wakeup) and was fully walking without crutches. Matt helped me unwind my leg and peel off the old dressings before my shower. After examining the incisions, we dressed them back up and I finally had a chance to shower. Afterward, my leg was a little sore from standing, but mostly I felt great.

They had me mark the leg they'd be operating on, and my initials are still there.

I had no swelling or bruising; my muscle was sore beneath my skin, but the surgical sites themselves were completely numb. I know this could last up to a couple months.

No swelling at all!

Sunday

By Sunday, I had no pain at all. My ankle is a little sore where my anterior incision is, but the rest of my leg is painfree, if a little stiff. We even left the house Sunday so I could walk around a feel like a normal person.

I start PT on Tuesday and I am excited to get on with it! My post-op is September 11, and I hope at that time we can schedule my left leg, because I am bouncing back fast from the right and I am ready to be totally done with both! I'm hoping my fast recovery means I could get my right leg done on a "normal" long weekend. This time I had five days off but I think four would be plenty.

I am so grateful Kristina is going through this at the same time as me; it sucks to have this injury, but it's nice to not be alone. I am so ready to come back, to truly train, and to run again the way I used to.

ABK

Running Gave Me this Life

It might be too much to say running saved my life. I know it has been a literal lifesaver for many runners out there. For me, it is enough to say that running gave me the life I have.

It helped forge me into the person I am.

It has made me resilient.
It has made me strong.
It has made me appreciate failure.
It has made me brave.
It has made me compassionate.
It has made me analytical.
It has made me prioritize.
It has made me face truths.
It has made me more sociable.
It has made me determined.
It has made me focused.
It has made me grateful.
It has made me insightful.
It has made me humble.
It has made me joyful.

Running changed the way I think and helped me shed societal expectations for my body.

Running showed me over and over what I am capable of.

Running gave meaning to the corny cliches about pressure and diamonds and self-determination.

Running did not save my life, but I would not be who I am today without it, and I love what it has helped shape me into.

As I write this, on the eve of surgery, I am looking back at old posts and remembering why I am doing this. Why it's worth it. I will never be a competitive, elite runner, but I am not whole without running. I am not truly myself without it.

Last week, I was getting cold feet about the surgery. I've been numb the past couple months, as this process has dragged on. I wondered, Do I even miss running enough to undergo surgery to get it back?

This week, I know. I have not felt like myself since February, when my running had to be drastically cut back. I have felt strangely hollow and half-there. I am ready to feel alive again.

I am so ready.

ABK

Various Updates

Running

A couple weeks ago, I went back to see my doctor and schedule my fasciotomy. Not only has my calf pain been back, but the mental and emotional anguish of being injured has been weighing heavily on me. Running has been the only exercise that ever worked for me; I believe it played a huge role in making my depression manageable and helping me live a more balanced, happier life.

So I am very much looking forward to surgery at the end of the month. I'm savoring each run right now; after surgery it will be three months before I can be truly back to running the way I like, or think seriously about training.

This month I wrote a post for the Skirt Sports blog about my WORD. A word that motivates me and keeps me moving. I have used transcend as a mantra for ages - it has applied to overcoming pain, doubt, negativity, and fear. These days, it seems even more applicable to life in general.

My post is here. Please give it a read!

I laughed a little at this robot's assessment of my writing skills. Doesn't it know purposeful repetition is an artistic choice?! 

Product Review Update

I've tried out the MIIEGO headphones a couple more times. While they definitely resulted in sweaty ears at the gym, I found this wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be when outside.

The picture on the right shows all the sweat from wearing them to the gym, but after my outdoor runs they're not this sweaty!

The band across the back is still a little too tight and pulls a bit, but otherwise I'm pretty happy with them. I hope the band loosens up a touch with use, because right now my one major complaint is that they slip due to the band wanting to rebound into its twisty shape.

Work

I'm enjoying being back at work. This year we have a third CRT (curriculum resource teacher) and it's been great! The three of us make a really strong team.

We had 78% totality during dismissal on Monday. That was fun!

We moved into a bigger office this year, too, and it's much nicer than the old one. The year has gotten off to a smooth start so far.

Real Life

Last Friday, some friends joined me and Matt for a peaceful march of resistance and reflection, followed by a vigil for Charlottesville and Heather Heyer. It is very hard for me to explain how it feels, as a Jewish woman and an American, to see Nazis brazenly marching in the streets, but gathering with others in hope and love served as a balm for my sore heart and strengthened my resolve to resist.

And seeing the response in Boston? That was perfect.

What is your word?
How have you been dealing with national events lately?

ABK

Some Hard Truths (and Some Small Victories)

These days, three miles feels daunting and four seems impossible. I am trying to stay positive, but when I think about my longterm running goals, I can't help but feel hopeless.

I love that Elizabeth has become the voice of reason and experience in running here.

Running on the treadmill at the gym has reminded me how much easier running indoors is. For one thing, there's no humidity! For another, the treadmill really cuts down on the effort and impact. I am taking Wednesday's 30-minute run (no walking!) as a victory.

Monday I ran for 17 minutes without stopping (outside) and that is a victory, too.

My calf pain has been significantly less intense than it was November-May this year. On the one hand, this could mean I don't need surgery after all? So maybe all the stress, expenditure, and loss of fitness was for nothing, but I can just pick up running again like normal.

Or maybe this means I forgo surgery and then months later - after my deductible resets - the pain picks back up and I need it done after all.

I am thinking back to my first marathon. I was struck with calf cramps like I had never had before. At the time, I blamed Mucinex. But what if that was my first experience with compartment syndrome? Can it be dormant for years before resurfacing?

(Rereading that post is so amazingly motivating. I can't wait to be able to run a marathon again.)

I am running on my golf course or at the gym exclusively these days because the thought of driving to a route with the intention of completing it and failing is paralyzing. I like the comfort of the familiar right now.

But it's not a bad place to run, really.

Last week was the first time in a long time I actually enjoyed a run and felt like I was running for me and not as a chore. It was liberating.

Actually, genuinely happy.

Elizabeth listened patiently to these sundry concerns Wednesday and then offered really helpful suggestions and I feel really lucky to have her. She is endlessly patient and always helps me see the positive side of things.

I am trying very hard to focus on my victories. Today at the gym, I realized I can run without walk breaks. I realized Florida summer is a big element in my struggle; I had forgotten how much it can affect me.

I realized for the first time in awhile that I still want to run distance and I still can. Not yet, but eventually. Running is a lifelong endeavor, and I am relieved to realize I'm excited to get back to it after this is all over, however it turns out!

How do you get over your self-doubt after an injury or setback?
What small victories are you celebrating lately?

I'm So Tired of this Topic

Okay, let's talk about my calves for hopefully the last time this summer...or ever, preferably.

After my compartment test, it took awhile for me to hear back from the doctor. Once I finally spoke to him, my fears were confirmed: the tests were inconclusive.

That being said, he is still sure that the symptoms I'm having are indicative of compartment syndrome and he is willing to go forward with surgery if and when my symptoms return to an unbearable level.

I am currently under instructions to "run until it's a problem!" and then give him a call to schedule surgery. While I wanted this all figured out and done over summer, at this point I'm just happy that inconclusive tests haven't set me back to square one.

So for now, I am back to running with a freedom and ease I haven't felt in months. For awhile I've been too depressed and anxious to run, never knowing if I'll experience pain or be doing terrible damage to my calves. Now, I'm not scared to have pain because if I do, I know there will be an answer. I missed being able to turn my brain off and just run!

Hopefully a return to a more consistent running/workout schedule will improve my mood and help draw me out of my anti-social behavior. Fingers crossed that this will be the last I need to write about this particular subject!

I hope you all are doing well!

ABK

*tap tap* Is this Thing On?

Hi guys.

Well, it's been awhile. This tends to happen to me during the summer; given the time to truly isolate myself, I turn off notifications, ignore texts, and step away from my blog and social media a bit. This tendency was completely exacerbated by my frustration and sadness over my injury.

I am a naturally cynical person. I work hard to force myself to think positively, and to come across as positive on my blog. I simply didn't have the energy for that kind of thing over the last four weeks, so I took some time off. Let's call it a mental health month. I'm not sure I'm back, necessarily, but I needed to update with the latest on my calves, for my sake if for nothing else.

After returning from DC in May, I stopped running. This means I took about two weeks off before I realized I needed to have symptoms for my pressure test. I ran every day the week before the test, purposely pounding my feet and doing some bridge repetitions to feel some tightness.

By Monday, I was at a pain level of 4 or 5; I had been experiencing 8-9. I was worried this wouldn't be good enough for my pressure test, but didn't want to reschedule it. (I think this was a dumb decision; I should I pushed it back until my symptoms were fully there.)

On Tuesday morning Matt and I drove down to my doctor where the PA, Mark, would do my test. The worst part was the lidocaine injections to numb my calves. Talk about burning!

After that, Mark initially tested two compartments on each calf: the anterior and superficial posterior. He recorded the initial readings. I could feel pressure against my skin and a little "pop" when the needle went in, then another kind of pop when the needle came out. I didn't have any pain or discomfort, but there was definitely blood.

You can see where I was marked for injections and the holes where the pressure needle went in. Matt said it looked like Mark tried to insert the lidocaine needle and the pressure needle into the same holes each time; he was very careful and had awesome bedside manner, always telling me which leg he was working on and when to expect pressure, etc.

(Matt told me later that, even though he is not squeamish and was awake for his wisdom teeth removal, he could not have had this test done. The needle is a pretty wide gauge and he said he could see me skin denting and pushing in before the needle finally popped through the skin.)

After the initial readings (which sounded low to me, although one compartment was already at the 15mgm reading) I ran on the treadmill. I made the mistake of cranking up the speed and the incline, so I was tired out by the time 20 minutes rolled around and called it quits even though my legs didn't necessarily hurt...they were just tired.

What is this face I'm giving Matt?

I mean, maybe they hurt? It was hard to tell with the numbing agent and the incline; I felt like I didn't even know where my body should be at this point, or how much pain they would need to get a good reading. I would say I was at about a 4 after 20 minutes.

Mark inserted the pressure needle back into each compartment twice more, once after a minute of rest and again after four more minutes. He used the same entry-hole each time, so I wouldn't have a bunch.

The readings weren't very high, from what I could tell. (I think the highest at this point was 17mgm, and we were looking for 20-30). I never heard "Holy crap!" or anything, and he wanted me to go back on the treadmill so he could test one more compartment on each leg.

He gave me more lidocaine so he could test the deep posterior compartment, then put me back on the treadmill for ten more minutes. By this time, my lower legs felt numb. It was really hard to tell if I was having pain and tightness or not.

He tested the last compartment on each leg. The left deep posterior read very high, but it was jumping around a lot (26-36). Mark removed the needle to recalibrate it to 0, then inserted it again. I'm not sure if the final reading was high or not. By this time I was feeling too despondent to ask; I was sure the results weren't going to be conclusive.

Mark and his assistant got me cleaned me up, and told me Dr. Guerra would review the results and get back to me when he returned from vacation. And that was it!

For reference, on the left leg, you can see where all three pressures were taken.

My legs are pretty sore now, especially in the deep posterior area, but I haven't even needed Advil or ice. I'm a good healer.

The whole thing took a few hours, including waiting-room time, and went smoothly, but I am absolutely sure the results won't be conclusive. I honestly don't know if I'll be able to do this test again due to cost...but I am hoping they will still consider treating me based on other factors.

So, that's that for now. Hopefully I'll hear back soon with the next step in the plan. In the meantime, I'm sorry for my absence, and I hope you all have been doing well. I've tried to keep up with many of you on Instagram and Facebook; my heart just can't take running blogs at the moment.

ABK

A Calf Update - Hopeful News!

This past Monday, I saw my new doctor for my calves and the experience was exactly what I'd been hoping for!

When I first arrived, the parking lot was overflowing and the waiting room was packed. I immediately felt that I'd picked a doctor in high demand, and that's always a good sign. They also charged me up front, so I don't have to stress about getting a ridiculous bill unexpectedly in the mail. I appreciate that.

First, I had x-rays done on both calves. The technician was friendly and super competent. Then, he took me into an exam room and an assistant took my history. As she finished up, Dr. Guerra came in. I was never left alone to wait in the exam room. (Hence, no pictures!)

I trusted Dr. Guerra on the spot. He sat across from me and listened earnestly to my symptoms, asked good questions, and then examined my calves. I felt listened to and taken seriously.

He has worked with the NHL, MLB, and universities, too. I think I found a good one!

He told me I'm describing classic symptoms of chronic exertional compartment syndrome and that my X-rays were clear. He feels certain CECS is the right diagnosis. He told me about the tests he wants to do: we'll be testing the posterior compartments of both calves and the anterior compartment of my right leg as well.

My gait gets very clompy when the tightness comes on and I get to the point where I can't push through it. On my last run, I noticed definite swelling in my calves and right ankle. 

He plans to do the test three times, once at rest, once a minute after finishing a treadmill run and developing symptoms, and then again five minutes post-run. He told me running on the treadmill means the symptoms might take longer to show up, and suggested I find one to practice on so I get an idea of how long I'll need to run for the test. 

I'm sure they're not measuring PSI but I'm not sure what exactly they call it. I just know they're looking for numbers above 15 (resting) or between 20 and 30 after running.

He then explained how the surgery would work.

You know how the first doctor was all, "The scars will horrify you!"? Dr. Guerra was the opposite of alarmist. He said, "You've probably seen photos online and that is NOT what your scars will look like. We do a two-inch incision and release the fascia along the entire length of the compartment through that. It takes about an hour."

These are my Sub-30 friend Kristin's scars from her CECS surgery. One healed well and one didn't. But they don't look like Google images at ALL, and these are scars I could happily live with if it means I can run.

He plans to do one leg at a time to make sure I respond well to it, but I am hoping I'll be able to convince him to do both at once so I can recover faster. I am a good healer!

I am waiting for an exact date because the test needs to be scheduled in coordination with the adjoined physical therapy office, but it looks like it will be done June 5th or 7th, so hopefully that means surgery could happen by early July.

I am so relieved to have found a doctor who wants to move forward and really help me. I wish I hadn't wasted precious time and money on the first guy! But it'll all be worth it in the end if this finally gets figured out.

I'm looking at a few more months before I'm "fixed" at this rate, but in the grand scheme of things, that's nothing. It means my dreams of running into my 90s are still viable, and that's priceless and absolutely worth the wait.

Thank you guys SO MUCH for being so supportive throughout this ordeal. It's been wonderful to have people to talk to who get it.

ABK

Friday Five: Pros and Cons

For today's Friday Five with Fairytales and Fitness, I bring you the Pros and Cons of running again...with some news at the end!

1. Pro: Having control and variety back in my workouts! Circuits get so redundant, and I hate having my choice of workout limited by injury. The freedom to choose what I want to do to get my sweat on, and the chance to change my daily workout pattern, has been wonderful.

2. Con: My pain is coming back. For the first week or two I barely had any. Then I started noticing it around 1.5 miles into my runs. This week it was really bad before I was even a mile in. But on the bright side of that, it means when I go to get my next round of tests, I know my symptoms will be present and that means the tests won't be in vain.

Nature, I missed you!

3. Pro: I missed being outside! Even though it's officially HOT (we're seeing high humidity and temps in the 90s already) I'm really enjoying getting some fresh air with my exercise. I missed it. That being said...

4. Con: I forgot that timing kind of sucks for running at the end of the school year. It's often too hot and sunny to run right after work, and by the time it's nice out - usually about 30 minutes before sunset, around 7:30pm - I've spent a couple hours lounging around and it's kind of hard to peel myself up off the couch.

I knew the hardest part of starting up again would be the summer temperatures...

5. Pro: My head feels so clear and awesome these days. Even though my body is struggling, I am benefiting mentally from being back to running. I just feel so much happier and more stable. I'm sleeping better. I just all-around feel more at ease.

A friend in one of my running groups posed a question about body image, and the conversation that got going led me to this realization: because running changed how I feel about my body, it also helped change how I literally see it. Running was a major tool in overcoming a variety of unhealthy habits, and I hadn't noticed how generally down I was feeling while I took time off.

I'm sure Matt and my friends have noticed!

So, the good news to end this post! I called my insurance company to check on whether a real pressure test for CECS would be covered (it will be, but it'll go toward my deductible) and I set up an appointment for May 22nd with a doctor who does the full test and whose website literally says:

I'm feeling hopeful! It definitely seems like "just stop running" isn't going to be this doctor's first suggestion.

What are your pros and cons of running?

ABK