My First Skirt

How's this for something a little different for today's Tuesdays on the Run link up? About a month ago it was my turn to share my "first skirt" story on Skirt Sports's blog. It was a fun experience to write for a different blog and to contribute to the Skirt community.

If you're interested in reading my post about getting my first skirt, click below!

Click here to read the full story!

Looking back on this experience, I realized that wearing my running skirts will always be a connection to my mom and my first marathon. It's funny how even the simplest material things can evoke so many memories and emotions, and take on more than just their physical meaning.

(By the way, if you want to treat yourself, Skirt Sports is having their 70% off sale right now, and as always you can use ABK20 on regularly priced items for a 20% discount, too. I wish I lived somewhere colder because their Toasty collection looks amazing.)

Tell me about a simple gift you've received that's taken on more meaning for you.

ABK

Post-Race Thoughts

Thank you all so much for your support on my recap! I have to confess something here: I was worried about admitting I had run the full! After I made such a big deal out of choosing not to, I didn't want you all to think I'd purposely lied to make the reveal more dramatic or something.

Is that dumb?

Anyway, this week I've been enjoying a post-race glow. A few things have crossed my mind, some of them pretty random.

1. It's nice to feel sore after a race, especially a marathon! After BDR, I recovered very quickly and didn't have much soreness. Monday and Tuesday I definitely felt A1A in my ankles, knees, hips, and quads...it's the feeling of accomplishment!

(This video is never not funny!)

2. I have this weird feeling that A1A was the marathon my first could have been. If you guys recall, Space Coast training went well but I was on cold medicine during the race that led to crazy calf cramps I'd never experienced before. I think if not for that, my Space Coast performance would have been similar to A1A. There's no real point in making this comparison, but I almost feel like A1A was the marathon I've been aiming for ever since I first decided to run one.

Funny that I almost chose not to run it.

3. I haven't had a problem calling myself a marathoner, but now that I've run three, I really feel I've earned the title - especially because I've gotten the PR and the performance I've been wanting. I finally feel proud of a marathon I've run, and I didn't realize until now how important and fulfilling that would be for me.

Third time's the charm.

4. I'm almost happier with BDR now that A1A worked out. In a way, it turned BDR into a training run. It definitely tested my mental strength and prepared me to suffer in a way Space Coast didn't. Space Coast was my first, so it was automatically wonderful; I had nothing to compare it to, and I was just amazed and glad I had finished. BDR left a bad taste in my mouth, but it humbled me and strengthened me. I'm grateful for that awful experience now! It's also a great reminder that often success isn't a linear path; sometimes we have to struggle and fail before we can succeed.

5. I think when I do eventually run another full, I'm not going to be really specific here about which it is. Obviously I'll post my training, because that's why I have a blog, but maybe I'll keep mum on the specific race. Keeping A1A "casual" really seemed to help me mentally and kept me focused on why I was running it in the first place.

6. I'm having a hard time parting with my temporary tattoos...especially the pacing one! I know it's silly, but looking at it reminds me of what I finally accomplished.

I did finally try to remove it on Tuesday, but without much luck.

7. I am proof that what I've been saying about failure is true: it doesn't define us, but it can make us stronger and better. There's no shame in failing, because it means you actually took a risk and tried, and in the end, if you learned from it, then even failure can be a success.

8. I'm feeling weirdly motivated right now in the sense that now that I know I can run a faster marathon, I want to keep doing it. Sub-5:00 feels almost doable now. But I'm 100% committed to shorter distances this year. I don't want to give up long runs completely because when I eventually do another full, I'd like to be a stronger runner, and that means keeping a good base; plus, I need to get faster at all distances. (And I want to get Elizabeth to 15 miles!) I think being faster and having a good foundation is really going to be fundamental to my continued growth as a runner.

Number eight is really important; it marks the first time that I'm making a decision in my training that will hopefully truly impact me in the long-term. It's also the first time I'm giving myself permission to dream about being a "faster" runner. It's a scary goal because it feels unreachable, but I'm determined to try.

That said, I have no idea how to start, so I'm going to need to do some research about how to get faster when you don't have a goal race in mind! I just want to get faster over all. I can't picture myself as an 8-minute-miler or anything like that, but I'd like to see if the vision I do have of myself - as slow and steady - can change.

Any advice on learning to be faster?
How has running new, challenging distances changed your perspective? 

ABK

It's certain. I will.

At this time last year, I was packing for the Space Coast Marathon. I was full of turkey and pie, but I had eaten in moderation. I had the specter of my first marathon looming over my head; it wasn't necessarily a bad kind of looming, but it was unavoidable.

With BDR just around the corner, I've found myself thinking about how my training last year - and my anticipation of my first marathon - was so vastly different than this year's cycle.

Last year...

...I was in constant awe of myself as I hit new milestones, which I now realize was borne of a tiny seed of self-doubt.

...I surprised myself when I realized I could run twenty miles. That run solidified for me that I could run a marathon, and that I would. In a way, training successfully was the greatest accomplishment; the marathon was big, but getting there was bigger.

...My highest mileage month was 79, and that was during the final month of training; I didn't taper properly because I got sick a couple weeks before race day, so my last long run was that enlightening 20 miles mentioned above.

...The moment of clarity - when I knew I'd definitely complete Space Coast and become a marathoner - was like an explosion bursting; this year's has been a steady, warm candle that refuses to go out.

This year...

...I went into training knowing what I'm capable of and feeling confident I would succeed from day one.

...I didn't feel any doubt. It took me awhile to get into the swing of things, and I leaned pretty heavily on Kristin and my virtual buddies to get me going after Archie passed, but there was never a moment that I thought I wouldn't run BDR.

...My 100 mile month in October gave me the confidence and energy I needed to continue building until taper, and then to taper correctly. I've done two 18-milers and one 20-miler, and I did two of those three very-long-runs alone. (The second 18-miler, which I did with Kristin as part of the Fort Myers Half, was actually closer to 19.7 miles.)

...I know I'm slower, but I'm also more consistent.

...I feel calm and certain.

I do think marathon training changes you. Tackling training for weeks on end, building mileage, conquering fear...it all builds a kind of quiet confidence. I don't feel invincible or superior in any way, but I feel like I know myself. I know how I react under pressure, under stress, when I'm in pain, when I'm doubting myself. And I now know how to handle myself in those situations.

My internal dialogue has changed. "I don't know if I can" has changed to "I will." This shift was subtle and happened in stages, but even in my darkest moments, the feeling of inevitability is there. It's very powerful and cannot be argued with. It's certain. I will.

How has training for long distance races changed you?
What lessons have you learned from running this past year?

ABK

Getting Crafty

What does a 20-something teacher a week away from winter break do on her Friday night? Crafts, of course!

Admittedly I'm not a very organized person, but I really wanted a way to put all the photos and memorabilia from the marathon into one place. I had so many photos, etc, to keep that it seemed like overkill to frame and display them all; a scrapbook seemed like the way to go.

After work I stopped by Target to pick up supplies (and let me just say, the snowbirds were out in full force and I spent a good ten minutes in the parking lot laughing myself into tears at some of the "driving" I witnessed), then spent the rest of the night diligently piecing together my memories.

Photos and supplies are ready to go!

I took a break for dinner and observed the mess I had made of the living room. Being crafty isn't tidy, that's for sure.

A work in progress.

Matt and I watched Edge of Tomorrow while I finished my project. I was pleasantly surprised. I may think Tom Cruise is a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but he's still one of my favorite actors.

I'm really happy with how the scrapbook turned out. I fit in the photos I liked most, my D-tag, notes of encouragement, and pages from the welcome packet. Plus, the blog came in handy; I printed out my recap and added it to the end.

Bart Yasso and the Sub 30 Club got their own pages.

A few pages from the finished book.

Now I can annoy guests by insisting they look through the scrapbook. Isn't that the main purpose of photo albums and the like? The bad news is that I may have found another hobby I want to take up...putting the book together was really fun and relaxing!

How do you save and store your race day memories?

How do you typically spend a Friday night?

Are you a Tom Cruise fan?

ABK

I Love Running!

Today, I went for my first run since the marathon.

It. Was. Glorious!

I felt so free and happy. I didn't have any pain in my foot, the cold air gave me a little extra energy, and I hadn't realized how much I missed running on the golf course! The whole run was like being reunited with my best friend!

After my run, Sanya Richards-Ross's voice came over Nike+ and congratulated me on a good workout. I kind of laughed; I did not consider this run a workout. Physically it had all the makings of a workout, but mentally and emotionally it was such a treat. 

I put my shoes on and realized my D-chip was still there! That gave me a little extra pep in my step!

It made me pause and kind of think about how I look at running. I've always said that I don't like working out, and I still mean that. I just don't enjoy "working out" in general. It's why I've never been a consistent gym-goer; it's why I often skip cross-training days even though I know they're good for me.

But oooh, how I love running!

I guess it still counts as a workout (physically, at least), but I just don't put it in that category!

In other news, I got a coupon code for my professional race pictures and ordered them. Here I am crossing the finish line!

This picture absolutely fills me with joy.

I'm going to order prints and make a scrapbook. I can't wait to get started on it!

Do you put workouts you love in the same "working out" category as other workouts?

Does that question even make sense?

  

ABK

Post-Marathon Recovery

It just doesn't seem right that I've been talking about the Space Coast Marathon as an upcoming race and then, boom, suddenly it's in the past and I'm talking recovery! I'm not ready for the fanfare to die down!

The newest additions to our medals shelves!

Luckily for me, recovery is just an extended chance to celebrate my accomplishment. I literally slept until after 12:30 on Monday, and when I finally got out of bed I was walking almost normally.

Still, after going back to work, I could tell my legs were still fatigued. I was only too happy to use that gift card Kristin gave me a few weeks ago!

Besides a big knot in the calf that seized up the most, the masseuse also found a really painful one in my lower back. Guess I need more core work!

I also had the wonderful surprise, upon returning to school, of seeing flowers from an old student of mine! She must have stopped by while I was still out and dropped them off, but the minute I saw the handwriting on the card I knew who they were from. She goes to school out of state, which makes her taking the time to think of me that much more special.

Seriously beyond thoughtful. They immediately made my first day back better!

Besides rolling, planking, and volleyball, I've been resting this week. (I do think "ready position" and volleyball-related squats have been great recovery tools!) My foot is still sore but I know exactly what's wrong with it and I know all it needs is rest, so even though I really want to run again already, I'm going to take at least a full 10 days off.

I went through the video clips Matt took of the race and pulled this adorable screenshot of Kristin and her daughter running a bit with me:

...and then Matt created a little video to commemorate the whole occasion!

Click here for the video! I can't get it to embed.

We've also ordered my new 26.2 car sticker! I didn't want to buy one beforehand and jinx anything, and I'm very picky about how my bumper stickers look so it took me a few days to decide on one. I'll be replacing my original 13.1, too, because I want a sticker for both distances but I want them to match.

This isn't my car, but those will be my stickers!

Over all, recovery is going much more smoothly than I expected. I'm so relieved that I still want to run, because I was really worried that I'd face burnout post-race, or at least the blues...but I haven't really dealt with either! (But maybe that's just because I still can't believe I ran a marathon! When will it sink in already?!)

What's your favorite method for recovery after a big race?

Do you get post-race burnout or blues?

Can you believe I ran a freaking marathon?! I can't!

ABK

Space Coast Marathon 2014

I have no idea how to start this recap. Part of the problem is that it all still feels like a dream. I guess the easiest way to shake that feeling is to start with the beginning!

Saturday

Matt and I made the drive to Cape Canaveral and went straight to the race expo. I had been having waves of anxiety on and off in the car, but getting to the expo seemed to push my mind into a state of denial for the purpose of self-preservation. (That feeling lasted all night and until about mile 9 of the race the next morning.)

At the expo, I picked up my bib and shirt and met Bart Yasso. A few runners from the Sub30 Club were running the half (or had just driven in to cheer, which was beyond nice!) , and we all met up for pictures and dinner.

Actually, I'll just stop at the finish line. Thanks.

I spent some time before bed watching the motivational videos friends had shared, and even though people had warned me I might not sleep, I slept very well.

I borrowed a line from Steph's awesome card for motivation the next morning.

Sunday

At 4am, I rolled out of bed and got dressed. Had breakfast. Went down to catch the 5am shuttle. At this point I felt nervous but no more than usual for a race. I just had that low-grade anxiety that comes along with lining up at the start.

Breakfast. Gu and half an Immodium not pictured.

Despite the shuttle running a touch late, I had plenty of time at Cocoa Village to use the bathroom and get warmed up. One complaint I have about the marathon is that there are no set corrals. There are signs with average paces and you line up near your desired section. It was ridiculously crowded and everyone starts at once, so there are no waves.

I wish it had stayed this chilly during the race!

Anyway, I stripped down to my racing clothes and got in line just behind the 10:00 pace sign. Matt had taken the shuttle with me, and just as the countdown was getting ready to begin, my mom found us! I gave her a quick hug and then we were off! 

Ready to go!

I was keeping my eye peeled for Adria, but didn't see her the entire race. However, Sean found me before mile 1 and we ran the first four or five together. The entire course was along the same road down Cocoa Beach, right on the water, and that was really amazing for the view and for spectating, but it was really narrow in some places! There were tons of pace groups, including Galloway pacers, and they took up a lot of space and I got stuck in their crowd at one point. (Again, staggered waves would have really benefited this race.)

Waving and tucking gum back into my pocket.

Mile 2 or 3 with Sean.

I felt the lingering effects of my cold early on. Luckily, Matt and my mom were able to get to multiple stops along the way to cheer me on, and at one point I told Matt to have my inhaler ready for me at the next stop. I was having trouble catching my breath, and I knew before the halfway point that I would have to ease my pace considerably. My A-goal was out the window; but I was at peace with not being able to control certain elements (like the weather, which was much warmer than planned).

There were times during this race that I absolutely hated running but I kept a smile on my face and I really think that helped.

Around mile 11 I saw Kristin and her daughter Claire for the first time. They had a few different signs along the course, including  RUN LIKE THERE ARE DEMENTORS CHASING YOU and COMPARED TO 8TH GRADERS, THIS IS CAKE. (Or something along those lines.) 

The halfway-point brought us through Cocoa Village again, where the spectators were the heaviest. I heard my name a few times as people read my bib. Some of the good signs I saw said: GO RANDOM STRANGER; I'VE BEEN TRAINING FOR MONTHS TO HOLD THIS SIGN/YOU THINK YOU'RE TIRED? I'VE BEEN HOLDING THIS SIGN FOR HOURS;YOU RUN BETTER THAN CONGRESS; TOUCH HERE FOR A POWER BOOST; and...

Some people set up alcoholic drink stops in their yards along the way, too, and their signs were pretty hilarious and colorful. (Think along the lines of DON'T TRUST A FART, etc.)

I kept moving until about mile 16. At that point, my calves were cramping and seizing really badly and I needed to pause to stretch. I texted Matt that I wanted half a banana, which I ate the next time I saw him around mile 18.

Double-fisting my water cups. One for my head, one for my belly.

I don't know if it was mental or not, but the banana seemed to really help. My calves still hurt, but not nearly as badly. At that point I just told myself, you have 8 miles to go, and the faster you do this, the faster it's over. You can do 8 miles. I buckled down and just kept moving forward.

(Sean told me later he passed me on the turnaround at this point but I was totally in the zone and didn't see him.)

The stretch from mile 19 to 21 didn't allow for many spectators, but I was feeling okay. Somehow after mile 20 I just felt sure I'd finish. But it was good that I saw Matt, mom, and Kristin again at mile 22. Kristin jogged alongside me briefly, then Matt took over and he ran with me - in jeans, no less - until the next mile marker. At that point I felt the tears threatening. I tried to explain to him how hard it was to breathe and how mentally exhausted I was, but I couldn't quite explain it. At this point I was stopping every half mile or so to stretch my calves, but I realized I had a really horrendous pain in the top of my foot (where I got injured last year), and stopping made it hurt more. So at mile 23 I thanked Matt but told him I needed to finish this myself.

Why yes, this is proof that I have the best husband ever!

I spent the last three miles biting the inside of my cheek and my fingers to take my mind off the pain in my foot. Walking hurt more than running so I "ran" at a ridiculously slow pace. I stopped myself from crying multiple times. I had never had to push through so much pain, but I knew if I caved in and cried even a little, I wouldn't be able to hold it together and finish, and there was no way I wasn't going to do this. So I gritted my teeth and dug in.

Magically, around mile 25, I broke through that dark tunnel of doubt and pain. I felt an almost physical pull in my gut. Like...people tell you to dig deep and I had literally never felt what that was like before this, but it's just as much physical as mental. It really is. I also saw Laura (one of the Subbers) at this point and that gave me another great boost.

I saw the mile 26 marker and just PUSHED. The last quarter mile was around a cobblestone "track" and when the volunteers told me "just around the corner!" I knew they meant it.

Ecstatic to be finishing! Official time: 5:41:25.

I heard my name being called by hundreds of strangers as I rounded the last corner. I barely held back the tears until I crossed. The first person I saw was Kristin, and I immediately started sobbing as I said, "I can't believe I did it!" (Luckily she had tissues because I'd used all mine on the course.)

Literally the first thing I asked for was a Coke. So random but really perfect.

For awhile I just sat and recovered. We took some photos. We found Sean. I texted Adria to see how she had done, then we drove to her dad's so I could shower, as we had planned.

Kristin and Claire brought me flowers and a balloon!

Sean met his goal and finished in 4:38.

Adria met her goal, too, finishing in 4:23.

I spent the next few hours on the car ride home trying to put down my thoughts, but everything still felt totally dreamlike and deflated. I think this was a symptom of post-race blues...I spent seven months training for this and now suddenly it was over. But I'm not sad or down today. In fact, I feel wonderful! I'm in total awe. I've accomplished something I literally never thought I'd be able to. I will never doubt myself as a runner again.

I've tried to breakdown some of my main thoughts here:

• Truth: Marathons are way harder than people can really explain. How some people manage to run them with apparent ease is beyond me! The last four miles are SO HARD mentally. I'd compared them to how you feel in school looking forward to vacation: the closer vacation gets, the slower time seems to go. You know the end is near, and yet it's so far.

• The club: I surround myself with runners, many of whom have run marathons, so I have this idea in my head that everyone runs them. Really, that's not the case. A very small percentage of people have run a marathon, and now I'm part of that percentage...which is just insane. But the feeling that "everyone has done this" actually made going through with it easier.

• Gratitude: I just...I came back from the race and had 59 notifications on Facebook, tons of texts, people in the Sub30 group asking about my progress and keeping each other updated...Not to mention a live cheering squad there at the race, following me along the entire path. I cannot express my gratitude. I get choked up just thinking about it. I'm proud of myself for doing my training mostly alone, but I don't know if I could have really run the race that way. Being surrounded by that kind of love and support is indescribably amazing and humbling.

• The bad: My asthma (due to my cold) gave me problems early on and I had to readjust my pace (and my goals) after the first eight miles. That sucked. It was also much warmer than expected. These two factors were the most detrimental to my race. (Nike+ glitched up so I don't even know what my splits were.) I hated having to dodge walkers who didn't move to the right, especially later in the race when dodging means wasting energy. Also, walkers in the finishing chute. I was dodging people even as I crossed the line. Finally, course-wise, the race was a bit hillier than advertised.

• The good: I'm honestly so happy with my experience despite the setbacks. I hit my C-goal, and now I understand why people tell you not to have a goal at all when you run your first marathon. It's just impossible to fathom what you'll feel if you've never done it before. The aid stations were plentiful and well-stocked. The spectators were amazing. I didn't chafe at all. I finished upright and moving forward at a run.

• The future: I need to cross-train more consistently and do more than one 20-miler. I'd like to find a flatter and colder course for my next full. And yes, there will be another. I know in better conditions I can attain my A-goal. (Just compare: my 20-miler training run took 3:37. I hit 20 miles in the race at 4:15. That alone speaks volumes.)

• Technical stuff: I forgot to turn my Wi-Fi on so Nike+ glitched and I don't have a clear idea of my splits. I ate Gu pre-race, then at miles 8, 15, and 20, plus half a banana at 18. (My mouth was rejecting solid food of any kind so I swallowed the banana with water as if it were a pill!) I only drank water on the course except for a tiny bit of Gatorade at mile 24. I had two Lifesavers and two sticks of gum. I listened to music from mile 5 to mile 26; podcasts just couldn't distract me enough.

• Gear:

I was incredibly happy with my outfit of choice: 5.5" Nike Epic Run shorts, Pro Compression socks and sleeves, Fitletic belt, Asics Kayanos, Old Navy tank, Target C9 bra, Sweat Pink Bic Band, and no-name sunglasses.

 I am...thrilled. Just thrilled. And now that I've reflected, maybe it will all really start to sink in. I am a marathoner.

ABK