Sanibel Island 10k Race for FISH

Today's 10k was better than I could have hoped! My original goals for the race were to 1) run the entire thing and 2) finish in no more than 65 minutes.

The 10k Route

I've never run a race of this distance. I've run 5ks and the one Half, but have only covered 6+ miles on training runs, when we keep the pace much slower. I was anxious.

However, the day started out beautifully. The weather has been in the lower 70s in the mornings this week, and today was no different. By the time the race started at 7:30, the sun was peeking over the trees. It promised to be a cloudless, sunny day. Still, the route on the island was tree-lined and shady. I never felt overheated, swamped in humidity, or like I was burning.

K and me pre-race

I was nervous before race time, but when we finally lined up at the start, I was filled with confidence. After all, last weekend we had had our 8-mile long-run. I could do 6.2, even if I kept the pace slow and steady instead of "racing".

K and I stayed together for the beginning, but the crowd was tight and eventually we ran on our own. I'm always fine with this, because it allows me to follow my own pace and it allows K to be as competitive as she wants. Anyway, I've been having some IT band pain this week in my knees, and I had to wear both braces today. Around 2.5-miles my knees started to feel better, but I was also starting to have that weird mental-block that comes up in races. I knew I was nearing the 3-mile mark, and if this were any of my previous races, that would mean I was done. But really, I was less than halfway to the end!

Luckily, when I passed the 5k sign (which had a clock and an actual mat to check your time), seeing 29:16 spurred me onward. The race took us over a hard-packed sand road for the turnaround, and I saw K when she was around 5 miles and I was coming up on four. The middle of the race was the easiest for me. I found my stride, felt strong, enjoyed my surroundings, and was so overwhelmed with a feeling of strength and positivity that I could have cried. Especially after how I've been feeling this week, it was just so wonderful to be out there in the sunshine on this beautiful island, surrounded by nature. It was running at its best.

K helping me finish the race

After the turn-around, I was having conversations in my head. There was about 1.25 miles left to go and I had to urge myself not to drop down my pace. I had my watch on and was able to keep a pretty good eye on my goal, and seeing that I was on pace to come in at an hour kept me going.

The best part of the run, though, was the last half mile. The end of a race is always hard for me until the last quarter mile, where I usually pick up the pace for me finishing sprint, but this time I kept pushing myself to pass people. Then, with about a tenth to go, K met up with me. She ran with me, yelling for me to catch this guy in front of me, urging me to push harder. I think my finishing sprint was the fastest I've ever done. It was ugly - I know, because M recorded it from the sidelines - but I crossed the line at the same time as the guy she wanted me to catch. I could hear her over the crowd yelling, "You did it!"

Pushing toward the end

I really cannot express how much it means to me to have such an amazing running partner. I mean, there are a million reasons she's a great friend, but as far as running goes, I couldn't ask for more. K has always come back to get me at the end of our big races to push me more than I can push myself. I'm not naturally competitive, and she gives me that extra boost I need. I never finish a race alone. In a crowd of screaming people, I can always hear her voice over the rest.

I was exuberant at the end. We got finisher's medals and were both completely jazzed. K finished in 53 minutes or so, and I slaughtered my goal by 7 minutes! This race has left me with a good feeling about the Half in November. We've come such a long way from just a month or two ago; I can hardly wrap my head around it!

Post-race with our medals!

The day was made even more special when I saw that my sister had competed in her first 10k today, too. She signed up last minute, so this was a nice surprise. We ran our first 10ks together, in spirit, in a way. I was feeling so overwhelmed and happy with everything that I was a little teary-eyed as I washed up post-lunch. Everything was just...perfect. I couldn't have asked for better circumstances, weather, route, or companions.

My stats for this race are as follows: 58:41 (58:27 adjusted time), 214/357 place overall (not my best, but whatever), 95/199 women, 5k time of 29:16. The successes of this race and last weekend's race leave me feeling exhilarated and totally, completely just...happy!

I think I may be in love with this distance! Our next race is at the end of this month. It's an 8k, so I'm really excited to see how well we do on a shorter distance, especially with a few more bridge and long-runs under our belts.

ABK

Addiction and Cure

Author's Note: This blog entry discusses running as an addiction that affects my personality, and as a cure for my depression. In discussing addiction and depression, I in no way wish to offend anyone. This is about my experience, my struggle, and my journey. Thanks for reading.

Addiction is a worrisome word most of the time. It calls to mind illicit activities, an inability to control one's urges, and a sense of impending doom as destructive habits go unchecked. Veteran runners will tell you about the runner's high without any sense of irony or concern. Non-runners will roll their eyes, because surely this is just something runners talk about; it likely doesn't exist and is just a figment of a deluded mind.

But the runner's high is real, caused by endorphins and hormones released during exercise; and if the high is real, then it makes sense that - like other things that get you high - running can be addicting.

I have written before about becoming a total nightmare on days I don't run.  This still holds true for the most part, although since increasing my mileage and consistently running in the morning, I find that rest days aren't as difficult to deal with. My body craves rest, and I don't really mind taking those days off anymore. However, I am noticing different side-effects of running consistently.

For example, this week we ran Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. We took Tuesday off. We were supposed to run Wednesday, but you know what they say about "the best laid plans". I didn't feel guilty about taking Tuesday and Wednesday off, but my mood underwent the kind of subtle and horrific change that can only be attributed to not getting a fix when your body is screaming for one.

I was lethargic all day. I was irritable with my students. I came home after work and wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep for a year. I was despondent; I clung to M and barely held back tears that, if pressed, I could not have explained the cause for.

Here's the thing. I've dealt with depression. I don't mean the kind of depression where you're kind of sad but a good day with friends pulls you out of it. I'm talking consistent, unshakeable, deep depression. The kind that leads down dark roads paved with unhealthy habits and addictions, concerned parents, baffled friends, helpless therapists, medications that prove useless, etc. I've read some interesting articles about running and depression, specifically that running can "cure" depression, but that those who choose this route may need to rack up 40+ miles a week in order to stave off the monster.

Anyway, on days I don't run, that deep, gnawing, unfathomable depression that has no immediate cause (and therefore no immediate solution) threatens to wake from its hibernation. It's barely a shadow of what I've dealt with in the past, but...well, slippery slopes, and all that.

So yes, running is an addiction for me. It's one that keeps me sane. On the days I think I'm too tired to run, I sleep an extra two hours but then struggle through a day filled with fatigue and short fuses. My students, who often bring me joy, irk me. They notice it, too, because kids are observant, and because they're tactless, they ask, "Are you getting sick? Are you tired? Are you okay? You look sick. You look tired."

On the days I force myself out of bed, I lose two hours of sleep but go to work feeling refreshed and buoyant. The energy lasts all day.

Off-days that are planned ahead are much easier to deal with, but the days that sneak up on us because of circumstances outside our control never turn out to be good days.

Running has become a wonderful drug for me, but I have to worry, because like any addiction, there are negative side-effects. This week I've had some tenderness in my ankles and knees; what if I injure myself and have to take time off? What if I (like many runners before me) ignore the signs that I need to cut back a bit? I could cross train at the gym on the rowing machine, the elliptical, the bike, in the pool...but I know that part of the high I get from running is from running. I may still be getting exercise in, but nothing affects me like running does.

This was meant to be a lighthearted post, and I think it got away from me. But I've been reflecting on the past ten months (oh my gosh, has it been that long since I made this resolution?!), and my relationship with running has changed and changed again. It's amazing how important it's become to me, and I feel a sense of complacent pride when I think down the road five, ten, fifteen years and know I will still be running.

When I think back to high school, when I half-heartedly walked the mile run in close to 20 minutes and was struggling with a beast of a depressive nature, I can hardly believe the lifestyle change I've somehow managed to make. It used to look impossible; it was a mountain I'd never conquer. But today I can credit my health, my happiness, my solid relationships, and my clear head to running. It's truly been a miracle drug.

ABK

Weekly Report: Oct. 1 - Oct. 7

This week I didn't upload my .6 mile warmup pre-5k, so the numbers show a little lower than they were in reality. This was a week where our schedule got messed up and we thought it would be "light", but I'm beginning to notice that long runs obliterate any possibility of running a scant 12 or 15 miles in a week. Case in point, we ran 12 (including our race), which was our "light" week, but then did a long run, bringing us to 20. I'm very happy to stay around 20 miles, although I think by Half-time, we'll be around 25 or more.

After our 8-mile long run Sunday my knees have been a little twinge-y. They ached in the last few miles of that run, and then this morning we did 2.6 and they ached during that, too. It's not my IT band; the ache is central to the knee cap and a bit low. I need to look up some stretches and get back to the gym - I only went once last week.

Next week we're taking a break from an official long run to run our first 10k. Very excited! I'm feeling really confident about November's Half.

Also on the wish list: a good Turkey Trot near home (post-Half) to run with my sister.

Finally, a shout-out is due for SF and DC, two friends of mine who ran (respectively) their first full marathon and their second Half. SF completed her marathon is just over 5 hours, which is super impressive to me, and DC killed her Half PR by 8 minutes! Excellent work, ladies!

ABK