A Run Like That

I don't know what got into me today, but I wasn't feeling right. It started after classes had ended, when my planning period began. I sat down to get some grading done and realized it's only Monday.

We had our first volleyball tryout today, which was really fun...but by the time I got home I was feeling a bit melancholy. It took me longer than I planned to get going for my short recovery run tonight; by the time I got outside, the sun was well below the horizon.

I spent a little time watching that lone heron.

The moon was a perfect silver sliver overhead; the trees burned orange with the last rays of the sun. As it grew darker, frogs crossed my path in droves. The night had cooled. I was the only one on the course.

At one point, I closed my eyes and ran with my arms outstretched.

I used the first mile to warm up, to feel a little alive, to shake off whatever was weighing me down.

At the end, I flew. I pushed my last mile into sub-9s and held it there. I felt my mind and body wake up and come alive...I breathed deeply, felt my lungs open, felt the blood rushing through my body. I felt weightless and free.

Sometimes we just need a run like that.

When's the last time you ran just for the love of it?

ABK

Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k

Saturday's race was a whole new experience. I've run races alone before, but it's been awhile, and I've always had at least one cheerleader at the end. But Friday M was working on my sister's car all day and night and was too exhausted to come to the race. (When I woke up at 6:30 to start getting ready, he was just finishing up and cleaning the garage. Talk about dedication!)

The race started a bit later this year, which was fine by me. It meant a chance to sleep in! And, because I've run this race before, I knew what to expect with getting there and finding parking, etc. I had my race packet already, and I didn't need to get to the venue as early as I would have in the past. This year, I remembered to run in memory of M's grandma, who passed away from breast cancer when M was in 8th grade.

I loved my bright neon for the race, but it was WAY too early/bright for a look at my face.

I don't know if wearing her name is what did it, but I was really emotional at the opening ceremonies this year.

My students tend to do the fun-run/walk for this race, and sure enough I passed a group of them on my way to the start line. It's always nice to see them involved in a good cause, up early on the weekends, and participating in an event like this. After chatting with the students, I went and did a warmup lap, about a quarter mile at a nice slow pace, and then did my stretches.

It was cold in the morning, but by the time the race began at 8:15, it was in the mid-60s and sunny. I was a little warm at certain times in the race; I really need to remember that I heat up really quickly, no matter how cold a run starts.

Anyway, I took it easy (or so I thought) in the first kilometer or so, then began to boost up my speed. I didn't worry about keeping pace with anyone or avoiding being passed; I just was true to myself. Being so familiar with the course was very helpful. I knew exactly where I usually tired out and was able to power through; I knew the upcoming turns and when we were nearing the end. Because there were no surprises, I was able to crank up my speed earlier than usual, and finished with a PR!

This is bittersweet, though. I really sprinted the end because I saw the clock was at 28:50, and my goal for 2013 is to break 29 in a 5k. But by the time I crossed, the clock read 29:07; my official adjusted time was 29:04. So I missed my goal by 5 seconds! At first this was discouraging, because if I had just kept my pace up in mile 2 I would have gotten it. But as a runner-friend pointed out later, being that close to my goal shows that I have some pretty crazy self-awareness going on, and I'm on target to meet the goal this year.

My stats ended up as: Adjusted time: 29:04; Adjusted place: 279/576 overall; Age group: 13/36; Female overall: 110/326.

Not too shabby at all! (The Fast and the Furriest race at the end of March runs on this same course, so I'm hoping that will be the one that brings me in under 29.)

I had a baby shower to go to post-race, so I didn't hang out long. BG has been a best friend since middle school, a bridesmaid of mine, and a runner. She's going to eventually write a guest post here about her half marathon in Africa, but obviously she has things on her mind right now other than writing.

Don't let that glow fool you...she is definitely ready to not be pregnant anymore lol

My sister and mom were at the baby shower, as well as other friends from the good ol' days. It was nice to reconnect, especially as I discovered one such friend lives in my neck of the woods! Small world! I'm looking forward to seeing more of her. She had been invited to "this running club on Tuesdays" but doesn't run; turns out it's the same group M and I go to (6 weeks to 6 miles), and I urged her to come along, so I hope to see her this week.

We three clean up pretty nicely.

Me, BG, and AP, who will hopefully make an appearance at the running group this week!

That evening, we went to dinner for M's dad's 60th birthday.

It's not a party-worthy picture if it's not dark and blurry!

What a packed and excellent weekend this was! I'm enjoying being busy, but I'm woefully behind on school work. Is it spring break yet?

ABK

The Truth About Effort

I read an article recently on social media and the effect it has on running. For the most part, I think facebook, twitter, this blog, and DailyMile keep me motivated and accountable for my training. But there's a weird phenomenon created by social media, and that's a false sense of knowledge of the inner workings of peoples' lives.

I read all kinds of articles that explain studies that show facebook depresses people because they never feel as popular as their friends. That looking at photos of parties/weddings/vacations of which we weren't a part causes us to feel our own lives are lacking. Of course, the studies also show that people only post photos of the good things in their lives, so what we see is completely incongruent with reality.

But this isn't just about being popular. Posting about workouts can be motivating to yourself and others, but it can also be misleading. I realized that recently as post-Thanksgiving guilt has friends seeking running tips. I've received multiple messages asking for tips/advice, and many of these friends seem to be under the impression that running is easy for me. They talk about seeing my runs on DailyMile, or the photos from my races, and they are both admiring and intimidated.

Both of these are silly reactions. Running is not easy for me. It never has been and never will be. Even my "easy" runs take effort. Even runs that go well and leave me feeling unstoppable are difficult. No matter the distance I'm running, a little more than halfway through I feel completely defeated and exhausted; it takes a lot of effort and self-talk to keep me going. If any factors are off, no amount of mental coaching can keep me going.

Couldn't even bring myself to 20 minutes

Today's run is a good example. I meant to go three or four miles at 7am, but I didn't get going until 8:15. It was still cool out, especially in the shade, but was warming up quickly in the sun. K had a race this morning that I wasn't feeling up for, so I was running alone for the first time in months. Because M had my car for an early-morning paddle-boarding adventure, and because it was late, I decided to just run from home, taking a well-worn path that is a constant mental battle because it bores me. All this week M has had a nasty cold, and it has finally rubbed off on me, so my breathing has been off and my head has been tight with congestion. Basically, I had a bunch of factors working against me, and three miles quickly became 1.8. Every step of this short, rather pathetic run was difficult. (On the bright side, my groin and knee felt fine!)

Considering this is our first week back after taking two weeks off, 14 miles for the week isn't bad (and I'm still going to try for a longer run tomorrow in much cooler weather), and my pace on this short, sad little run is perfectly good to me. I'm not letting this run get me down. But the point stands: running isn't effortless.

I think people new to running don't give themselves a chance to get better when the running itself doesn't get "easier"; if they don't start out at 8-minute miles and the ability to run for 30 minutes straight, they feel like they've failed. But running is about slowly building up and improving at your own rate. Friends may look at my running and see that - when in the midst of training - I'm hitting 20+ miles a week, but viewing those miles altogether is a lot different than running them one by one. A final weekly report shows the miles, but doesn't show the strain, sweat, and pain that goes into them.

What I'm trying to get at is that we all start somewhere, and we all have our off days. Running isn't about getting to a point where it's easy. Most runners, when they start to feel it's too easy, set a higher, more difficult goal to meet. Easy isn't what makes it worth it. I don't want people to think training is easy for me. It's a struggle. I have to force myself into it. I'm always glad I've gone once I'm done with a run, but I don't do this because it's effortless. Anything worth doing is going to be hard.

We shouldn't fear effort. We should embrace it. Running isn't easy; I do it anyway. I don't consider myself a good runner, a strong runner, or a fast runner, and I don't really want other people to think of me that way, either. I'm not proud of being "good"; there's less to be proud of if you don't have to work for it, in a way. I'm proud that, despite how hard running is for me, I do it anyway.

ABK

Inspiration: A Cycle

One of the best things about running and social networking is that your success can easily influence others. I can't tell you how many times over the past three/four years I've received messages from friends - some who were nearly off my radar and some I considered very close - telling me that my posts had inspired them to take up running themselves.

Now I see these people completing 5ks and half marathons and feel a wonderful sense of pride for them. I know what it is to succeed at such an accomplishment, to beat a PR or conquer a goal you never thought you'd meet. I am their biggest cheerleader.

And one of the most wonderful things about all of this isn't that I can take any sort of credit for their success (I can't, and would never attempt to); it's that their success then becomes inspiration for me.

These past two weeks have been brutal. The weather has been despicable, and the final two weeks of school are always stressful and busy. I was at school until 6:30pm Monday, 11pm Tuesday, and after 5:00 Wednesday through Friday. I put running aside to get my priorities straight and in order to get enough sleep. I wasn't really bothered by this; I knew I had to and I felt okay about it.

Then, this past weekend, a friend of mine ran her first Half (and kicked butt!), and another friend (who is rather new to running) messaged me for some advice and completed her second 5k with outstanding results compared to her first. These successes were the gentle urging that I needed to go out for a couple casual runs this week.

No hardcore training, no PRs, no long distances. Just casual, nice, stress-relieving runs for the purpose of being alone and clearing my head. I'm happier with two short runs this week than I was with the four long runs I completed three weeks ago, because my head was in the right space. My body didn't feel overtired; it felt strong. I felt strong.

Inspiration among runners is cyclical, and it comes from all kinds of runners. I love the tribe runners make up, where we cheer each other on and truly understand the pain, dedication, and exhilaration of it all like no one on the outside really can. I love that someone completing their first full mile without a walk-break can inspire just as much as someone completing a 15 miler in two hours. I especially love that people I know I've inspired are now repaying the favor and inspiring me.

Keep it up, everyone. This is a wonderful system we have going! You are all amazing!

ABK

PS: Just a note to add that my late-night run tonight was the first pain-free run I've had in over two years. I wore a different brace to target my IT band, and it worked like a charm. I can't WAIT for what this will mean for me in the long run! (No pun intended haha!)

Same Route, Different Day

As a follow-up to yesterday's post about Monday's disaster of a run, I needed to quickly mention today's awesome turn-around.

I had some self-doubt, thinking about Monday's run. But I knew that if I didn't tackle the same archer's bow route that killed me then, I'd never have faith in myself to do it again. So, strapping on the ol' Nike Pegasuses (Pegasi?), I drove out to a better starting point (having mapped it this time...see, I learn from my mistakes!) and started the run at an easy pace.

I did the straight part of the run first this time, and took the curved part of the loop back. By the time I got to the turn, my right knee was aching a bit but I knew I was on track. I enjoyed the beauty of the run again, this time knowing I could complete it.

I had programmed my Nike+ for 3.5 miles, but it never told me when I hit the goal. So I actually ran 3.6. And I stayed below a 10:00 pace the entire time! (9:30/9:39/9:42 splits.)

I iced, used the rolling pin, and stretched. Tomorrow is my appointment to see what kind of shoes I should look for next, but with the success of today, I'm a little reluctant to even entertain the thought of giving up my Nikes.

I'm proud of myself for looking my doubt in the face and squashing it flat. Today was definitely a Good run day.

ABK

A Bonus to Running

The other day, as I tweeted about my annoyance at missing a day running because we were running-shoe shopping for M, I realized that I am now that obnoxious person who posts to twitter/facebook every time I workout.

There are people out there who complain about posters like me. They see the updates as a brag. Of course, I certainly don't mean them that way. Posting about my runs motivates me to go out there again. I love running, the way some people love trivia nights or shopping. If they can post about placing first at trivia while eating wings and chugging beer, or dropping $50 on a new t-shirt, then why shouldn't I post about my pastime?

The bottom line is that if you see a post about working out as a "brag", your opinion of exercise is clearly that it's not for everyone. After all, why would someone brag about something anyone can do?

But you see, that's why I love running. If you have shoes, you can run. Or, you know, you can start. But outside of the shoes and clothes, there's no cost to running. No monthly payment to a gym, no heavy equipment to purchase.

And there's a bonus to running! I love sports, particularly volleyball, but as an adult, short of joining a league, I don't get to play. Plus, volleyball requires at least 11 other people to get a real game going. Running can be a solo endeavor. You can run for enjoyment, or you can find a race and run competitively, or run for enjoyment in a race!

I never knew that there was like...this secret world of running adults who do more than just run on the weekdays. They sign up for races. They collect bibs. They get medals! Medals. I thought medals and trophies were reserved for high school or professional sports! You're telling me I can earn swag for a hobby? That's awesome!

Talk about motivation.

I don't feel like I need to join anything to be a runner, but I can join if I want. That's a huge bonus of running. I can both be a part of this dedicated group of people, and I can choose to do this by myself. That kind of freedom means that anyone can do it. Looking back at the basis of this post, talking about the things you enjoy isn't bragging. Talking about running isn't bragging. Talking about training for a race, or upping mileage, or taking care of an injury isn't bragging. Anyone can run.

And really, the root of the issue is this: if you hate running, find something you love and get active. Play frisbee, go swimming, ride a bike or skateboard, shoot some hoops. Once you're leading an active lifestyle, you'll be less likely to feel threatened or even jealous of others that are doing the same. Stop scoffing at people who post about their workouts. They've found something to be passionate about. Good for them.

ABK

My First Solo Race - The Fast & the Furriest 5K

Yesterday I ran the Fast and the Furriest 5k for the Gulf Coast Humane Society. The race was open to runners, walkers, and pets. I was nervous about this particular race for multiple reasons. For one thing, what if I tripped over a leash and caused some kind of crazy domino-effect of toppling animals and people? For another, and more realistically, what if my drive and motivation ebbed and left me limping to the finish line?

You see, while this was only a 5k and I am completely capable of running 3.1 miles without stopping, this was my first solo race. K is, at this point, 6+ months pregnant, and earlier in the week when we ran together she needed to take a walk break after our first lap. I decided to sign up knowing I'd have to run it alone, and immediately began to feel that wary, niggling sensation that accompanies an undertaking I'm unfamiliar with. M would be at the finish line to greet me, but how would I motivate myself? Who would say, "Just one mile to go!" and urge me on? Who would keep me on-pace?

Running alone can be rewarding for its own reasons, although I usually prefer to run with K. Racing alone, however, was a new and daunting experience.

The crowd gathering for the start line.

I sought advice from some more seasoned runners who told me to keep my sights on someone ahead of me and stick with them. A kind of unknowing surrogate buddy. I found this both enlightening and kind of creepy. I was going to secretly partner myself with a stranger.

To further prepare myself, I updated and reorganized my playlist so I'd have all my favorite running songs to listen to.

The morning of the race dawned perfect and bright. I wore K's and my usual race outfit to give myself a mental boost. I bumped into a couple of students of mine and an old colleague. The race was relatively small (compared to the others I've run, including the Komen 5k), so I was up near the starting line. The dogs were well-controlled (if not a little noisy) and the route was familiar (the same as the Komen 5k, putting me at quite the advantage).

Soon my fears were alleviated. By the first quarter mile I'd found a tall blond with a unique stride (she bounced on her tiptoes rather than using her heel to push off) to run behind, and kept with her for the first 1.5 miles or so. Then, however, she began to slacken her pace and I found myself in a clump of five people. I pushed through and ahead, and then kept pace with a woman and her pitbull. During this leg of the race, I found I was annoyed that I had programmed my Nike+ for a 5k because it kept giving me my pace in kilometers. Ah well, little problems, I figured. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.

I loved watching the dogs running by. A huge great dane overtook me, his owner sprinting to keep up. Eventually my pitbull-buddy proved to be a little swift for my pace, so I found another oblivious partner to stare at. Eventually, though, I overtook her, too.

Almost there!

As I rounded the corner to the end of the race, I saw the giant countdown clock and was surprised to see 29:00 on the board. I hadn't been able to monitor my pace as I'm used to, in miles, so I was completely unprepared for that. Given a second wind by the simple idea of beating 30:00, I sprinted to the end, finishing in 29:31 and placing 7 of 17 in my age group.

My first solo race experience was nerve-wracking because races give me butterflies anyway. This was the best I could have asked for in getting used to racing alone: the distance was right, the number of participants was perfect - enough to blend in with but not enough to get lost among, I had run the exact same route just three weeks before, and there were plenty of animals to distract me.

Made it!

I finished the race feeling strong, accomplished, and proud. This was a huge milestone in my running career and showed me that I truly am a runner in my own right. I took the initiative to run a race alone. And I plan to do it again.

Another great thing about this race was that M recorded my finishing sprint. This is the first time I've seen live-action footage of myself in motion, so I was able to see how my strides have changed and improved, and I also saw where improvements can be made. I lean forward too much when sprinting, but otherwise my form doesn't look too terrible!

Upcoming races:

• African Aid 5k on April 21 (raising money for World Vision to benefit children affected by AIDS in Africa)
• Race for Grace 10k on May 26 (raising money to support Teen Challenge Women's Home for women recovering from drug and alcohol addiction)

I haven't run a 10k before so I'm a little nervous about this one, but I figure if I keep doing what I'm doing and start adding some mileage to my weekly runs, I'll be able to run six miles without too much fear!

ABK