Sunday, December 31, 2017

Looking Forward

To say this was a tough year would be an understatement. It was not the year I envisioned at the end of 2016 and it wasn't the year I wanted. Obviously I took a step back from blogging (both writing and reading), and there were a few reasons for that. The first major reason was that I struggled with enjoying lighthearted hobbies when they began to feel frivolous in the face of...everything that happened in the US this year.

I have little hope for 2018 politics-and-justice-wise, but I do have some hope for the year running-wise.
Top 9 pictures from Instagram this year. Fewer running pictures than in the past. I had my lowest-mileage year in ages.
After the fasciotomy on my right leg I was able to get back to running using intervals (3:1) but always had to stop at about 2 miles because my left leg was still exhibiting symptoms. But the right leg's success made me excited to have the left leg done. My insurance made us wait to move forward with that surgery, so I was basically fully recovered on the right side by the time I had the left done.
Here we go again.
I had my left leg's fasciotomy on November 30 and have been recovering very well. At first I had more pain and discomfort than in my right leg, but I am only four weeks post-op and already my incisions look even cleaner than the first set.
Two days post-op, I had a ton of bruising. This is normal, but I didn't have it with my right leg. I found out after my post-op that I had bled more in this surgery and that explains the higher pain levels and bruising.
About 9 days post-op, when they removed the steristrips. Incisions looked good!
I am experiencing some calf stiffness in both legs, in the left due to surgery and in the right due to inactivity (I think); it will be another couple weeks before I can truly begin running again, but I did jog for three minutes on Christmas morning and it felt good to get moving.
Merry Christmas to me - a 3 minute slow jog on my parents' treadmill.
PT is going well. I have a couple more weeks of it to go. My therapist is confident I'll be able to do a 5k in late-February, which is my "comeback" goal - to run/walk the Fort Lauderdale A1A 5k (maybe with Kristina?!). I've done the half and full at the race over the last few years, it's always my birthday weekend, and it would be literally a year since my last race and REAL run/training, so the significance is huge. I'm feeling hopeful.
My left-anterior incision is still a little lumpy (that's where I had bleeding) but the posterior is already almost less noticeable than the scar on my right leg.
I am looking at 2017 as the final chapter in the first half of my running "career". I began running with no clue about what I was doing. I had no idea what intervals were or even what appropriate shoes were. I didn't even know races existed.

I plan to use 2018 as a chance to start totally fresh. I will pick up running from the beginning, but with the benefit of the knowledge I've gained over the last 9 years. I know there will be days when I really struggle, and there will be days I lament my lost fitness, but I hope this experience will serve as a reminder to never take it for granted. I hope that I'll be able to put this all behind me and focus on my running goals with renewed vigor and dedication.

I hope this blog will become something I'm excited to pick up again. I started it in 2012 with the intention of keeping myself accountable, and I don't think that's necessary anymore, but as an outlet and a place to track my journey, progress, setbacks, and victories...well, I hope it will become that again. I have no way of knowing where my mind will go as my recovery continues.

It's hard to start completely over, and I refuse to fall into the comparison trap while I build myself back up to where I once was, and maybe even beyond, so I know I'm not ready to step back into the runner-blogger community...but I feel like I'm standing at the threshold of a doorway that is slowly opening, and sooner than later, I am going to step through.

I am desperately excited and anxious to do so.

So, here is to the new year, my new legs, and a Part II of my running journey.

ABK

7 comments:

  1. Yayy part II here we come! And maybe me as a 5k partner! ~ steph

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  2. I know what you mean about feeling bad enjoying frivolous things. I was making some images for my blog this morning and then I hopped over to CNN and there was a "year in pictures" post. Of course I clicked on it. And just to see the devastation that goes on in many parts of the world, it made me feel guilty for sitting here in my robe, drinking coffee, and making stupid blog title images.

    Here's to part II of your running career!!!! Please don't fall into the comparison trap. I used to do that and now I can honestly say I'm FREE of it. I don't care if some people run XXXX miles per week, I know if I did that I'd get injured and/or hate running!

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  3. You are strong! Here's to a wonderful 2018.

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  4. Welcome back.

    2018 will definitely be a better year for you. Looking forward to hearing about it.

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  5. Welcome back! I wish you the best on your recovery journey!

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  6. Best of luck with your recovery!

    I am also hoping, in a different way, to start totally fresh in 2018. I'm really hoping this year I can forget about races and training and just learn how to run for my own enjoyment, regardless of pace or mileage.

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  7. Your matching scars on each leg look super cool. I hope you have a great year!

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