Fingers Crossed

On Tuesday night, I ran for the first time since my second surgery.

I had wanted to run all weekend, but we were away for a wedding and timing just didn't work out. I was nervous to go alone Tuesday but I also didn't want to go with anyone. I just needed the chance to test the waters.

Matt came with me because when we run together we don't really run together. We walked the warmup together and I told him, "If this run goes well, I'm signing up for the A1A 5k when we get home."

And then I turned my watch on and started my first 3-minute interval, and Matt took off at his loping pace. He'd come back and loop around to meet up with me every few minutes throughout the run.

I ran in the circle neighborhood I stuck to after the first surgery; it's pretty and predictable...and quiet. I don't feel too self-conscious there.

For the first three minutes, I felt a little tight and stiff. I was doing 3:1 intervals, and at my first walk break I started to feel loosened up. The rest of the run was just...Amazing.

First walk break. Starting to feel good.

I had some hamstring tightness and I could feel a knot in my right calf, but it was definitely not tight or painful. I can't express the relief of being able to tell that a muscle ache is just a knot that needs some massaging.

By the middle of the run, I was grinning. I struggled a little in the chilly air and my legs felt tired and out-of-practice but I felt good. About 3/4 of the way done, I almost started crying. OAR's "City on Down" came on my playlist and for some reason everything just felt so perfect.

Matt caught me mid-joy. I couldn't contain my elation!

When we got home, I iced and used my TENS unit while I signed up for the race.

I also managed to convince my sister to run it with me - she usually meets me at the finish line of this race, so I am ecstatic - and even Matt and Oden (who we stay with for A1A every year) may run it! It'll be like a big celebratory party race! Obviously I will be using intervals and focusing on just finishing nice and easy, but I can't think of a better way to celebrate the end of this frustrating, depressing year of injury.

2 miles done and feeling GREAT!

I know I'm not fully "recovered"; Dr. G. said to expect it to take 3 months before I'm ready to pursue the kind of running I was doing pre-diagnosis. So, I will be patient and listen to my body. And maybe in the fall, I'll be ready to aim for a longer or faster race...

But honestly? I'm not even that impatient anymore, because now that there's forward progress, I am satisfied. I am ready to take the days as they come, because I have a lifetime of running ahead of me.

ABK

Running Journey Part II

In November 2016, I suddenly began experiencing unexplainable calf pain. Going back to read that blog entry is a little surreal, because I had no idea of what lay ahead. It's weird that I can know that November 28, 2016 was the day compartment syndrome first affected me.

And today is the last day of that chapter.

Although I tried lots of solutions back then - rest, heat, ice, stretching - nothing helped. The pain was more than muscle fatigue or the usual tightness runners sometimes experience during training.

My calves felt like rocks. My feet began to feel like they were slapping the ground. I couldn't run through it.

At this point, I had been running for about seven years and the only other time I'd ever felt pain like this was during my first marathon.

It took months of denial before Elizabeth pushed me to go see a doctor. This was followed by months of dead ends and waiting before I had an answer and a solution at hand. The first two doctors I saw were unhelpful and defeatist*, respectively. I self-diagnosed my issue and began calling around to sports medicine doctors to find someone who could do a pressure test for me.

That was when I finally began finding answers. I am so lucky I found Dr. Guerra and that he was so willing to work with me. Now, two surgeries and almost 14 months later, I am officially on the road to full recovery.

I had my last post-op with Dr. G today. He looked at both legs and tested my range of motion. He told me I looked "fantastic". He told me he feels very optimistic about my prognosis. He told me I could forgo PT after my final appointment this week and rely on at-home exercises as I finally finally FINALLY begin to run again.

I have lost fitness this year and I've lost forward momentum, but I am so grateful. I'm near tears just thinking about what the future could hold now. The goals I can resume pursuing. The improved quality of life I'll be able to enjoy once more.

Dr. G gave me back my legs. I can't even explain what that means...but I know you guys will get it.

Here's to Part II of this journey.

ABK

*Tangent: When I went to see my regular doctor last week, she was all, "Anything new happen this year?!" and I was like, "Funny you should ask. I had two surgeries!" and then I told her the entire story and when I told her about the vascular surgeon and his whole "women don't like scars" spiel she rolled her eyes so hard I thought they might fall out of her head.

Looking Forward

To say this was a tough year would be an understatement. It was not the year I envisioned at the end of 2016 and it wasn't the year I wanted. Obviously I took a step back from blogging (both writing and reading), and there were a few reasons for that. The first major reason was that I struggled with enjoying lighthearted hobbies when they began to feel frivolous in the face of...everything that happened in the US this year.

I have little hope for 2018 politics-and-justice-wise, but I do have some hope for the year running-wise.

Top 9 pictures from Instagram this year. Fewer running pictures than in the past. I had my lowest-mileage year in ages.

After the fasciotomy on my right leg I was able to get back to running using intervals (3:1) but always had to stop at about 2 miles because my left leg was still exhibiting symptoms. But the right leg's success made me excited to have the left leg done. My insurance made us wait to move forward with that surgery, so I was basically fully recovered on the right side by the time I had the left done.

Here we go again.

I had my left leg's fasciotomy on November 30 and have been recovering very well. At first I had more pain and discomfort than in my right leg, but I am only four weeks post-op and already my incisions look even cleaner than the first set.

Two days post-op, I had a ton of bruising. This is normal, but I didn't have it with my right leg. I found out after my post-op that I had bled more in this surgery and that explains the higher pain levels and bruising.

About 9 days post-op, when they removed the steristrips. Incisions looked good!

I am experiencing some calf stiffness in both legs, in the left due to surgery and in the right due to inactivity (I think); it will be another couple weeks before I can truly begin running again, but I did jog for three minutes on Christmas morning and it felt good to get moving.

Merry Christmas to me - a 3 minute slow jog on my parents' treadmill.

PT is going well. I have a couple more weeks of it to go. My therapist is confident I'll be able to do a 5k in late-February, which is my "comeback" goal - to run/walk the Fort Lauderdale A1A 5k (maybe with Kristina?!). I've done the half and full at the race over the last few years, it's always my birthday weekend, and it would be literally a year since my last race and REAL run/training, so the significance is huge. I'm feeling hopeful.

My left-anterior incision is still a little lumpy (that's where I had bleeding) but the posterior is already almost less noticeable than the scar on my right leg.

I am looking at 2017 as the final chapter in the first half of my running "career". I began running with no clue about what I was doing. I had no idea what intervals were or even what appropriate shoes were. I didn't even know races existed.

I plan to use 2018 as a chance to start totally fresh. I will pick up running from the beginning, but with the benefit of the knowledge I've gained over the last 9 years. I know there will be days when I really struggle, and there will be days I lament my lost fitness, but I hope this experience will serve as a reminder to never take it for granted. I hope that I'll be able to put this all behind me and focus on my running goals with renewed vigor and dedication.

I hope this blog will become something I'm excited to pick up again. I started it in 2012 with the intention of keeping myself accountable, and I don't think that's necessary anymore, but as an outlet and a place to track my journey, progress, setbacks, and victories...well, I hope it will become that again. I have no way of knowing where my mind will go as my recovery continues.

It's hard to start completely over, and I refuse to fall into the comparison trap while I build myself back up to where I once was, and maybe even beyond, so I know I'm not ready to step back into the runner-blogger community...but I feel like I'm standing at the threshold of a doorway that is slowly opening, and sooner than later, I am going to step through.

I am desperately excited and anxious to do so.

So, here is to the new year, my new legs, and a Part II of my running journey.

ABK