Weekly Report: August 20 - August 26

This was a really strong week. I've never successfully run 15 miles in a week before, so I'm really happy to have hit this milestone. At the same time, I don't want to push the mileage too quickly, because that could lead to burnout or muscle fatigue.

Half these runs were in the morning before work, two were at the gym, and one was an evening run with K. Overall we're right on track, and we'll be running 3 or 3.25 milers this week. We've also noticed our times decreasing .We're not adding speed workouts to our routine yet, but I think the consistency alone is helping to shave seconds off our times.

Isaac ending up hardly hitting us, so we won't really lose a day of training this week, even though I lost a day of school. Hooray!

ABK

This is Your Brain on Running

This weekend was stressful. We headed to a baseball game out of town Friday night and spent most of Saturday seeing our parents and some of M's extended family. We left home Friday evening after a full day of work, stayed out late for the post-game concert, and spent Saturday out of town much longer than I had originally planned. We had to get home in time to prep our house for Hurricane Isaac, and I needed to fit in a run.

I was a horror Friday and Saturday. Everything that changed our schedule even slightly drove me into a fit. I was biting heads off left and right. Could it be a coincidence that Friday was a rest day and didn't run until evening on Saturday?

Well, the short answer is most likely "no". When I brought up this phenomenon to K during our run tonight, her response was an emphatic "THANK YOU!" Apparently we're at the point in our training when taking a day off sends us into a spiral of bad-attitudiness.

Running lifts my mood, keeps me grounded, and releases endorphins that keep me positive and feeling good. Rest days are necessary to recovery, but if I'm not able to workout at all on those days (no gym, no run, nothing), then my patience grows short. It's like any more than 24 hours between runs sends my mood plummeting.

So how do I fix this? Rest days are a necessity, but being inactive on those days turns me into a monster. Even being up and walking (which I do for roughly eight hours a day when I'm teaching) isn't enough to stave off this wretched attitude. And let me clarify: on these days, I feel fine, but I'm more likely to be annoyed, upset, or angry when little things go wrong. I'm more likely to be outrageously irritated by small annoyances, like someone trying to talk to me while I'm concentrating on something. One minute I'll be perfectly happy; the next I'll be snapping at someone. My fuse, as they say, is short on these days.

I can't stop taking rest days, even if I only take one or two a week. So what can I do?  If I take the day off and can't get to the gym, what's the alternative? How do I stop myself from wanting to throttle people just because I have built up energy I can't spend?

I guess the answer is to do some other form of exercise on those days off (easier said than done, given my schedule), and I could do some yoga poses if I can't get to the gym. Or we could schedule days off so that our next run is in the morning, not evening, keeping our off-hours at 24 instead of 36. Both of these options are things I'll need to work to incorporate into my training, because being the teacher from the Black Lagoon twice a week is definitely not an option for me.

Running is supposed to be a wholly positive thing; but this, then, makes not running a negative (instead of neutral) thing. This makes "rest days" an oxymoron: good for you and bad for you all at once. In order to be successful, this needs to change.

I'm confusing myself. The bottom line is that I don't want to be a terror on days I don't run. Insights are welcome!

ABK

The Second Half

Well, I did it. I've been getting the emails, putting it on my to-do list, and dragging my feet. But after my run this morning, I finally bit the bullet. K and I have officially signed up for our second Half.

My first half was, all told, kind of a disaster. I've briefly mentioned here that I ran it on little training. By little I mean three months or more of no runs at all. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch...um, etc. I hardly got the first 5k under my belt before I was walking. I was blessedly able to zone out around mile 5, but by mile 10 I was limping along as my legs refused to lift off the ground. I was barely able to run the last half mile (which K, having finished before me, came back to run with me), and after this disaster I found I'd sustained a foot and knee injury.

As in, I tried to do a mile recovery run the next day and hardly made it a quarter of the way before I had to walk. I had to sit out running and let myself recover, all the while thinking about what an embarrassing display I'd put on.

Time heals all wounds, and I can now find some satisfaction in the fact that I participated in the race. But I'm not really happy with my time, of course, and I'm certainly not happy with my effort. After receiving emails about discount codes and early-bird pricing, I finally realized that if I kept putting off the planned November Half, I'd never do another one. I'd never suck it up, face this mental monster I've created, and meet the full potential I'm working toward.

I refuse to let my fear of failure get in the way. Not when I've been so consistent. If I were to try for a Half tomorrow, I'd be in way better shape than I was last time, and we've just gotten up to 3-milers this week!

I think the biggest fear, of course, is not necessarily that I'll stop training, but that I'll keep training and absolutely suck anyway. On the race application, it asks for your estimated finishing time. I rounded way up. Just in case, you know? Logically, I know this is silly. How could I possibly do any worse than I did the first time around? Making a PR for a Half should be cake. But there's still this dreadful sensation I get when I think about this race, and I don't think I can even put into words this all-consuming doubt I have.

But, it's too late now. After shelling out a gross amount of money to join, I refuse to back out. K and I will keep our schedule and will be ready by November 18. I'll finally be able to come to terms with the terrible first Half because the second Half will eclipse it in all the best ways. I'll be able to treat it as the learning experience it is. I'll finally feel like I'm accomplishing more than just logging miles for no purpose, and I'll have a reason to rise above my usual 3 mile runs and finally enter long-run territory. (Nothing like using a terrifying race as a goal and motivator, right?)

I'm excited and anxious, which is why I've turned to my blog, the purpose of which is to keep me motivated and hold me publicly accountable for my running goals. So there it is, blog world. I've signed up and I plan to run it. (I've also convinced one colleague to run it as well, and am hoping a second or more will join the fun!)

Now wish me luck.

ABK