It's Race Week!

It's here!

This race is all that's been on my mind for months...and if I want to be really honest, it's all that's been on my mind for a year or more. After my first fasciotomy in August 2017, I knew I'd love to run it as my first long distance race post-surgeries. When I learned I may not be able to due to scheduling conflicts, I was devastated.

That changed in October, when I found out I could run A1A after all. I've had a one-track mind since then!

I don't want to talk about goals. Goals aren't even on my radar, honestly. My perspective on running and racing has shifted dramatically since my CECS diagnosis, and my priorities are completely different these days. That will surely change with time, but for now, my goals aren't exactly quantifiable.

I wrote about that on Instagram last week:

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Let’s talk goals 🏃🏻‍♀️ . Too often, goals become arbitrary. We lose sight of why we’ve set a goal, and why we’re busting our butts for weeks on end to achieve said goal. I have been so guilty of that. . Not this time. My goal for A1A (which is a measly 13 days away!) is all about the experience. I’m better trained for this race than I’ve been for any half I’ve run before, but time and performance are at the bottom of my priorities list. . After a year of injury and another year of recovery, my goal for this race is to run it like the victory lap it is. Training has shown me that I am healed. That my perseverance and positivity have survived two years of setbacks. That I AM still a runner. That I still love this sport. That it still brings me joy and peace and strength and empowerment. That everything was worth it. . . My goal for this race is to finish smiling, even if it’s through (happy) tears.

A post shared by Ali (@abk_runs) on Feb 4, 2019 at 4:20pm PST

No, this post isn't about goals. It's about anxiety. It's about typical post-training worry and pre-race jitters.

When I originally wrote my training plan, I kept my long runs really conservative and didn't plan a double-digit run until late January. Because of this, I had 12 miles planned the weekend before race day. Those 12 miles were planned more for mental support than physical need.

Cut to Sunday morning, when I ran my last long run of training. I only did 8 miles, instead of the prescribed 12. My legs were so tired the entire run, I knew cutting it down was the smart thing to do. Being able to keep a steady pace the entire run despite my tired legs gave me a mental boost.

The fact remains, although I did longer long-runs earlier in training than originally planned, I never ran longer than 10.5 miles...and now I'm regretting it.

I know I can run a solid half on the training I've put in. I'm pretty sure I'm better trained for this half than I've ever been before, at least as far as consistency and total mileage goes. It's also not my first rodeo - I know what to expect miles 10-13.1 to feel like. I don't have a time goal, but I don't want to be miserable out there on the course.

My logical-brain feels prepared and excited. My neurotic-brain is wringing its hands and wondering why we didn't do 12 last weekend.

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A post shared by The Awkward Yeti (@theawkwardyeti) on Sep 21, 2016 at 1:31pm PDT

Well. Nothing I can do about it now, right?! Other than talk it out and move on...so that's what I'm doing.

This week I have a couple short runs planned that I'm going to cut even shorter (based on leg-feel today) and then...it's race day next Sunday! I can't wait!

ABK

ETA: I have a virus of some kind and am on prednisone starting Monday, so it's a good thing I don't have a time goal, huh?

This Race Needs a Soundtrack

I know that some runners scoff at listening to music on race day, but I like it. When I run for fun (so...on my daily runs), I run with music or a podcast because...well, it makes me happy. I wouldn't say it makes me zone out; often, good music on a run will help me zone in. I feel more in-tune (haha) with myself - not my body, pace, or gait, necessarily, but with my actual self.

I'm a little weird in that I like fairly slow music when I run. I listen to the same kind of music I listen to when I'm hanging out or writing; generally, I don't really like pop and more upbeat stuff, and because running-music is about amping up my joy, I stick with what makes me happy. Sometimes I even run to musical soundtracks (I especially love The Phantom of the Opera and Les Mis for races).

For A1A, I've been compiling a list of songs that help me feel fully in the moment when they come on my playlist, and I'm putting them together for race day.

The full list can be seen on the right.

This list is all over the place. I like my music to be earnest, emotionally intense, and climactic. This means I tend to like songs that have a steady build throughout and a major swell at the end. Really good songs will swell multiple times, usually during the chorus.

I don't have a particular order to these songs, because if one comes on I'm not feeling in the moment, I can always skip it. I'm not planning my miles down to the track listing or anything. But knowing I have a fresh, specifically curated playlist is helping get me hyped for race day!

Here is a link to the playlist I put together. There's probably some stuff in there that you may think how could anyone run to this?! but if you want to know what I like to listen to on the run, check it out below.

ABK

A1A Training: January in Review

Well, it's here. February. Race month. I am feeling...anxious.

In November and December, I felt confident. I was logging the miles and executing my long runs without fail. My paces were great. My legs felt great. Everything was great!

January was tough. I started to hit the wall. Training started to feel a little stale. My legs started to feel a little heavy. My energy started to feel a lot depleted.

But. It could've been worse.

Highs: Getting another 10-miler in and breaking out of my funk to finish the last week of the month on an upswing.

Lows: All those missed runs, whether from post-travel exhaustion or sheer burnout/laziness.

Planned miles: 79
Actual miles: 54

Looking at these totals, I see that my total mileage isn't so far off from previous months, which eases my anxiety a little, although it's pretty embarrassing how short I fell from my original plan. But the main thing here is that, even having fallen short, I'll be ready for this race.

This training cycle has both felt long and also like it's totally flown by. I know now that my excitement to train again led to some major over-planning and unrealistic expectations. For my first cycle back to long distance, I can't be too disappointed.

And now...February is IT. The chance for me to truly finish training the best I possibly can. The chance for me to truly feel like I'm back to being the runner I was. It will mark a full year of recovery and rebuilding. If I think too much about it, I might explode. So instead, I plan to put my blinders on and finish. this. thing.

ABK