My memory is playing tricks on me, and that's one reason I'm grateful for this blog. Although I've run some iteration of the A1A race five years in a row now, I really thought I had run the half three times before this weekend's race - twice alone and once with Elizabeth. As it turns out, this year was only the second time I've run it alone, and my third time running it total.
In 2015 I ran the half for the first time. In 2016 I ran the full, choosing it because I remembered loving the half course so much every time I ran it...which I guess was just one time. In 2017 I ran the half with Elizabeth. In 2018 I ran the 5k. And now, this past weekend, I ran the half again.
The reason this has been on my mind is because I feel like I have a strong connection to this race, but I've kind of manufactured some memories of it that aren't entirely accurate. I knew, for example, that I once ran the half with a bad cold and surprised myself with my results; I didn't realize, though, that that happened the first year I ever ran it, in 2015.
I was thinking about this because I went into this year's race with a bad cold and some doubts about how I'd feel on race day. Luckily, the worst of my symptoms began to clear up by Friday and by Sunday I was breathing easy, and finally coughing up some nasty junk.
On the Friday before the race, we drove down to Boynton to see my sister and Gordon, who just got engaged. We enjoyed a late dinner with them and spent the night there. On Saturday, we headed down to Fort Lauderdale. As usual, the plan was to meet up with Oden, whose house we'd be staying at again, then grab lunch and hit the expo.
This year I signed "I'm back, baby!"
I'm not sure what it was, but the expo felt less exciting this year. Maybe I'm a little out of practice with big races or was starting to feel nervous, but the crowds and vendors had my hackles up, and I was happy to just get my bib, do a quick tour of the booths, and get out.
I took an unscheduled nap on Oden's couch before we went out to Glitch (a video game bar) for a couple hours and then grabbed sushi for dinner. I'm really loving these video game bars; I wish we had one near us!
Playing some classic Mario Kart. We also played on the new Nintendo Switch and it was really fun!
I went to bed around 10pm feeling fairly anxiety-free and slept like the dead.
Race day dawned early. I was up at 4am and avoided checking the weather. I knew it was going to be warm and humid. There was no point in worrying about it. I still hadn't chosen my full race outfit because of the forecast, but I had options. I had my usual breakfast (GF oatmeal with PB2 and honey, plus some coffee and a glass of water with Emergen-C mixed in) and got dressed. Matt and I left Oden's at 5am for the short drive to the start.
During the drive, my anxiety built. I was suddenly so nervous I was shaking. It wasn't just anticipatory anxiety; I was terrified. I couldn't pinpoint exactly where the fear was coming from; I was sure I'd be able to finish this race, and I truly didn't have a goal beyond that. Maybe it was the knowledge that there was a lot riding on it. It was going to serve as proof that I'm fully recovered from CECS. Maybe that pressure just got into my head.
Weirdly, once we got to the corrals, I felt better. This was familiar. I used the porta-potty, took some pictures, and got right back in line to use it again. I made the rash (but smart) decision to strip off my tank top. I was already warm! I didn't want to carry it with me the entire race.
I was self-conscious about running shirtless, but I also knew no one would care and it would give me a better chance at having a successful race. Then, Matt walked with me up to the 10:00 pacing area and prepared to leave.
My #1 fan
His plan was to go back to the house before the starting gun to drop off the car; then, he and Oden would ride bikes (well, the One Wheel in Matt's case) up to miles 4/6.5/11 to wait for me. So, I stood in the corral alone and put on my music. Taliaby King Princess came on. I closed my eyes and started to focus.
Zoning in.
When I opened them, I had a feeling Matt was still nearby. I looked up, and there he was. He snapped one last picture, waved, and disappeared into the crowd.
This race is huge, so the start is pretty anti-climatic. After the gun, I walked with the rest of the crowd until we finally reached the start line, about 3 minutes later. Then, I started running.
The moment I crossed the start line and began to run, I was overcome with emotion. I immediately felt really good and steady; all my fears and doubts and overthinking stopped. I just felt wonderful. I'd been counting on this race to make me feel like the whole CECS "journey" is at an end, and I was hyperaware that the first step of this race meant I was finally, finally, in the last moments of that damn chapter of my running story. In a couple hours, two years of struggle would be behind me.
I held back tears for the entire first mile.
The spot where Matt and Oden planned to set up shop. I would pass them three times on the course if they stayed in that area.
For the first three miles, until we reached the Las Olas bridge to A1A, I felt good, but already warm. For perspective, during training I was doing my long runs at 7am in high-50s, not breaking a sweat until at least an hour in. On race day, we began at 6am in 68 degrees and I was sweating by mile two. I was glad I ditched my top and kept reminding myself to just enjoy the run and not get in my head about the weather.
Heat and humidity aren't things I can control. There was no point in worrying about them anymore.
This race has amazing views!
Around mile 3.5, I remembered it was going to get sunny eventually and that I had forgotten to put sunscreen on my tattoo. I texted Matt, knowing I was planning to see him around mile 4. Sure enough, he and Oden were there waiting when I reached our first spectating point. I grabbed Matt's sunscreen, slapped it on, dropped the bottle near a cone, and kept going.
Around mile 6.5
My pace and GPS seemed to do something wonky in the nature preserve from miles 4-6, and I think I ended up wasting some energy there I should have conserved when I focused too much on what my watch read rather than how my legs and lungs felt, because shortly after I saw Matt and Oden again, things started to feel tough. I began eating my Gu at mile 7 and knew immediately I'd picked the wrong flavor for the day. Chocolate was just too much. I kept nibbling it until about mile 9, then ditched it at a water stop and made my first critical mistake of the race.
I grabbed a cup of water.
I had completed every long run of training without water. I was really well hydrated and had taken salt before the start. I didn't need water, but wanted to rinse my mouth. I should have just popped in my second piece of gum. The minute I slowed down to take a drink, I knew getting back into a rhythm would be tough; the mental seal was broken.
I took a second cup to pour over my head. At this point the sun was well up, but we were mostly in shade from buildings along the road. It was around mile 10 that those buildings clear because you're running along the beach again, and that was when things really got hot.
Between miles 10 and 13 I took a few short walk breaks and had some more water. I stole some ice from an open bag at one of the stops. I never felt bad about walking; again, I didn't have a real goal in mind. I saw the 2:15 pacer pass me but she stayed within view, so I had an idea that even if my GPS had gotten screwy in the nature preserve, I was still setting a good overall pace. My lower legs felt a little stiff in a very this is tough work why are we doing this kind of way, but not in a we are rocks that can't be run through and you're having a recurrence of compartment syndrome way.
My goal for this race was to run with joy and finish with a smile on my face. I admit there were times on the course that I lost the joy, but that's part of racing, I think. It's hard in the final miles of a tough race to keep gratitude at the forefront of your mind.
I saw Matt and Oden once more at mile 11ish and then watched them zoom by toward the finish line to meet me there. I kept plugging away. I admit I wasn't enjoying myself at this point. I was hot and achey and ready to be done. I remember thinking that I had zero interest in running a full marathon anytime soon. I had forgotten how tough long distance races can be!
Around mile 11
Finally, I entered the last turn to the finish line. I tried to urge my legs to pick up the pace, but I was totally depleted. The finish line has two arches, one at mile 12.9 and then the final one at 13.1.
As I came up on the final arch, I spotted Matt and Oden, and then saw Steph waving next to them. I found the smile I'd been looking for. I thought about the vascular surgeon who told me I should just find another sport. I sneered at him in my head. Never run again my ass I thought, and managed one final push.
Coming toward the finish
My time was 2:17:31. I had been on track for a PR in the first half of the course, but couldn't maintain that performance through the latter half. Still, I set a personal course record and ran with joy, and that's what I wanted from this race.
I was honestly too exhausted to feel many emotions right there at the finish. I was in a weird tunnel-vision headspace, and the bigger picture of the finish's significance had faded away to be replaced by my more immediate needs: to get water and sit down.
Soon after finding my wonderful cheer squad and taking pictures, things started to set in. I relived the highlights of the race in my head. I remembered the emotion at the start line. I felt the joy come back.
Honestly the prettiest medal I have, I think!
Best sister ever!
I have the BEST cheer squad! I do not take it for granted that they get up early every year to make this race special for me!
After a shower, we ended our celebration with brunch at our usual post-A1A spot.
Blueberry pancakes, eggs, bacon, hash browns...just what I wanted!
I am ready now to take some time to rest and be patient in deciding on my next running goal. Right now, it feels good to not have a whole batch of races lined up for spring. I want to bask in this moment and take my time deciding what comes next.
I'll finish this post by thanking everyone who has been following my training and cheering me on the last few months. It's been a long road, and I couldn't have done it alone. I love the running community!
ABK
This week has been a true example of Murphy's Law at work. Like, it has to be a joke, it's been so rough.
First, I came down with a cold the minute I finished my last long run on Sunday. I've been given prednisone for my asthma, but don't want to take a decongestant or cough medicine because of hydration issues I've had in the past. Plus, I think maybe the prednisone is giving me foot and leg cramps.
Our lovely cool front teased me with a return on Wednesday only to completely disappear. Warm weather is back, and it looks like race day is going to be warm and sunny.
Yuck.
Wednesday, I accidentally spilled Chipotle all over the kitchen and injured the crook of my knee with the vacuum when I was cleaning it up. Because of course I did.
I mean...why. Just why.
Whyyyyyy
I've been having muscle cramps in my sleep (and all I can think is that they must be related to the Taper Bogeyman or prednisone or something) and I couldn't decide all week if I should risk an easy run with my cold and wheezing to lubricate my legs, or keep resting. I finally ran Thursday, which resulted in more foot cramps (the kind where your toes curl in like claws and you have to manually pull them apart for relief).
Please ignore all the weird autocorrects here and focus instead on the fact that the cherry on top of this week was seeing a car on fire where I usually park to go on my runs. And also, foot cramps.
The good news is that the run gave me a feel for my legs. They feel fresh! My lungs are a mess right now - no amount of albuterol or prednisone is fully clearing them at the moment - but running actually made them feel better. (Sorry Mom, please don't freak out, I promise not to die on Sunday.)
Also, Jess and Jenn got me some good luck race day/birthday bling and I know it's going to bring me luck and good vibes on Sunday!
When your legs get tired...run with your heart!
I also recall running this race pretty sick one year and feeling surprisingly great on race day, so I'm hoping to just have a repeat of that experience.
Basically, this week leading up to A1A has been harder than the entire training cycle (it's almost laughable, really), but I'm still feeling pretty confident in an I know this race is going to happen so none of this even matters kind of way.
As of tonight, training is officially over and race weekend is upon us. Wish me luck!
ABK
PS: It's my birthday today, so happy birthday to me! A great gift would be clear lungs and sinuses come Sunday. Thanks in advance.
This race is all that's been on my mind for months...and if I want to be really honest, it's all that's been on my mind for a year or more. After my first fasciotomy in August 2017, I knew I'd love to run it as my first long distance race post-surgeries. When I learned I may not be able to due to scheduling conflicts, I was devastated.
I don't want to talk about goals. Goals aren't even on my radar, honestly. My perspective on running and racing has shifted dramatically since my CECS diagnosis, and my priorities are completely different these days. That will surely change with time, but for now, my goals aren't exactly quantifiable.
No, this post isn't about goals. It's about anxiety. It's about typical post-training worry and pre-race jitters.
When I originally wrote my training plan, I kept my long runs really conservative and didn't plan a double-digit run until late January. Because of this, I had 12 miles planned the weekend before race day. Those 12 miles were planned more for mental support than physical need.
Cut to Sunday morning, when I ran my last long run of training. I only did 8 miles, instead of the prescribed 12. My legs were so tired the entire run, I knew cutting it down was the smart thing to do. Being able to keep a steady pace the entire run despite my tired legs gave me a mental boost.
The fact remains, although I did longer long-runs earlier in training than originally planned, I never ran longer than 10.5 miles...and now I'm regretting it.
I know I can run a solid half on the training I've put in. I'm pretty sure I'm better trained for this half than I've ever been before, at least as far as consistency and total mileage goes. It's also not my first rodeo - I know what to expect miles 10-13.1 to feel like. I don't have a time goal, but I don't want to be miserable out there on the course.
My logical-brain feels prepared and excited. My neurotic-brain is wringing its hands and wondering why we didn't do 12 last weekend.
Well. Nothing I can do about it now, right?! Other than talk it out and move on...so that's what I'm doing.
This week I have a couple short runs planned that I'm going to cut even shorter (based on leg-feel today) and then...it's race day next Sunday! I can't wait!
ABK
ETA: I have a virus of some kind and am on prednisone starting Monday, so it's a good thing I don't have a time goal, huh?
Hoo boy. December was as tough as I thought it would be with our travel plans. But it also had some shining moments, including my first 10-miler of training well ahead of schedule.
I started the month with the tail-end of a cold, so I missed some runs early in the month, but then I was able to stay on track and get in some solid training for most of the month.
While we were in Vancouver and Seattle, we did a ton of walking, but I only managed to get in one run. It wasn't really a quality run; the first 3.5 miles felt pretty good, but I never settled into a groove because the terrain was so outside my norm - hilly.
The last little part of the run was a mess. We tried to run half of it to a Safeway to pick up bus cards, but the hills outside the park were so steep I had to give up. We did run from Safeway home, but it was so steeply downhill that I was worried I'd hurt myself, so it was barely a run.
I'm still not thinking about paces or goals for A1A at all. I'm just enjoying training and letting my body lead the way.
I am pretty happy with how December went, and from this point on, training should be smooth sailing! No more interruptions ahead!
Since vacation, my legs are having a tough time recovering. I'm hoping they warm up soon, as January is already well underway.
Now, I wrote before that I'm scrapping all my Thursday runs because it helps my legs feel more prepared for Saturday long runs. My original planned distance for December was 71 miles. After crossing out Thursdays, here's how my December looked.
Planned Distance: 57 miles
Actual Distance: 54 miles
At the beginning of November, as I started half marathon training, I was so excited to know I'd be writing a month-in-review post. At the beginning of this week, though, that excitement turned to frustration and disappointment.
I'm sick.
I'm the kind of sick that can't be run through. And that means my last week of my first month of training - which was supposed to be a crowning glory week - was a total bust. I am trying to remember two things as I sit down to write this with tissues, tea, and albuterol on hand: as far as motivation, consistency, and follow-through went, this month was perfect. As far as my legs, lungs, and body went, this month was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better first month of training...so even though this week is a wash, I can look back on November with pride.
I was on track to best my planned mileage, but that didn't end up happening.
As you can see, I started off the first week extending almost every run. I wanted to see what my body could do, and the plan I wrote is very conservative all the way through February. I basically wrote a "just get it done" plan but want to see if I can train on an "actually run this race like a race" plan.
The second week, I followed the weekday plan more closely but still built up mileage for the long run. I was really proud of myself for getting up early and doing these long runs by myself. It's been a long time since I've done that, and I forgot how amazing it makes you feel!
I didn't have a need to play with nutrition on any of my long runs; I brought food with me on my 8-miler but didn't stop to eat it. I was feeling so good, I was afraid to stop and drink/eat! I didn't want to mess up the roll I was on.
Anyway, despite this last week being a bust, I have to be proud of this month. I managed to run even on days I thought I might skip because of volleyball, and I made adjustments as necessary without flaking out. I was also surprised and pleased by how steady I kept my paces on my long runs; I didn't need walk breaks on any of them. It's like my body remembers how to do this distance running thing!
I am so looking forward to feeling better so I can be back on track ASAP. I'm upset that I missed my long run this weekend and I really don't want to miss next weekend's, too.
Planned Distance: 53 miles
Actual Distance: 51 miles
This was it. The big race we'd been training for. Elizabeth's first half marathon! Our birthday race. To say we had high expectations would be an understatement. Despite lingering calf issues and a minor cold, I was feeling ready and excited!
Unfortunately, this race went the way running things seem to be going lately for me. I was chock-full of Sudafed and Advil and race day dawned hot and humid. This was going to be a battle.
I should've taken this more seriously.
But let's start at the beginning.
Saturday
Matt, Elizabeth and I arrived in Fort Lauderdale around 1pm.
Five minutes after being in the car: "By the way, I'm going to make you take tons of pictures this weekend! Smile!"
We dropped our things at Oden's and then went to lunch, then finally to the expo. The A1A expo is always excellent, and this year was no exception! I made sure to stock up on free samples and half-priced Gu while dragging Elizabeth into a million photos.
Of course, finding our names on one big wall wasn't enough; we had to sign another! We also found our names on a Lexus, but I didn't get a picture of that one.
After the expo, we relaxed at Oden's until dinnertime. I had a huge baked potato and chopped salad and felt full and well-fueled. We laid out our things for the morning and got to bed at a decent hour.
Yes, our outfits were accidentally opposite-coordinating colors. We did not really plan this.
Elizabeth is new to "flat runner" pictures and was perplexed when I added all my accessories, Gu, etc. She asked, "So, should I put everything I'll use on race day?" and tossed the box of anti-diarrheal into her pile. We died.
Sunday
I woke up easily at 4am and drank a Starbucks Espresso Doubleshot in bed. When I felt a little more awake, I made my UCAN and had most of a pop-tart. We were out the door by 4:50 and by 5:05 we were parked in our usual off-site spot.
Oh. Great. 100% humidity and actually partially cloudy was a dirty, dirty lie.
After a long wait for the bathroom, Elizabeth and I packed our pockets and gave Matt our castoffs. He left us before the start gun because he was going to put Skirt Sports discount cards on cars before he went back to rendezvous with Oden and get a bike, etc.
Ready to go!
Still waiting for the countdown!
Elizabeth and I made one more bathroom stop and then the race began! The beginning was so crowded that we had to dodge, weave, and sprint a bit to stay together. It was frustrating. Although we started closer to the front than I usually do, we were still behind a lot of people who were walking within the first quarter mile...many of them did not use proper etiquette, which aggravates me!
Just getting ready to run with 4000 other running buddies!
My calves felt a bit tight but not bad. At mile .19, we had just crossed the train tracks when we heard the train! A loud whistle sounded not far from us and the crossing lights and bells went off. Yes...a train cut through half the runners less than a quarter mile into the race!
(I borrowed this video from a Sub-30 buddy. Those runners waited 10 minutes for the train to pass, then got a second start with adjusted times. I'm so glad we were past it when it happened!)
Here we go!
By mile 3, my legs felt great. The humidity was making it hard to steady my breathing, but for the first six miles everything felt doable. We were keeping a good pace and the crowds had mostly cleared up, so there was no more dodging.
We passed Matt and Oden around mile 4; Matt had his OneWheel and Oden had rented a bike.
Mile 4 and feeling fine!
See ya!
Around mile seven the humidity and all the unintended fartleking caught up with me. I couldn't get my heart-rate under control and I felt sick. I had goosebumps even though I was really warm; my stomach hurt; I felt dizzy. I had told Elizabeth not to let me walk if my calves were "annoying" but not painful. But this was different.
I hated to do it, but I had to walk. I had a Gu, hoping the sugar would help, and it did, but it also made my stomach hurt more. We were pouring water on ourselves at every water stop but I was fried.
Bye, wheels.
I feel very guilty about all this. Elizabeth was great. She offered to call Matt to see if he could get my inhaler to me, but the issue wasn't really asthma-related. I kept apologizing and she finally told me to just STOP and have fun and let's do this together, who cares what happens to our goal? She was the best, but I felt so defeated. We had started out with lots of cushion to meet our goal, but I could see it slipping away from us...and it was my fault.
Around mile 9 I stopped at a medical tent for ice and shoved it down my bra.
I can't imagine I really looked strong but she is really nice for saying so!
Around mile 10 I saw an old college friend volunteering at a water stop and forced a sweaty hug on her; she and I were English majors together and since then have bonded a bit over running, and seeing her brought back to me all the beautiful, empowering ways running has changed me, and that helped me mentally the rest of the race.
Around mile 11 we saw Matt and Oden again and I asked them to get us Coke if they could. I also realized I had somehow managed to get gum in my eyebrow.
I am grinning because I am about to yell, "BRING US COKES AT THE FINISH!"
And then, finally...oh god, FINALLY, we got to mile 13. Steph and Oden and Matt were there. Elizabeth and I finally picked it up and "sprinted" through the last 10th.
The finish is in sight!
Finishing this thing together!
I immediately got a giant bag of ice from the medical tent and put it on my neck, then chugged the Coke the boys had picked up for me.
As usual, our support team was amazing. They got up early, carried our stuff, rented bikes, saw us multiple times on the course, and managed to buy us Cokes and get to the finish line in time to see us cross. I couldn't ask for better and I am so grateful for them; I know how lucky we are!
I honestly don't know what happened to me out there. I mean, I know the heat was no joke; we saw a handful of runners pulled off the course on stretchers, but I've never experienced those symptoms before. Maybe the Sudafed had dehydrated me more than I expected? Maybe I was just not as strong and prepared as I thought?
What was so tough mentally was that my legs felt good and when we were running, they wanted to run fast, but my body just couldn't take it. My heart-rate would skyrocket after just a couple minutes and I'd have to walk again.
I am frustrated that I couldn't power through and hold onto that 2:20 goal. This feels like BDR all over again; I feel fired up to run another half at a pace I know I can feel proud of. And I hate writing race reports that sound like they're full of excuses, but it is what it is. We got out there. I did the best I could and Elizabeth stuck with me when she could have easily powered through faster on her own.
2:28:47...I've run faster and I've run slower, but this race will always be special because we ran it together.
We finished. There were times I thought I might DNF but we finished. And what's more, we finished together, just as we planned.
My mom asked Matt to get us flowers so Elizabeth could have the "full race experience." She is SO thoughtful!
After we made it back to Oden's and showered, we went for brunch at the Original Pancake House, where I had a plate of blueberry pancakes and Elizabeth had a giant apple crepe. Food makes everything better!
Full disclosure: I took this picture after already having eaten one pancake.
This may not have been my best race, but I think Elizabeth feels accomplished for finishing. She does seem a little dubious about my insistence that we do another. Although it was a far cry from my past performances and downright painful at times, I'm already thinking about signing up for A1A again next year! I just can't stay away.
Oh, and here is a video of us at the finish because I know some of you like that!
