In 2015 I ran the half for the first time. In 2016 I ran the full, choosing it because I remembered loving the half course so much every time I ran it...which I guess was just one time. In 2017 I ran the half with Elizabeth. In 2018 I ran the 5k. And now, this past weekend, I ran the half again.
The reason this has been on my mind is because I feel like I have a strong connection to this race, but I've kind of manufactured some memories of it that aren't entirely accurate. I knew, for example, that I once ran the half with a bad cold and surprised myself with my results; I didn't realize, though, that that happened the first year I ever ran it, in 2015.
I was thinking about this because I went into this year's race with a bad cold and some doubts about how I'd feel on race day. Luckily, the worst of my symptoms began to clear up by Friday and by Sunday I was breathing easy, and finally coughing up some nasty junk.
On the Friday before the race, we drove down to Boynton to see my sister and Gordon, who just got engaged. We enjoyed a late dinner with them and spent the night there. On Saturday, we headed down to Fort Lauderdale. As usual, the plan was to meet up with Oden, whose house we'd be staying at again, then grab lunch and hit the expo.
This year I signed "I'm back, baby!" |
I took an unscheduled nap on Oden's couch before we went out to Glitch (a video game bar) for a couple hours and then grabbed sushi for dinner. I'm really loving these video game bars; I wish we had one near us!
Playing some classic Mario Kart. We also played on the new Nintendo Switch and it was really fun! |
Race day dawned early. I was up at 4am and avoided checking the weather. I knew it was going to be warm and humid. There was no point in worrying about it. I still hadn't chosen my full race outfit because of the forecast, but I had options. I had my usual breakfast (GF oatmeal with PB2 and honey, plus some coffee and a glass of water with Emergen-C mixed in) and got dressed. Matt and I left Oden's at 5am for the short drive to the start.
During the drive, my anxiety built. I was suddenly so nervous I was shaking. It wasn't just anticipatory anxiety; I was terrified. I couldn't pinpoint exactly where the fear was coming from; I was sure I'd be able to finish this race, and I truly didn't have a goal beyond that. Maybe it was the knowledge that there was a lot riding on it. It was going to serve as proof that I'm fully recovered from CECS. Maybe that pressure just got into my head.
Weirdly, once we got to the corrals, I felt better. This was familiar. I used the porta-potty, took some pictures, and got right back in line to use it again. I made the rash (but smart) decision to strip off my tank top. I was already warm! I didn't want to carry it with me the entire race.
I was self-conscious about running shirtless, but I also knew no one would care and it would give me a better chance at having a successful race. Then, Matt walked with me up to the 10:00 pacing area and prepared to leave.
My #1 fan |
Zoning in. |
This race is huge, so the start is pretty anti-climatic. After the gun, I walked with the rest of the crowd until we finally reached the start line, about 3 minutes later. Then, I started running.
The moment I crossed the start line and began to run, I was overcome with emotion. I immediately felt really good and steady; all my fears and doubts and overthinking stopped. I just felt wonderful. I'd been counting on this race to make me feel like the whole CECS "journey" is at an end, and I was hyperaware that the first step of this race meant I was finally, finally, in the last moments of that damn chapter of my running story. In a couple hours, two years of struggle would be behind me.
I held back tears for the entire first mile.
The spot where Matt and Oden planned to set up shop. I would pass them three times on the course if they stayed in that area. |
Heat and humidity aren't things I can control. There was no point in worrying about them anymore.
This race has amazing views! |
Around mile 6.5 |
I grabbed a cup of water.
I had completed every long run of training without water. I was really well hydrated and had taken salt before the start. I didn't need water, but wanted to rinse my mouth. I should have just popped in my second piece of gum. The minute I slowed down to take a drink, I knew getting back into a rhythm would be tough; the mental seal was broken.
I took a second cup to pour over my head. At this point the sun was well up, but we were mostly in shade from buildings along the road. It was around mile 10 that those buildings clear because you're running along the beach again, and that was when things really got hot.
Between miles 10 and 13 I took a few short walk breaks and had some more water. I stole some ice from an open bag at one of the stops. I never felt bad about walking; again, I didn't have a real goal in mind. I saw the 2:15 pacer pass me but she stayed within view, so I had an idea that even if my GPS had gotten screwy in the nature preserve, I was still setting a good overall pace. My lower legs felt a little stiff in a very this is tough work why are we doing this kind of way, but not in a we are rocks that can't be run through and you're having a recurrence of compartment syndrome way.
My goal for this race was to run with joy and finish with a smile on my face. I admit there were times on the course that I lost the joy, but that's part of racing, I think. It's hard in the final miles of a tough race to keep gratitude at the forefront of your mind.
I saw Matt and Oden once more at mile 11ish and then watched them zoom by toward the finish line to meet me there. I kept plugging away. I admit I wasn't enjoying myself at this point. I was hot and achey and ready to be done. I remember thinking that I had zero interest in running a full marathon anytime soon. I had forgotten how tough long distance races can be!
Around mile 11 |
Coming toward the finish |
I was honestly too exhausted to feel many emotions right there at the finish. I was in a weird tunnel-vision headspace, and the bigger picture of the finish's significance had faded away to be replaced by my more immediate needs: to get water and sit down.
Soon after finding my wonderful cheer squad and taking pictures, things started to set in. I relived the highlights of the race in my head. I remembered the emotion at the start line. I felt the joy come back.
Honestly the prettiest medal I have, I think! |
Best sister ever! |
I have the BEST cheer squad! I do not take it for granted that they get up early every year to make this race special for me! |
Blueberry pancakes, eggs, bacon, hash browns...just what I wanted! |
I'll finish this post by thanking everyone who has been following my training and cheering me on the last few months. It's been a long road, and I couldn't have done it alone. I love the running community!
ABK
Amazing!!!!! I felt for you and everyone else when I walked out my door in the morning and felt the heat and humidity hit me. Miles 11-13 of this course aren’t just hard they are BRUTAL on days when the sun is out because there is absolutely no where to hide from it. During the relay when I hit those miles I wondered why I ever choose to run any race along A1A haha!
ReplyDeleteYOU did so amazing and make it look easy! You said this was a course PR for you too right? Incredible!
Sometimes, I honestly wonder why I love this race so much. The end is ALWAYS so, so tough!
DeleteThis was a course PR by about 40 seconds, but I'm counting it! I really think having a sort of blase attitude about the race, and knowing it would happen and that nothing else mattered, made it easy to just power through and keep going!
Congratulations Ali!! I felt the emotion as if I was out there running with you! You had a great race and looked so strong! I look forward to seeing what's next!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Janelle!
DeleteSo many things...
ReplyDeleteCongrats to your sis and Gordon!
I do NOT like expos! Ever.
I never even HEARD of video game bars! Can you eat mostly any sushi? Prob not the fried stuff?
I'm glad you were confident to not wear a shirt.
Congrats on a course PR!!! I am so glad your race experience was awesome! You worked so hard. :) Mentally and physically. You deserve this. :)
Video game bars seem to be the new thing in Ft. Lauderdale! Matt and I were saying it would be a fun business venture. Basically these bars buy old arcade games (I played Frogger at Glitch, and Donkey Kong, and Pacman!) and they also get old TVs and set up old home systems like Nintendo 64 etc. So people get drinks and play the games. It's so fun!
DeleteI can't have fried stuff or fake crab. I prefer raw sushi anyway. I love raw salmon and tuna.
Thank you...the race was really great :)
Thanks, Karen! It was a really good race, and I'm happy with it!
ReplyDelete