Getting Ready for A1A

When I read/watched Kristina's recent post about her 5k goals it got me thinking. It's honestly so strange to have a goal that is actually just "finish this race on my feet, uninjured, preferably at a comfortable jog." I have no A, B, and C goals here. I have no pace goal. And yet, I still feel nervous and have butterfly-tummy just thinking about A1A this Saturday!

This weekend is going to be a little strange for a few reasons, I think, because of how different it will be. Rather than being a race at the end of training cycle, it will be the first race of Part II of my life as a runner. It will be a beginning, not an ending.

Feeling this level of excited anticipation over a 5k is a little odd for me. I feel like I'm gearing up to run a long-distance race! Part of that is probably due to my memories of A1A, which I associate with long-distance, but obviously it's also because this race is huge for me.

I won't need piles of pancakes to replenish my calories after crossing the finish line this year, but maybe I'll get them anyway to celebrate this comeback.

I am too old to make such a big deal out of my birthday but I just don't care.

I like to run A1A annually because it's a pretty race and it gives Matt and me the chance to see our friend Oden. The thought out missing out on it made me sad; even though last year's race was rough, it didn't diminish my love for A1A. This year, running it has even more significance.

It's the last race I ran in 2017 before my diagnosis, so it feels like coming full circle.

Finishing in 2017 with Elizabeth was really special even though the race sucked and I probably had heat exhaustion.

It has a finisher's medal, which is unusual for a 5k and which will be a nice physical reminder of this race as a comeback.

It lands on my birthday weekend, as usual. This will be a great way to say goodbye to the pain and frustration of last year and to welcome the next year of my life! My usual "cheer squad" will be running too, some of them right along with me!

Mile 20 of the full in 2016 - Steph hopped on the course to boost my spirits!

I kind of wanted to plan to do the A1A full marathon in 2019, but it's looking like I'll be missing it because it falls on the weekend of friends' bachelor/bachelorette getaway, so this will be my first hurrah back and also a chance to say goodbye to this particular race for another year or two. I just know it's going to be fantastic; I can already tell I'm going to be ridiculous and emotional because just thinking about it gives me goosebumps and chokes me up a bit. (And how sick are you of all these "I'm making a comeback!" posts?)

Thinking about how overwhelmed and emotional I felt when I finally got to run after having my second surgery, I'm just sure race day is going to be a big, beautiful mess.

ABK

I Ran 3 Miles!

On Saturday, Matt and I went for a run on the golf course for the first time in months. I switched my intervals to 2:1 because 3:1 has begun to feel like too much effort too soon. At the end of each run, I'm totally wiped; there's no "easy" effort with 3:1.

About 1.5 miles into the run, I told Matt, "I don't know how I'll ever do that 5k next weekend. I'm already feeling so tired and weak." I felt frustrated and a little hopeless, knowing I've been able to do about 2.5 miles but that I still don't feel like I'm making progress as far as strength and stamina goes.

He assured me that even if I end up walking the last mile of the race, I'll be able to do a 5k.

We continued on our run. My body finally found its groove, as it would after a couple miles of warmup in the old days, and before I knew it my watch was beeping...we'd done 3 miles! The last 1.5 had felt really good!

Matt is such a good photographer!

We ended up doing 3.16 and on the last walk break I just decided to walk the rest of the way home; there was no point in pushing it.

This run gave me tons of confidence and made me feel so strong. I gave Matt a high five and spent the rest of the night totally jazzed. I didn't care that I'd walked about half of it with the intervals. I was so happy that my legs weren't sore and spent at the end.

The run took about 35 minutes. After spending 2015 going for speed and finally breaking my 5k PR, chipping away at the 26:xx range and trying to get to 25:xx, it's ironic that running that distance nearly 10 minutes slower made me so happy!

This is how you know you're back at square one. Distance completely supersedes pace. I'm too happy to be running to feel anything else. I'll run without intervals again eventually, and I'll get back to my previous paces. If I'm honest with myself, right now I can't really imagine ever getting there, but I know logically that I will. For now, I am just going to be patient and celebrate my small victories as they come.

ABK

Waking Up

The hardest thing right now is sticking to two runs a week. Often I want to do more, but my first week that I was cleared to run again, I did three runs (a total of 6 miles for the week), and I was sore for days afterward and I got all paranoid that I had injured myself.

I've done 6 runs since my return to running 3 weeks ago!

Last week I started adding a little bit of mileage to my runs, bumping from 2 to ~2.5. I have my 5k on February 17 and I want to be sure I can cover that distance without injuring myself.

Starting next week, I am going to try adding a third run and will see how things go.

I've also noticed that during the running portions of my intervals, I'm really slipping into some speedy territory. I've glanced down at my watch and seen low 9's, which is way too much effort, and I've had to pull myself back. I'm aiming to do the running intervals in the 10s because otherwise I really start to lose energy toward the end of my 2-milers.

I have no business running at this pace, even for a few seconds.

I've been anxious about running alone, but did manage to get a solo run in last week that really boosted my confidence. Then, I was in a rush to get a run done before Matt and I went out this Friday,  so I went alone again. Matt was still at the studio, but he found me on his way home and joined me toward the end of the run.

First solo run!

He has been so supportive. I mean, he always is a supportive partner, but the fact that he wants to come with me and takes all kinds of pictures and is excited for me is just so appreciated. On Friday, I veered off our usual loop to add some mileage and his response was, "Look at you, adding distance!" and he was just so proud and happy for me...It feels good to share the excitement of baby steps with someone.

Friday's run...this was the first one that I felt really decent overall the entire time, just tired near the end.

These runs are far from perfect. Both my calves feel a little weak and there are the usual aches and pains that accompany getting back into exercise after a long time off. I am trying not to overthink any of that; mostly I am just overjoyed to be running again at all. My heart and mind are in a state of pure bliss when I'm out there.

I am truly beginning to feel like myself again, like I've been in hibernation and am slowly waking up. I feel better overall. I knew being unable to run was having psychological effects on me, but now those effects are falling away and I feel this overwhelming sense of relief and hope. At the same time, I still feel scared; like maybe this is all too good to be true.

Anyway, I can't accurately describe how full my heart is during every run these days. I just hope the feeling continues.

ABK