Onto the next

I'm halfway to my goal of running a race each season. Winter and spring are behind me, and summer is on the horizon. Originally, my summer half was going to be in August, but for a few reasons I transferred to a late-June race instead. (The race date of June 20th is actually one day ahead of summer's official start date, but it's close enough for jazz.)

That means I have less than six weeks to prepare for it, and that I'll have to wait to implement the plans that have been percolating in my head since I crossed the finish line of the Kirkland Half.

What plans, you ask?

Well, going back to the mixed feelings I mentioned having in my last post, I've come to terms with the fact that I've been running for 18 years and I haven't made much progress.

I'm not faster. Runs don't feel easier. I've finally found a workout cadence I can commit to, and being this consistent definitely suggests growth of some kind, but all my runs fall into the same category: x-number of miles at whatever pace feels good that day.

It feels good to be so consistent, but frustrating to not see much growth.

It's a hard pill to swallow that in February, I believe I was in PR-condition and let the opportunity go to waste. After 18 half marathons I should have a better handle on my pacing, despite difficult factors like a hilly course or unseasonably warm weather.

I should be able to snag a time in the two-teens fairly easily, but my half times are still unpredictable because I don't actually train for a specific pace, and on race day I never have a goal in mind. PRs are a fluke and it seems the stars have to align for them to happen. I just fly by the seat of my pants, happy to finish...until I do, and then I feel a little disappointed I wasn't faster.

And I know it's all about perspective, and that "fast" is relative, but I can't help but feel that after all this time, a 10-minute mile shouldn't feel so impossible during a half.

2023.

My most recent half PR came out of nowhere. I hadn't run a half in four years and it was the only race I ran that year. I still have no idea how it happened, because despite continuing to run consistently, I've never come close again.

I know the way to fix this is to adjust my training to match my desired outcome, and that means being firm about actually setting goals instead of just "running for fun". Fast races take work, dedication, discomfort, and purposeful training.

That AI-coached running app Runna has been all over my algorithms, and as a Strava subscriber I know I can get two weeks free, but I don't want to pay for an AI coach. After so many years of running, I should be able to do my own reading and make a training plan for myself that makes sense. That's not really the issue. The issue is my fear of failure.

Not fear of failure on race day—that's happened to me many times before and it doesn't faze me. What I worry about is, after all this time, what if I can't actually complete a prescribed training plan? What if I can't hold a pace on a tempo run? What if I'm actually incapable of getting better?

I guess I've never really tried, now that I'm thinking about it. I've followed plans for suggested mileage, but I've never attempted to nail a particular pace on any run. I even leave speed work—which I haven't done in ages—up to feel.

June's race.

So I'm going to try something new. After my summer half, as I prepare to run the Orca Half for the second time, I will build myself a training plan that includes prescribed paces and I will do my best to follow it. And then we'll see what I'm capable of when I actually set a goal and do the work to achieve it.

Wish me luck.

Ali