Wednesday, when I reluctantly went for my first run in ten days, I started at a walk. Part of me was scared to break into my usual warmup pace...I just felt like this run was doomed to be difficult. A punishment of sorts. I expected to berate myself the entire time, This is what you get for taking ten days off.
I was surprised, then, when it had the opposite effect. I didn't have a set distance planned; I just wanted to get moving and break out of the slump I'd fallen into. If that was all I got out of the run, I would have been happy.
But in fact, I got more. I hadn't realized how much junk has been swirling in my mind lately. I must be more stressed than I realized, and not exercising obviously compounded the issue. It almost felt like my brain was waiting for this run to happen so it could finally have a chance to dump everything and examine it and reorganize it and put it to bed.
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| I loved chasing the last rays of the sun as they shot out from behind the trees. The entire evening just felt serene. |
I wasn't looking to have any epiphanies on a run that I wholly expected to be awful, but that's just what happened!
Anyway, I decided I'll be running the 10k this weekend after all. I know if I don't I'll never let myself live it down. I'm not at all in shape for it, and I originally wanted to PR this race, so it will also serve as a humbling reminder not to let my training fall by the wayside.
The Monday after the race will mark the start of my two-week run streak.
Losing motivation as the weather heats up is normal for me, but I really want to combat my tendency to give in to lethargy. I want to stay active this summer! I feel like I have a realistic plan to get myself back on track.
Have you ever experienced a totally unexpected aha moment on a run?
ABK
Hooray for getting out there and clearing out some of the brain clutter/stress!!! I think that sometimes thinking about a workout is the hard part - doing it is usually really great!!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! The hardest step is just getting yourself out the door!
DeleteI'm so glad you went for the run :) Have fun at your 10k! Even if you don't PR, just enjoy the experience :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! It was tough, but worth it.
DeleteCongrats on your half, girl!!
Sometimes the first run back after a hiatus is the best - your body is craving the exercise and your legs are well rested and fresh. Running definitely helps me with stress, but not in some ground-breaking cathartic way like it does for a lot of people. It's just a time when I can be above the stress for a while. When I'm running, I'll still be thinking about my stressors but they seem far away - like I can think about them but they can't affect me.
ReplyDeleteGood luck tomorrow!! I'm sure you will do great. You may surprise yourself and get an awesome time! I've gotten PRs on races I was undertrained for - there is an advantage to going into a race fresh, well-rested and fully stocked on energy :) BEST OF LUCK and have fun!
I've been struggling with some stuff at school, so the run was a great time to kind of figure out solutions I had trouble focusing on otherwise!
DeleteMy PR is drastically faster than I'm running right now...I know I won't topple it this time, and that's okay! I'll aim to get it in October.
I don't know what you're going through but I can relate 100%. When I got my layoff notice, I would bolt awake in the middle of the night with those awful "How am I going to make my mortgage / feed my kid? thoughts. Once I started running again, those fears were replaced by confidence, and during the runs my brain had positive thoughts: I'm GOING to find another job, I still have my savings, etc. Running did that for me and it truly all worked out in the end. I didn't lose the house and the kid is still eating. ha ha
ReplyDeleteGOOD LUCK ON YOUR 10K. Don't be too hard on yourself, taking a break is completely OK and even well-deserved!
I'm SO glad running brought you comfort during such a difficult time!! This run definitely helped me figure out some solutions to work things that had been eluding me otherwise.
DeleteI don't know what you're going through but I can relate 100%. When I got my layoff notice, I would bolt awake in the middle of the night with those awful "How am I going to make my mortgage / feed my kid? thoughts. Once I started running again, those fears were replaced by confidence, and during the runs my brain had positive thoughts: I'm GOING to find another job, I still have my savings, etc. Running did that for me and it truly all worked out in the end. I didn't lose the house and the kid is still eating. ha ha
ReplyDeleteGOOD LUCK ON YOUR 10K. Don't be too hard on yourself, taking a break is completely OK and even well-deserved!
Don't be so hard on yourself for taking a little running break! It happens, and sometimes I think it's good to step back for a bit. Good luck on your 10K! I hope you enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteI gave myself necessary time off...and then some! I definitely took TOO much time this time!
DeleteYep, when I first bought my car I had some problems and wasn't sure I was going to get the car I wanted at the deal I wanted. I was stressed to the MAX and just needed to run- so I did. And then everything magically worked out. I can't say what actually happened because I don't really know on their end, but later that day I received a call and we had a deal! I was so relieved! Now I think that running outfit I was wearing adn that route are my "lucky running outfit and route" haha. It definitely helps clear my head to run! Good luck on your 10k- I took a lot of time off and didn't really train for mine back in January and totally PR'd so I know you can do it! :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's so funny how running can make everything better!
DeleteGood on you for getting out there. The other day was completely awful for me...with tears and all...but then I went for a 5k run and felt 100% better than I did when I started...it's amazing how running does that for us. Use the 10k race as a chance to have fun and remember why you run to start with!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad running brought your solace!! It sounds like you had a rough day. I love that running a natural cure to a stressful/bad day!
DeleteI love your plan, it sounds really good. The last two weeks I've run under 10 miles and I think part of the problem I'm facing is that when I do run I want it to be SO AMAZING and it's been falling short of expectations which bums me out. I need to do what you did and go out with no expectations. I'm going to do that tomorrow morning!
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a really enjoyable race!
Ah, expectations can really get in our way!! I know you've been dealing with your hip pain, too. When you're all healed up, the confidence will come back and you'll have a great run to put things right!
DeleteI find getting myself out the door is the hardest part. I will procrastinate, but when I finally get out there, I am usually fine. I tell myself I only have to run 2 miles, but I have always continued on with the workout.
ReplyDeleteIf I am really stressed, my husband usually tells me to go running--he knows how much it helps me.
Definitely, just getting into my running clothes in the hardest part sometimes!
DeleteThis was one of those runs where Matt almost had to push me out the door and make me go!