Monday, June 18, 2012

A Different Kind of Post

It feels funny opening up a blog post with 16 days gone since the last one...and the last run.

As I mentioned previously, my absence was due to my spending 10 days in Israel. The experience was truly extraordinary and too complex to put into words. I'm not going to try...for many reasons, not the least of which is that this is a running blog. I may do some existential exercises here, but only if they relate to The Run.

It was hard at first, as it always is, to forgo my routine. I had run a race just-for-fun the day before I left, but the first few days of my trip involved a lot of bus riding. I was itching and aching for a run. With only so many clothes packed and no laundry in sight, I knew running wasn't an option. After I finally wrapped my head around that and decided to just live in the moment and enjoy the crazy hustle of the trip, I almost forgot I was missing running. Almost.

I got back to the States on the 14th, but didn't get home until the evening of the 15th. My goal for the 16th was to eat pancakes for breakfast and stay in pajamas all day. Mission accomplished! And yesterday and today were spent almost entirely posting photos, reviewing photos, and running the kinds of the errands that can be very fun if viewed in the right light. The kind that make you feel you've somehow miraculously organized your life.

This evening, as I drove home from such an errand, I said to M, "I may run tonight. It's 7:30, I can do just a mile to get back into things, I'm not starving or full..." But of course, an hour later found us reorganizing things we had just bought, and now it's nearly 11pm and I didn't get a run in.

I'm in a weird place. I'm not really avoiding running again, although there is some anxiety there because of the two weeks off. Mostly I just feel overwhelmingly lethargic. It's brutally hot. I've been traveling on the kind of vacation that is not at all a vacation. It's nice to just sit. At the same time, I'm feeling over-charged and antsy. I'm waking up at 6:45am naturally (probably due to jetlag more than anything), but instead of going for a run, I spend a few hours reading in bed.

(I still have not figured out the art of becoming a morning runner; and yet, in Israel, I was able to roll out of bed at 3:30 to hike Masada for sunrise. Where are my priorities?! haha.)

I guess I'm just not feeling a lot of pressure to get back into it. That's fine. I run for fun, for myself. I'm not trying to prove myself to anyone. I didn't gain weight on the trip so I don't feel an overpowering urge to whip myself back into any kind of shape. But I feel better all-around when I'm active. So this week, I will get a run in. Maybe only one or two miles, but it will happen. I will reconnect with my physical body, which I cut some slack (for the sake of my emotional and mental bodies) during my trip.

I am both looking forward to it and not at all motivated. It's a very strange place to be. I suppose I should enjoy it now, because we all know what happens when the running bug bites again, and then it's all about the next run and the next and the next...

To be honest, I'm actually looking forward to the bite. I have a feeling my next few runs will prove to be some of the most challenging and wonderful of my year so far.


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