The wheels fall off

My spring half marathon is four weeks away and I am plagued with doubt.

My training for this race started on a high note. I ramped up my long runs fairly quickly and felt strong. I resolved to run the Burke Gilman more frequently to get some rolling hills on my legs, in preparation for the race course.

Then, five weeks to race day, my various kryptonites converged. 

First, the pollen count in Seattle skyrocketed and I dealt with the worst allergies I can ever remember having here. My eyes were swollen and itchy, my sinuses ached, my throat hurt, and the histamine storm in my body completely depleted my energy. 

Five days of this. Fun.

Then, my period started. I've been dealing with breakthrough bleeding for a year now, and this time it arrived at the most inopportune moment. During my period, I no longer suffer from bad bloating or cramps, but instead, my mental health absolutely bottoms out. I become depressed, lethargic, and filled with self-loathing that makes it impossible to stay active. It's all I can do to be productive at work—there's nothing left in the tank when I get home each day.

To top it off, Passover was this week. While I love Passover (it's probably my favorite holiday), it's not a low-effort undertaking. Matt and I spent more than an hour grocery shopping, and then I spent multiple days cooking and preparing for my seder. It was stressful in the moment, even though, as always, I was happy I hosted.

I don't think I got one workout in last week, even though my intentions were good. And part of me thought I could use the extra rest—in fact, since I had taken some time off work for the holiday, I got at least 9 hours of sleep each night and it was clear I needed it—but I do think I took "rest" too far. Before I knew it, the week had gotten away from me and all I'd done was a leisurely walk with Matt and Zoe.

We practiced commands and tried to get her some exposure therapy to other dogs. She did...okay!

Now it's crunch time. I managed 7.5 miles this Sunday, but with only four weekends until race day, I need to be diligent and smart about the end of this training cycle. That, or I transfer this race registration to a different half later in the spring...but that would be a last resort.

I find myself in a boat I've been in before, and usually I handle it by building up my long runs so that race day distance feels like a natural progression. It's sad to think I came off the Lost Dutchman feeling ready to PR, and now I'm thinking I'll barely squeak by with a respectable time.

For the next few weeks, my long runs will be 8-9 miles, 9-10 miles, and finally 10-12 miles. This doesn't give me time to taper, and I do run best on fresh legs, so I may have to rethink this as race day draws closer, depending on how I feel.

It's warming up and we're getting some springtime sun, so hopefully that helps motivate me out the door. April's training has to be consistent and nearly-perfect, and I am determined to see it through.

Ali