The countdown begins

Fourteen months ago, my sister roped me into her journey to get into the best shape of her life by 40. While she still has a couple years to meet her goal, time has caught up with me, and now I'm four weeks out from the big day.

In a month, I'll be 40.

Not to be corny, but these last 14 months have been life-changing in some unexpected ways, but even as I say that, I'm not sure what I expected. Did I think I'd be wiry with muscle for the first time in my life? That I'd lose my sweet tooth and suddenly be capable of making only the very best decisions when faced with treats or meal planning? Because none of those things has come to fruition.

And yet...

I actually do feel that I've met my goal. And looking ahead, I know that I will only continue this new lifestyle that I finally, after years of seeking, have found and dedicated myself to. That kind of certainty in itself is new to me, and I know it sounds funny coming from someone who's been running for nearly two decades now, but this feels different, somehow.

So what really is "the best shape of my life"? What I'm realizing is that it's about a lot more than just changing my body. This commitment to change has been holistic, and I didn't anticipate that. Maybe it was naive to think seeking physical improvement wouldn't impact my mind. It seems obvious that it would, looking back on it.

With four weeks to go, this what I've learned.

"Fit by 40" isn't only about my actual body changing—it’s more about being in a mental place where I’m much more consistent and committed to my goals and living a healthier, more well-rounded, and more balanced life. Where fitness is a habit I don't have to think about because it's become fully integrated into my life. Where I have let go of most of the negative messaging around my body. Where I've let go of the narrative that I'm not an athlete and have leaned into accepting that I am, in fact, an active person now.

Even top athletes don’t stay in peak condition all year round and it’s definitely impossible to hold myself to that standard. Something that resonated with me this year was the idea that when you commit to "all or nothing," you tend to do a whole lot of nothing, and not much all. 

I've finally learned that flexibility isn't making excuses; it's key to consistency.

Accepting that consistency does not mean perfection—that it means looking at the bigger picture across a longer scope of time, rather than checking off every single planned workout in a week—has freed me from the doom-spiral I fall into when I miss a workout or two. And being freed from that doom-cycle makes it easier to jump right back in, rather than fully giving up and stewing in feelings of worthlessness or self-loathing.

I've finally accepted that things happen that disrupt the best laid plans. You fall off the wagon because you’re burnt out, or you’re sick, or you’re traveling, or it’s the holidays...but what I’ve noticed in this past year+ is that it’s easier to get back into my routine after a disruption, and I genuinely miss it when I'm taking a break.

I can tell that I have a new level of mental resilience than I've ever had, and new love, acceptance, and pride in my body and what it can do. Exercise feels like a necessity, and not a punishment. Especially in the last month, I've been so much better at completing a workout even when I wasn't particularly excited about it. It's not negotiable anymore. Now, I just do it.

Last week I forgot a sports bra for the gym at work, and did the workout anyway.

So while the numbers on my scans have changed for the better, the bigger payoff (and lesson) has been about the journey and experiencing a real and sustainable lifestyle change.

When I think about exercise and wellness now, I don't think about a daily or weekly timeline. Instead, I think about the changes I'll see a year or five down the line. I've never been able to do that before.

Next month, I'll celebrate my 40th birthday with a half marathon in the desert, and however it goes I know it will be the exact right way to enter my 40s. I realize now that I am in my best shape ever, and that I am on a positive trajectory for life, no matter what each individual day or week brings. Progress isn't linear, and there isn't a set end-date when you can proclaim you're in the best shape of your life. 

It's a journey, and I'm so grateful to be on it.

Ali