|Like, I will go so far as to plan out and drive to my starting location and then seriously consider backing out.|
At first I thought maybe I was bored of my routes. I've been running the golf course pretty frequently and have been avoiding my usual bunny-infested neighborhood because of burnout, but now it seems the thing stopping me from going back there is some amorphous fear, not boredom.
I'm not sure if I'm just nervous about starting a real training plan now that I have a fall race lineup or if it's something else. I'm trying to psychoanalyze myself and coming up short.
Once I do start, within a couple minutes I'll turn into a gated neighborhood or have gotten out onto the main fairway of the golf course and I feel more at ease. I feel...less visible, and therefore better. Safer.
|Finally feeling good once I'm through the gates of a neighborhood where I don't belong.|
Once I get going I feel fine, or even really good, for the entirety of the run. So logically I know that if I can just get myself over the first hurdle I'll be fine. But it's so. dang. hard.
I'm not even sure what the solution is here besides to just keep forcing myself to power through the anxiety to get to the good stuff. But it would be nice if I could get to the root of this new issue and nip it in the bud so I can get on with my training, because the bottom line is that I'm looking forward to my races and anxiety is really messing with my plans!
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