Thursday, March 26, 2015

I Won't Follow You If

I'm wearing my sassy-pants today; you've been warned. 

I'm writing this post because I've noticed an increase in people following me and asking for me to follow in return; that's not how I operate. I don't follow just for numbers. This post is for them. 

I know I'm not a big blogger and maybe I don't have the "right" to be picky about who I follow, but in recent weeks I've definitely noticed a trend in how I decide who I'll add to my Instagram, Bloglovin', or Twitter feeds. Some might call me judgmental, but I don't have the time to spend on posters I don't mesh with.
I won't follow you if...You can't use proper grammar. Seriously, if your "about me" says "I luv 2 b @ the gym~", I can't close the tab fast enough. Why do random people searching to boost their numbers use such pathetic writing styles? It's such a turn-off.
I won't follow you if...Your "about me" lists your traits in an eye-roll-worthy order. This isn't about having the descriptors there at all; it has to do with how the person prioritizes them.

There are three main categories to this one, and I'm going to get flack for them all. If the first word someone uses to describe herself is "wife", I'm out of there; I feel like a woman's first descriptive word for herself shouldn't be about her marital status. 
The same is true with variations of "mom", such as "blessed mommy of 4!" I just know it will be hard to feel connected to that person if she identifies herself first-and-foremost by her motherhood.

Finally, overly religious tones in an "about me" send me packing. If the first thing in their profile is "Flying Spaghetti Monster Follower! <3" (or something similar, because I might actually follow a hardcore Pastafarian), I know the tone of their posts isn't going to be what I'm looking for in my search for fitness inspiration.
I won't follow you if...Your blog is a wall of text with no discernible paragraph breaks and a quirky font. I know blogs are all in good fun, but there has to be a level of professionalism, right?!
I'm not the only person wearing my sassy-pants today.
I won't follow you if...You're a one-trick pony. I used to follow running blogs that were just about running, but if I want to really feel connected to a blogger, I need to see more about their lives! A strict posting schedule that follows WIAW and the like can't hold my interest.

I won't follow you if...You're unnecessarily pessimistic. Listen, I'm a realist bordering on pessimist, and honest negativity can be refreshing and allow people to commiserate and connect. However, when I see people complain about perfectly awesome things all the time - like a ridiculously fast race that didn't meet their goal, or weekend full of fun travel that left them waaah, sooo tired! - I immediately need to leave that page.
I won't follow you if...You're closed-minded. The first time I see a racist, homophobic, sexist, etc, comment or post, I'm out of there.
That last one may seem ironic; I'm kind of painting myself as pretty closed-minded here. Obviously there are exceptions to the rules, but it's true that how we market ourselves in our profiles is very important to how we come across, and people make their decisions in split seconds!
I figure if people are turned-off by my profile or about me, we wouldn't have connected well anyway, and in the end I do think it's quality over quantity; I'll never understand people who go out and search for followers in droves because I'd rather follow 10 people I truly connect with than a million I hardly like.

Did you put a lot of thought into crafting your profile/about me?
Are there certain things that make you lose interest in a blogger/poster?

ABK

36 comments:

  1. Oh I like your sassy pants! I have to agree with most all of these and especially the bad grammar - no way. I just can't. I also love your use of the Ice Cube animated gif. Yep.

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    1. "Bye Felicia" seems to be making an internet comeback lately, so I couldn't resist! But yes, bad grammar absolutely kills me. Even if the blog has great content and I like the blogger, I just can't read it if the grammar is really bad!

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  2. I agree with so much of what you've said. However, I do take the time to go check out the blogs of anyone who follows me or leaves a substantive comment on my blog. Clearly they like something about me, so I am curious about them. Maybe they just want followers and I'm being naive. I've never had a "follow for follow" request, so maybe I would feel differently if that were a problem I faced.

    This post also reminded me that my blog has almost entirely about running for a while now. I can't talk about work/research because I work with human subjects and it would violate the research protocol. That makes a great deal of my life ineligible for blog post material, and when things get busy, as they have been recently, I don't have much else to talk about :( So really the problem here isn't that my blog might be boring and only about running, but that I should focus on my work/life balance a little more. Wait, wasn't that my new year's resolution? lol

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    1. I always check out people who follow me/leave a comment. But I tend to make my decisions really quickly about who I can or cannot identify with, even if they seem to like what I post.

      I bet your work and research is REALLY interesting but I understand the ethics of not sharing it. I love your blog, personally! It may be mostly running, but it doesn't follow a strict schedule like "motivation Monday" "training Tuesday" "What I Ate Wednesday" etc all week. Those are the ones that I get bored with.

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  3. I'm loving your post today! I agree with all of these, although I did have to go check my About Me section on my blog to make sure it wasn't eye-roll worthy...I think I'm okay. :)

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    1. Ha, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I see that I'm not the only one with these sassy opinions!

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  4. I use all of the same criteria to decide if I want to follow a blog or not. That's probably why we have many blog friends in common.

    Bloggers who don't fit into the criteria listed here can't sit with us! :D

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    1. We wear pink on Wednesdays ;o)

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    2. We don't talk about what we ate on Wednesdays! :D

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  5. I appreciate your honesty and I definitely agree with a lot of these! The comic sans pic cracked me up. So true. It blows my mind that so many people still use that font no matter how much it gets ridiculed. It's not even the default font so that means these people are making an effort to use it. WHY!!! It reminds me of teenage boys for some reason.

    I have a harder time putting into words why I won't follow a blog, but basically, I don't like blogs that are impersonal. I'm not interested in a zillion product reviews or a bunch of canned, overscheduled posts - I want to know about YOU. All of the above things are fine once in a while, of course, but I want to see balance and that the blogger has a personal connection to what they are writing about. Kind of like your point about one trick ponies. Write in your own voice, be authentic, and I will be interested in your blog even if we seem like totally different people. You can sense when someone is being fake, you know? But, the other extreme turns me off too: I don't want to hear every thought and emotion that goes through someone's head or a diary of every minute thing they do every day. Balance is key!!

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    1. Ooh I also agree with Hanna about blogs being full of product reviews. I skip those almost 100% of the time!

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    2. Haha...the fact that people CHOOSE Comic Sans on purpose boggles my mind!

      I agree, impersonal blogs are so boring. A blog is meant to be a little personal and have your personality and identity stamped on it in some way. I like authentic bloggers, too, even if our interests aren't all the same!

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  6. Haha! I agree with these points. I have a lot of trouble connecting with people that only talk about kids or define themselves as a wife or mom. I don't really mind if people are only talking about running, as long as they are interesting about it (that can be hard). I also like blogs with pictures. I like to have some context about where they are running and stuff like that.

    I didn't really put a huge amount of thought in my "About Me". Upon looking at it, I feel like it ends rather abruptly. Haha. I should change that!

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    1. Pictures are a must for some blogs, but if the writing is really good and shows a lot of personality, sometimes pictures aren't necessary. But yes, I like to see the blogger in their environment...it kind of makes it feel more personal and connected!

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  7. I love when you have your sassy pants on!!!! I have a very small blog and I know one of the reasons for that is because I don't go out looking for followers. I don't have Twitter or Instagram, and I don't read blogs that don't interest me simply to leave comments and gain more readers. I did the whole commenting thing when I first started blogging but it got too exhausting and I ended up having to read stuff that I had no interest in.

    Like you, I stay away from the blogs that are ALL about running. I like to hear about people's lives because I am invested in the blogger. And I steer clear of the Mommy Blogs because I just have ZERO interest in seeing pics of little kids and hearing about Mommying. (I have a feeling those Mommies don't come to my blog due to all the cat pictures so I know it goes both ways!!)

    I DID go back and look at my About Me after reading this and I was glad I did because I still listed myself as 31 and there were pics on there that weren't even showing up! I need to remind myself to go back and look at my pages once in awhile to make sure they are up to date.

    Besides blogs ALL about running and Mommy blogs, I have to stop reading blogs in which I think the person is overexercising. It is very frustrating for me to read about people's workouts when all I am thinking is, "WHY are you doing all of that!?" And they are all proud too. If you run 5 miles to the gym, lift for and hour, and then run 5 miles home, you are doing it ALL wrong. How is that an effective workout? I know that sounds snobby of me but I don't even know what to comment about to people who have posts like that.

    Anyway, more sassy posts Ali, PLEASE!

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    1. I used to comment for followers too but you're right, it ends up taking up SO much time and I was reading blogs that annoyed me!

      There are a couple blogs-of-mommies that I like, but if the blog is first and foremost and mommy-blog, I'm unlikely to stick around. Clearly it's just not our area of interest ;o)

      I try to hide Sassy Ali a bit because...well, my students know I'm sarcastic and some of them read this, so I like to keep myself pretty PG. But once in awhile it just comes out!

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  8. The grammar is most definitely a turn off for me as well - it drives me nuts when people use the wrong "your." Also, yes to the quirky fonts! Looking bak on my old blog, I cringe about the first type I used. (Crafty Girls ;) )

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    1. I think you have to give yourself some slack because your old blog was started when you were fairly young! So the funny font makes sense.

      I tried to sign up for email updates on your blog, btw, but the emails don't seem to be coming through!

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    2. Well I personally think you should have Saturdays be "Sassy Saturday" on your blog. ;)

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  9. OMG....I totally love 'Sassy Ali'!!!! This post had me giggling the whole way and nodding my head in agreement!! I will unfollow a person on instgram if all they post are ab shots of them working out or just pure working out shots. Like you....I follow people's blogs to see more than just their workout schedule. And if I'm going to take the time to read a blog...cause we all know that it does take time to read the blogs we follow...I want to know that for the most part, that blog is of a positive nature. I can second guess my abilities all on my own...I don't need someone else's blog to help me do it.

    And now I'm going to go see what my "About Me" section says. LOL

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    1. Exactly...positive, interesting, relatable blogs keep us coming back for more! We don't need boring, negative, cardboard-y blogs in our lives!

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  10. Twitter has bugged me lately - I keep getting people who say "thanks for following now can you....." and then they unfollow me.
    I'm with you - I like fitness blogs but I want to know more about the person than just what they ate and how far they ran!!!

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    1. Yes, agreed! Twitter and Instagram specifically have been driving me nuts!

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  11. I use comic sans for all my grade one stuff!!! LOL. I have to be honest, after I read this post yesterday I was second guessing everything I was typing on my post! Then I got over it and hit publish....hahaha ;)

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    1. Okay but to be fair, your first graders probably LOVE Comic Sans!! It's fun and easy to read. I think it's totally fine to use a fun font for school-related stuff for kiddos.

      Obviously your content is awesome because I love everything you post, but the most important thing (and I should've written this) is that if the content is genuine and REAL, then these other rules don't matter as much. (Except for the grammar & closed-minded ones haha.)

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  12. Love this! I'm getting married next month and you will never see "wife" as a primary descriptor in any of my bios. I agree on the unnecessarily pessimistic part too; one pet peeve I also have is over bloggers who run 7:30-8:15 pace regularly who are like, "Haha! That's fast, for me! I know I'm slow." I know that pace is personal but I think that's pretty fast compared to the norm!

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    1. A woman's identity should definitely be something beyond "wife"; it's fine to use it as ONE descriptor of many, but I wish more women were proud of other actual accomplishments above that they found a spouse.

      And yes, I feel like in a way those bloggers are "pace shaming" and that's just not right!

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  13. I agree with everything you posted! I don't blog anymore, but I've dropped several of the blogs I read and IG accounts due to things you've mentioned. I'm trying to figure out which rule I've broken on IG since you unfollowed me! Haha. :-P My guess it that it's because I took a turn from running to CrossFit, and I know I lost a few runner friends due to that. I totally understand, though! Like you said, I want it to be genuine and about the things I'm interested in. I don't post for the sake of gaining followers. Those who are interested will follow!

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    1. I really enjoyed yor cross fit posts, honestly! I liked seeing you branch out into other fitness forums...but you posted once or twice that you hated running and from there I felt my interest wane :( but it was nothing personal! Like you said, it just has to do with finding an interest in what's being posted!

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    2. For sure! I aways wanted to love running as much as all my running friends do, but it was never in me. I loved the sense of accomplishment, and the new PR's, but I never could fall in love with the actual act of running. That's why I was always terrible at following a training plan! Haha. Not loving to run made it difficult. :-)

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  14. Agreed! Glad I found your blog (I think via Kristina's blog). Not a fan of follow me / I'll follow you, I enjoy reading quality content :)

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    1. It seems that Kristina and I have both led each other to a lot of blogs, which is great because they've already been vetted by someone whose opinion I respect! I remember I definitely found you through her too!

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  15. Ha, I had to go back and read my byline and my "About Me" too.

    Love your criteria and it was nice to see them listed out like that - I totally agree with all of them and it was neat to see put into words stuff that I've ruminated on.

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    1. Sometimes it just helps to write down what irks me about certain new blogs I find...It's nice to see I'm not the only one who's picky about first impressions!

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  16. I love this post and meant to comment on it earlier. I totally agree with a lot of these! I don't feel connected to overly religious or mommy centered people because my lifestyle isn't about that. I follow them if I check their IG and they seem to have a fitness centered collage of pics but blogs that are more family centered and religious toned turn me off. I also don't like close minded people. I don't mind if you have a different opinion than me (which many people do because I'm extremely liberal/new agey) but I don't want to be told I'm wrong or made to feel like my opinions don't matter. And I hate when people spell things wrong or use bad grammar. I try really hard to be conscientious of that in my posts. Hopefully you will let me know if I get it wrong ;-)

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    1. You know, if an "about me" doesn't immediately send up red flags, I often do follow bloggers or Instagrammers etc who are fitness-oriented but otherwise aren't my usual "type"...but many times I end up unfollowing. I almost appreciate when an "about me" saves me time!

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